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  • Herpes Support Forum
    • General herpes discussion
    • Just found out I have herpes
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    • The herpes talk: disclosing
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Found 6 results

  1. I finally told my boyfriend my little secret. I was terrified. Heart pumping, facts ready, on the verge of crying. We had just watched an episode of dexter so I thought to myself, well it could be worse, I could be a serial killer right? I sent him a text earlier in the night that we needed to talk about something so he would keep asking me about it. Although I pushed it off, I couldn't avoid it. I sat him down and told him about my surprise blood test and what it meant. I told him how much I cared about him and wanted to protect him. I told him he had to not only get tested but also decide if being with me is right for him. He kind of chuckled, which I was offended at first because I was in tears but his response was nothing what I expected. He said "do you think thats going to stop me from being with you?" He told me that I was the most amazing person he's ever met and I made him a better person. While I couldn't stop crying from happiness and relief, he even cracked a joke saying "it was just another bump in the road on the way to the rest of our lives" which I thought was both clever and funny. Really helped me stop being in my head and made me realize how small this issue truly was. He asked a bunch of questions and just held me until I was okay. And guess what? He even had sex with me that night. He did not care. He saw me for me not this disease which I felt nobody would ever see again. He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world and I am seriously on cloud 9 that a beautiful man, inside and out, can treat me with such respect and love even with this little skin condition. Trust me ladies, he is the most handsome man I've ever dated. And sweetest. He texted me this morning telling me that he doesn't know how I do it because he cares even more deeply about me now than before I disclosed. I feel so connected and close with him, something I probably wouldn't have ever experienced without herpes. Who would have guessed herpes gave me something truly positive besides my STD test. haha! I hope this helps anyone feeling down and unloveable because that is just not true. You are worthy of anything you desire; success, happiness, and yes even LOVE.
  2. I started dating a guy a few weeks ago. Earlier in the night, prior to having sex he confessed he had had a mouth sore and didn't know what it was so he consulted his dentist, who told him simply he has herpes. And then he added he doesn't have genital herpes. Later that night we started to have sex and I chickened out on my own status (HSV II - more details in other posts). It wasn't until a week later, when he was supposed to come visit me, that I finally was able to confess. But my question/issue isn't about the disclosing per se. It's after the fact. I told him he should go get tested immediately to confirm he doesn't already have it and then again later (whenever his doctor recommends, as it seems there are varying time frames to wait for the antibodies to build up). He resisted/denied my request for getting tested right away, claiming he had already been tested for EVERYTHING, including HSV. But now, a day later, I'm wondering why his story doesn't seem to jive. He claims he recently had a mysterious mouth sore, and that his dentist (visually) diagnosed it as herpes (more obivously type I). So how could he claim he was surprised by this recent symptoms/diagnosis, when he claims he had already been tested for it. He would've come up positive already for at least Type I, no? The mouth sore shouldn't have been a surprise to him, unless he was just making out with someone and somehow got it that way, I suppose. Either way, I'd like to insist he get tested right away, in addition to waiting later. That way we could be sure he doesn't already have it. MY MAIN QUESTION IS: Is that weird of me to ask/insist of him to take a test now? He seemed comfortable taking my word for it that my last test results came back negative for other STIs. But I'd be willing to take it again if he asked/insisted, in fact I plan to anyway. I'd just really like to clear that possibility out right away, so we won't have to wait unnecessarily another 45+ days for a diagnosis.
  3. Im in a new relationship, 2 months in. We were having unprotected sex. About 5 days ago I found open painful areas on my genitals including on my clitoris. I went to the dr was diagnosed and started on Valtrex. The pain is so bad. Whats worse is the Dr told me since I had flu like symptoms, enlarged lymph nodes and a fever this was my first infection and my partner infected me. I dont know how to address it with my partner. We are in love, even spoken about marriage and moving in together but he has a temper. My worry is he will deny giving it to me, be angry/aggressive and perhaps even disclose my status publicly. When should I tell him? Face to face or on the phone? I never had any symptoms before I really believe he infected me. I am angry, scared, in pain and hopeless. Any advice would be appreciated.
  4. Im in a new relationship, 2 months in. We were having unprotected sex. About 5 days ago I found open painful areas on my genitals including on my clitoris. I went to the dr was diagnosed and started on Valtrex. The pain is so bad. Whats worse is the Dr told me since I had flu like symptoms, enlarged lymph nodes and a fever this was my first infection and my partner infected me. I dont know how to address it with my partner. We are in love, even spoken about marriage and moving in together but he has a temper. My worry is he will deny giving it to me, be angry/aggressive and perhaps even disclose my status publicly. When should I tell him? Face to face or on the phone? I never had any symptoms before I really believe he infected me. I am angry, scared, in pain and hopeless. Any advice would be appreciated.
  5. So here goes my first post.... i am dating a girl and things are going well and I feel like I need to tell her before things go any further. I am terrified that she is going to run a mile once she knows. I have so much anxiety over this and don't know where to start the conversation. any advise on this topic?
  6. Hey community, I'm wondering if you've ever experienced anything similar? I'm 3 years into my dx and just started dating a nice HSV- guy. For a month I've had this weird itch/pain that feels very different from an outbreak and there's a little bump, but I can't tell if it's an outbreak or not, and it's in a different spot than usual. I've been withholding sex for a month thinking it will go away but it hasn't. I wonder if it's (TMI) a cut from grooming or whatnot. It takes ages to get a gyno appt in NYC and I'm scared he's going to leave me from having to wait so long. Every day feels like a year. What would you do? Also does anyone know of support groups in NYC?
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