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  1. So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and it’s been a year since i found out he gave me Herpes. I have HSV-1 On my genitalia. It’s been a year and I still get depressed about it and very sad because he was my second partner ever & this happened. I’m not so happy in my relationship but I feel like this is the best it’ll get. Ever since I found out I have herpes i feel like no one will ever want me so I should just settle. I also have realized I have resentment towards him because of this. I’m the only one who has dealt with multiple outbreaks including on my birthday which freaking sucked and mostly because of the fact that he was the second person I’ve ever had sex with. I felt my life was a bad episode on a show. PS sorry if I repeated myself a lot, this is the first time EVER that I’m able to speak abou this because no one else besides my boyfriend knows. It’s just hard and I’m so glad I found this page.
  2. Hello! I am new to this group and I am looking for support and advice. When I was 13-16, I was in a relationship where I was frequently sexually assaulted. He would coerce me into having sex with him with threats of self-inflicted harm. He told his parents we were having sex and they supported it. I was young and was upset with myself for being uncomfortable - if it was okay with everyone else why was I so upset? I was embarrassed to tell my friends or my parents, so I bit my tongue and they still are unaware to this day. After two and a half years, that relationship ended but it was a lot harder to navigate the world after that. In my junior year of college (six years later) I talked about it for the first time to my favorite professor, and he helped me through therapy and to work through what had happened. I was finally becoming comfortable with who I was physically, and I felt ready to take on the world. A few months later, I was in a new relationship and everything was going smoothly. I told him about what happened in my first relationship and he was very considerate of how I was feeling every step of the way. He was the first person I comfortably had sex with. Within the first two weeks of us being together physically, I tested positive for HSV. Before we were together, I had him get updated STD tests, and we always used protection. I talked to him about it and he was unaware that he had it. We worked through it together, but we broke up a few months later for unrelated reasons. Now that I am alone, I am genuinely coming to terms with all of this for the first time. When I was with my ex we didn't have to worry about passing it because we clearly both had it. Now, I am facing the reality of how this will impact my life and the relationships I may forge. It took me six years to become comfortable in my sexuality, and it feels like that was ripped from my hands. I am having issues being comfortable with myself, let alone other people. I recently have been talking to someone that is everything I could need in a person, and him and I get along very well. I am very anxious to talk to him about it. I feel like it is definitely too soon to bring it up, but I am so tired of having this weight on my chest. This is the kind of conversation I would want to have in person, but due to the recent COVID pandemic that is definitely not an option. I kind of want to rip the bandaid off and tell him about my first relationship and my HSV status, but I am not sure the best way to move forward in doing so. I am not sure how to navigate through all of this, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  3. Hi everyone! I just took a trip to the US for the week (living in the uk currently) and had originally brought enough meds for the week but I’m about to run out and I’m having one of the worst outbreaks yet, I’m in excruciating pain and had to up my dose to 1000 mg. I have my flight tomorrow at 11pm and was wondering if anyone in the area would be able to help me with some meds before I set off. It would be a life saver and of course it would be nice to meet in real life! Thank you so much!
  4. Hi guys, Not sure if this belongs here but here goes! 4 years ago I had an outbreak of what was diagnosed clinically as herpes but tests came back negative. I had a horrendous fever for two week with huge painful ulcerated craters in my vagina, a weird grey discharge and swollen glands in my armpits.The first doctor told me I had syphilis! Then I went to a sexual health clinic where she said it was incredibly bad herpes. I was given Zovirax and lidocaine for the pain, after two days the whole of my vagina swelled up and I could hardly see the sores! I could hardly walk. It took about 2 weeks for the fever and illness to subside and the ulcers to calm down, it didn’t completely clear up for about 4 weeks. As I said the tests (swabs and blood test) came back negative. Now four years later, almost exactly to the day weirdly enough I’ve noticed a white head looking lump (like a pea) inside my labia. This is how it appeared before but there were more of them and then they turned into huge craters.  Basically I just want to know is a four year gap between outbreaks typical and do the symptoms sound like herpes? Thanks!
  5. Has anyone ever experienced more than one breakout of HSV1 in the genital area in one year?? I’m having a second outbreak and it’s kinda scaring me. Also, should it be itching severely bad?!
  6. I went in yesterday, my vagina opening was a little red but did not hurt. He swabbed said idk 50/50 (nice hey) and said I had to wait a week. I literally died inside expesually not knowing. It doesn’t hurt and there is a little pink spot on the vagina lip hurts only a little when I touch it roughly. I went in today to get valtrex because if anything I don’t want to go through the horrific pain of a first outbreak. It was a different doctor. A female this time. She looked and said I don’t see anything and I’m 99% your test will come back negative. Has this happened to any of you ? What was your outbreak like? I’m not in any pain except emotionally
  7. I seriously believe that I have something else or maybe I'm in denial. this can't be hsv1 it has to be something else but my blood work proves differently. can anyone tell me the difference between the two hsv1 and ghsv1 and shingles
  8. Positive blood test 51.80 but negative swab culture What does this means??j Hsv1 results were 51.80 I'm assuming this is a silent on. No pain no oozing no itching no burning. It a just there Hsv2 results Were in the negative range
  9. If having an outbreak does it usual form as one painless bump then heal and disappear then another one appears ? And keep continuing until it's gone
  10. Hi guys! Lemme start off by saying I’m thankful for this site, I didn’t believe there were as many people that had this in common with me, and I admire each and every persons story that has to deal with this. Anyways, I’ve had H since 2016. I was diagnosed on my 19th Birthday (Happy Birthday to me right?). When I found out I felt like my life was over, right when I was actually starting to live it. I was gifted by a partner I had been back and forth with for over a year, and when I moved to his city, one night something seemed off when we had sex, I had a gut feeling, I looked at the dresser and thought “use it” but I didn’t, and now I’m here. Long story short, it’s taken me a while to come to terms with this. I was in denial for a long time, thinking maybe it would just go away, then I’d have an OB and sink into a dark pit of depression again. I’m 21 now, and I’m just now starting to feel like myself again, especially since I’m having less OB. Well, I recently met this new guy, he’s 13 years my senior though. (34). We hit it off great, hung out a few times at his place, and he doesn’t make me feel like there’s a big age difference.. I haven’t felt like this about someone in a while.. especially with my condition affecting the way I viewed relationships with people for a LONG time. But there’s something that’s so genuine about him to me. Anyway, I let him know off rip that this wasn’t about just sex for me, I want to build slow and see where it goes. So the first couple nights things went smooth. He was respectful and we just talked mostly. Watched movies. Fooled around a little. Well last night, things got heated, and we had sex, protected, it didn’t last more than a minute. But I didn’t get a chance to disclose yet and I was in the moment. Well when I left, I was so weighed down by guilt, I had to say soemerhing. I haven’t disclosed to everyone I’ve been intimate with. Something I’ll always regret. But I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I just want to live in my truth. So I broke down and told him when I got home. I sent a long text message letting him know I was sorry for taking away the choice from him like what was done to me, and he wasn’t mad at all. He called me the next morning even and talked to me about it. He seemed very accepting of me, told me that he appreciates the honesty, and basically told me that the ball was in my court for how I wanted to pursue this relationship, and he promised he wouldn’t ever tell anybody. (My town is small) So I hang up, cry tears of joy because I’m relieved.. and go about my day.Well usually he texts me all throughout the day, I didn’t receive not one text. And he seemed short of words when I texted him first. He even said he was going to bed at 9.. which is the earliest I’ve ever heard of him going to bed. Usually he carries good conversation so I guess my question is, how do you deal with rejection? Because I feel like that’s what it may come to, and I don’t know how I’ll take it if he changes his mind and decides not to pursue a relationship with me anymore. Am I overthinking it for it only being one day? This is why I don’t date out of my range because I have no clue how to analyze how an older man may feel about this situation. He seemed very knowledgeable of the situation when I told him, and now I’m completely confused. What do I do?
  11. Hey y'all, I am new to this site due to my recent diagnosis. I knew something was wrong about 2 weeks ago when I started getting bumps on my labia, at first I thought they were ingrowns because of my recent (almost 3 week old) Brazilian wax I had. Well point being I knew this wasn't normal and got tested, my dr. assured me that it wasn't herpes because she said mine didn't look like it and she even mentioned that first outbreaks are horrible so she was "so positive" that it wasn't that. My first outbreak was more inconvenient than anything, slightly itchy, only pain when accidentally scratched nothing too bad so I believed her. My partner and I have been together for about a year and a half, and we've had an open relationship for about 4 months of that time, he hasn't slept with anyone while I have, used condom all the time during open relationship. I don't know if my partner was the one with herpes or if I'm the one that brought it on, its just weird that I just recently had my outbreak when him and I have been monogamous since January. He knows about the diagnosis and he just wants me to not feel like trash, and get on medicine so i can feel better.. My only concern is how effective is suppressive therapy? Is it like with HIV that they have undetectable = untransmittable? My dr was NO help! they even thought they had already given me meds when they hadn't, and when I was asking questions (over the phone I may add because apparently giving that info is no big deal) she made it seem like I didn't have to worry about my diagnosis after the physical symptoms went away. I had to do some digging and find out that you can still shed the virus. I just need help because IF my partner doesn't have herpes for some reason, I want to keep him safe. Those with experience, can you help out? Should he get tested as well? He has no physical symptoms (so far). Can we still have oral sex without using a dental dam? I just dont know where to go from here...
  12. It's been exactly a month since I last slept with someone. And I may have contracted herpes of other std from the other partner. I'm having some weird sensation on specifc parts of lips and genitals. Is it a sign? My appointment is in a week and I'm really freaking out right now.
  13. Hi Everyone, I’m worried I have HSV1. The other day my friend offered me a drag of his cigarette at a party, as I almost took a drag, I noticed he had a scabbed cold sore on his lip. Unfortunately the butt of the cigarette barely tapped my lip. But it did touch for 1 Sec. I am wondering if anyone else has transmitted HSV1 from sharing a cig or drink? I am very worried, and upset. It’s been 2 weeks, and no sores yet but I know i need to get tested after 4 weeks.
  14. So I am having a really really tough time right now. I officially found out I’m HSV2 positive back in May. That being said, I went to my doctor and she gave me 3 fills of valtrex for when I think I’m having an OB. (3 days at 2 tabs per day) ok I’ve had 2 OB in the last 3 weeks and I’m about to lose my shit. The valtrex does not stop the blisters (she told me if taken soon enough I shouldn’t even see blisters) and the OBs are getting WORSE sand CLOSER together. Guys I’m seriously close to going off the deep end. I thought I could handle this and be upbeat because shit happens but is this my life now? Like seriously an OB 2 times a month? My anxiety is sky high-which isn’t helping the OBs- but I work out, I eat well, I sleep a ton. I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO but idk if I can live like this. This constant fear that every tickle/itch/bump is an OB. How can I tell if it’s actually an OB or a just an itch? I’m so upset please please if anyone has an advice or suggestions I would so appreciate it. I haven’t even left my bed in a day because I feel like a diseased faker who is harboring this awful secret but pretending to be normal and I just can’t anymore. I’m at a total loss.
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