Search the Community

Here is my story. I had contracted herpes (HSVII/genital) in 2012 from a partner who *claims* he didn't know. I was naturally devastated, but luckily had been on road trip with said partner, and honestly being away from home distracted me from the bizarreness of it all, at least temporarily. I could be distracted with all the adventures that we had planned for the trip. And surprisingly this partner was totally not freaked out by this new diagnosis, let alone current symptoms/outbreak. Over the years I had managed to disclose successfully to a handful of different partners. Most of them came around and we had full-fledged relationships, ending for other reasons, but mostly on good/decent terms. However, in September of 2018 I had met this one guy and failed to disclose to him. He was everything (I thought) I wanted and thus I was greatly ashamed & intimidated about disclosing. Then, what I will call "the perfect storm" happened and I failed to disclose before sex. I'll skip the details about that here. But I do have another post where I got into trouble with him being angry from having told him after the fact. Fast forward to about 6 months later. I had been working hard, and even enrolled in courses to propel my career, just hoping to redeem myself and help build greater self-confidence in order to prevent the weakness I had experience previously. Having started to feel stronger and better about myself, I put myself out on a dating website. I had so much interest and quickly met a great guy that I started to build a connection with. I thought I would have the courage to tell someone within the first few dates, but it started getting close to six dates, and I was growing increasingly anxious. After I had made the terrible mistake with the previous guy, I was sure I would have the confidence to tell just about anyone, but that seemed to have faded, and I struggled all over again with shame and (lack of) self-confidence. One night we had a miscommunication that upset me, and he was so apologetic and sincere, that it became clear to me that this man was dedicated, so I thought F-it! If he's so dedicated there's one quick way to be sure. Also, in the weeks leading up to this, I had run it through my head that I could approach with the mentality/attitude that *he* needs to be okay with this if we are going to progress. And by that I meant it's *his* responsibility to be cool with this (not mine). I finally got myself to a point where I don't feel like I need to take full responsibility for someone accepting something about me that I cannot change and that I didn't really get the decision to. I no longer need to take responsibility for whether someone else can make a reasonable rational decision based on facts, and that me already knowing, sharing/disclosing, and protecting myself (& my partner) is a lot LESS riskier than had he continued dating so many other people, many of which could have it and not know it or not be able/willing to disclose in advance properly. So that night I texted him to get his butt over to my place and that we needed to have a talk. He hurried over and was scared that he had done something wrong. I quickly reassured him that wasn't the case. We walked over to a cute little suspension bridge in my neighborhood, where we could have privacy from neighbors, and then I managed to cough up the news like hairball (awkwardly). He immediately stopped me and told me that even though he hasn't dated many people, it wasn't the first time he had a relationship with someone who had this. He barely let me finish and then hugged me and reassured me. Then we continued walking the neighborhood and he took that as an opportunity to bring a few other important topics to the table, nothing related to this site. I felt amazing, redeemed & relieved, and finally proud of myself. I hope this lil story helps at least one person. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Oh, and no judgements from me if you are struggling or fail to disclose. I'm here to do my best to educate & encourage so you don't continue making these mistakes.

So I’ve had HSV-2 for around 6 months and thought my outbreaks would be less frequent but they seem to be happening quite a lot🙄 they aren’t terrible, I just get a bit of pain,tingling and swelling no ulcers or anything but it’s so frustrating! Does anyone know any food / vitamins that I can take in order to try and prevent this happening? Also when I had my first outbreak I was already ill and on antibiotics so my first outbreak was absolutely horrific! However I’ve noticed the places where I had the ulcer like sores is totally different to where I now seem to get my little outbreaks ( always in the same place),does that mean when the virus is active and shedding it will be from all of these places or will it just be from where all my outbreaks occur ? Thanks in advance 😌

What’s up all!! I just wanna let you guys in on my first year of having hsv-2. I’ve had a very little first outbreak 2 small “sores” that were kinda apart, was scared went to urgent care and requested blood work and full STD PANEL, everything came back negative except for HSV-1 which I had as a young boy, and HSV-2 via IGG blood test. I must have had it for a while since it takes a while to build antibodies ( my levels were like 8 or9). Another reason I was scared was my gf was having UTI symptoms which she tested positive for it but I had her go get tested for HSV and she was positive via IGM...she was given antivirals but she only took them for a week. Now fast forward to here, we do not have any outbreaks or they might be so small we don’t even notice. We have a great sex life and are going strong. We do not blame each other because we both didn’t know who carried it first. But anyways just wanted to give update on my year and how it doesn’t bother my at having this disease, I forget about it most of the time. Thank for reading and god bless you all!

So, one of my closest friends recently got diagnosed with HSV-2. I guess I should give some back story... Said friend- We’ll call him Randy- Has been very mentally unwell recently. He’s been exhibiting suicidal tendencies and being overall uncaring as to whether he lived or died... We have all been extremely worried for him and trying to help him in the best ways we can. He came forth recently and told us he was getting help, and we were all elated. I truly just want to see him happy and successful, he’s had so much hardship in his life. But unfortunately, one of his reckless behaviors was having unprotected sex. I am not technically supposed to know about this diagnosis. My boyfriend told me. He did this because he was worried for my well-being; I’m immunocompromised due to medication, and he was afraid of my being put in harms way. Please don’t bash my boyfriend for this as he would never have told me if he wasn’t genuinely worried- I’ve gotten sent to the hospital/ER for common colds before if my state when catching it was bad enough. Since my boyfriend has told me, I’ve been researching like crazy on how to support Randy. I have never had anyone in my life with an STD (that I’ve been aware of) before. From what I’ve read, I should be okay- since herpes can’t live outside of the body for long at all and can’t be transmitted through just hugging or clothing contact or using the same bathroom- all of the general “myths”. I’ve also ready how to comfort him and what not to say. I just don’t want him to feel like I’m going to treat him any different than I am right now. And I’ve reassured my boyfriend as well, he’s also been researching continuously to debunk myths and know what to not say, etc. Though he has expressed that he’s still worried for my safety... I can’t completely blame him, he has had to watch me go through some terrible stuff that I’m sure from the other side must have been terrifying to see. I guess my two main questions are 1) What are some of the best ways I can support Randy? I’m going to wait for him to tell me, whenever he is ready, but when he does I want to be prepared in knowing the best way I can support him. What to say, if I should provide some specific comfort through research, if there is anything YOU would/have done for someone else or would/have loved if someone did the same on your behalf? Any advice helps. And 2) I want my boyfriend to be assured that’s i will be okay... I have shown him research but he tends to worry about my wellbeing a little fiercer than most, and can be overprotective when it comes to my health. I just want him to be comfortable in knowing that we don’t have to change the way we interact with Randy in fear for my health, since the only way I could ever be affected is through genital/genital or genital/mouth contact. Again- any advice would be appreciated! I’m sorry if my thoughts seem jumbled or if there are typos, it’s fairly late on my end but I needed to seek advice on this before I see Randy and my boyfriend to know how to approach things without making anyone uncomfortable, upset, distressed or anything like that. I appriciate you taking king the time to read all of this 🙂 Thank you!

Hi all, It's been a long time since I visited here. But feel the need to tell a little of my battle since 2014 with what my Infectious Disease Dr. calls "the most aggressively virulent case of disseminated HSV2" he's ever treated. What does that mean? It means I have it everywhere. Literally there is no part of my body that has not had blisters in the last 48 months. Well, I contracted this strain of HSV2 from my wife who is asymptomatic Fall of 2014. As happens, it went undiagnosed and untreated for too long. After a week or two, I had 27 ulcers on and around my genitals. Cut ulcers, round ones, rectal, everywhere. At one point was taking 4 GRAMS of acyclovir per day and it did nothing. During the undiagnosed period, I spread the virus into my mouth, and orofacial nerve system. 4 months after my genital primary outbreak came the oral outbreak. The entire hard palate of my mouth and throat became a 2 inch ulcer. I could not eat soft foods without gargling with Lidocaine and codeine liquid first. This lasted 3 weeks. Again, antivirals were used (all 3, acyc, valacyc, famvir) to no effect. My eyes became involved, beard area, and every surface of my mouth. At one point along my gums I counted 37 tiny ulcers with a flashlight. It was, I thought, the end of my life. The depression that coincided (I am bipolar as well) was the blackest pit one can imagine. I saw 7 different doctors. I took a lot of narcotic pain relievers. Acupuncture, reiki, chinese herbalists, naturopaths, psychiatrists, ID, dermatology, you name it. They all could not believe at the time this was all HSV related. But it was. I knew it. We all know it deep in our hearts and gut. I had every immune and blood test known to medicine. There is nothing else but this. This virus is the modern scourge of mankind. This all happened within 6 months. Then, as it does, the virus slowly retreated into my nerves. Outbreaks became less severe, though still absolutely nonstop on some part of my body. I had whitlow on fingers and toes. Clusters of blisters on my arms, scalp, back, neck, and lower legs. If I brushed against something that irritated my skin, an outbreak began within 12-18 hours. Am I trying to claim the worst experience ever? No. I am here because I survived. I am now still taking daily doses of both Valacyclovir and Famvir, alternating 3 times a day. I take every supplement. I have found a psychiatrist who understands what this does to our minds and souls. My bipolar is being handled with success for the 1st time in my adult life. I got married, and we now have a beautiful healthy 6 month old boy. There are times when I am covered in bandages so I can hold him without worrying of infection, but somehow it works. If I can live with this, we all can. It has made me treat my body like the temple it is. I don't drink, smoke, eat processed foods or sugar, wear sunscreen, sunglasses, bathe in epsom salts and oils, drink water with decaf green tea all day. There is still some viral activity every day. A nerve twinge, a lump of hot skin erupting. But I have found ways to stop or lessen the pain and duration. 1. Anasept gel (amazon prime). This is a wound cleaning gel or spray that is used in hospitals and kills very gently almost all microbes. Think of it as Lysol for the skin. It is used for burn victims and people with bed sores, diabetic ulcers, etc. I am shocked that nowhere online can I find mention of it with HSV. You can use this anywhere including the genitals and anus. I keep a tube of this in the car, in my desk, and in every bathroom. 2. Bactine. This is less effective for me than the Anasept, but still works to calm the skin after sex, swimming, golf and sweating, etc. I keep this everywhere as well and it is available in almost every store. 3. Orajel max strength triple medicated gel. This is the only thing I have found OTC for the mucous membranes and hard surfaces of the mouth and inside the nose. Every night before bed I put it on my tongue and coat my mouth, as dryness tends to have me wake with new blisters. 4. Anti-dandruff organic shampoos. I use a lavender one that has helped control the large blisters on the scalp and back of the neck. 5. Ice. Always. 6. Biofreeze menthol spray. If I have been in the sun, and my shoulders start to tingle, or my low back, I apply this liberally. Cooling and therapeutic to calm the skin. 7. Faith and prayer. I have never had spirituality or faith in a higher power until the last several years. I cannot stress enough the power of prayer to calm the body, heart, and mind. I hope this helps. Modern medicine does little for me, but treating these bastards as soon as I sense them is helping me survive and even thrive. If I can do this, you can too. I wish for you all the love and peace in the universe. -J

http://www.petition2congress.com/4807/fda-fast-track-aic-316-hsv2-therapeutic-drug/

I'm hoping to find more information about the possibility of oral hsv2 transmission, the likeliness of it happening, do many of you have it? Have many/any of you given it? I'm finding it difficult to find information on this, I know it's rare, but if it is a possibility I'd like to be able to offer concise, factual information to my partner, not just "oh it's so rare, don't even worry about it." In short I really miss being on the receiving end of oral sex so any light anyone could shed on this would be oh so helpful. Please!!! I'm losing my [email protected] mind!!!!!

So when I got my test results back last week they informed me that I had simplex 1.it is gh. I have tried to do research on the internet for what's the difference between simplex 1 and 2. Also on gh in general. Almost everything I read contradicts the last thing I read. How does simplex one affect you differently in the genital area than simplex 2? I'm hoping that the good things I read are true like typically its not as severe because its out if its area. Idk it just all confuses me. Since I've only known for a week that I have it. I'm already starting to come to terms with the whole thing and accept that I have it...I've realized there's nothing I can do about it since we all know that I well have it the rest of my life.there are times I just sit there and cry when I wonder how will I tell people in my life since before my sex life was so open.it has definitely opened my eyes to be more safe and maybe now I will get to know someone before jumping in bed with them.sorry I'm rambling I just need to get it out.I took the valtrex that the doctor prescribed me and I believe it helped a lot.also idk if this is weird but I put desitin on my sores and they were healed up quite a bit the next day.is it better to take the antibiotic everyday got the rest of my life or just when I'm having an outbreak? Id prefer to not have them or have as few as possible...I was in so much pain and I work in the medical field and I could barely walk...I don't want this to undereye with my job

I have Oral Herpes type two. Yes positive. I need more information on symptoms and transmission rates, and can I kiss again?? :( I have kissed someone and I want to know if that can pass on to him? Not too much info out there on oral type two. Please help! - Liz

Hello Everyone, I am new to the site and have found it very helpful. I have never joined an online group like this before and am a little nervous about having a "voice" in this sub-culture of HSV-2 diagnosed people. I was diagnosed in 2006 and have spent countless hours of research online and talking to my doctors. I just recently started dating again after a break-up, it took about six months for me to get back out in the dating world. I met someone, and a couple of weeks into it, I told him about my diagnosis. The only physical contact we were having was an occasional kiss and a hug towards the end of one of our dates. Of course, telling someone about herpes is difficult, but I wanted to be honest with him from an early point. He said he was shocked, but we could work through it. I haven't heard from him since. It is quite embarrassing. Even after all these years, the rejection is still painful. We had known each other from grade school, but had met again online on a dating site. I am curious to know if it is considered okay to date on sites other than STD sites? Is it ethical?

There was a time where I was a very religious/Christian/spiritual type person. I would pray every night and go to church 2x per week almost. I slowly moved away from this and did not pray as much and became more sexually active with people who I did not have serious commitments with. I felt that as long as my partner wore a condom, everything would be ok. Or, if my partner had no signs of an outbreak, which I would have hoped they would tell me if they did, I could not catch anything. Well, I did catch HSV-2 from a partner that was wearing a condom and had never had an outbreak. He was completely unaware that he had HSV-2 until I had an outbreak a week after we had sex and called to tell him. What is wearing on my mind is that I wonder if I had been a more faithful and praying person, would this not have happened? Did God lift his protection from me because I was not praying like I should have or going to church like I should? I have friends that sleep with a different guy every month (or more), but they pray and go to church and nothing has happened to them. I know that this may sound crazy, but it is how I feel. I feel that God stopped protecting me when I stopped being as faithful.

Hi Y'all! Had a quick question concerning French kissing (mouth to mouth). Is it possible in any way to transmit HSV-2 to my partner this way? I know that HSV-1 can be, but wasn't sure about the other kind. Many thanks ahead of time for your consideration of my query, and your possible response. Have a great day!