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So I finally started dating again after my ex, who gave me the beautiful present of HSV2. We have been broken up for a while but the thought of having to tell someone terrifies me and I held back because of it. Fast forward, I finally decide I'm ready to date. Met a guy who I completely fell for. He was smart, sweet, attractive, honest. Just everything. When it came time to tell him, I could tell the air just changed. I told him I'd give him some time to think about it and to please ask me any questions. Well, he texted me the next day and ended it. Said he couldn't take the chance. I'm devastated. I'm scared of being alone forever. I'm scared of never having great sex again. I'm scared of never being loved. Please please share your positive disclosure stories because I couldbuse some cheering up..

Hello everyone! Apologies that this may be a bit long. I just really need some support. I was hoping I could get an opinion on this interaction I had a few days ago. For background, I am HSV-1 orally positive, like so many people. Last herpes test in Nov, HSV-2 negative. The other day, I got intimate with a potential new partner. What was very upsetting is that they told me as we were already getting intimate that they were HSV-2 positive, but had never had an outbreak to their knowledge. The trustworthiness is a whole other topic, so I just have a few questions, and I'd say I'm mainly looking for some validation of my thought process and, also, some reassurance I hope🙂 There was (fairly brief) receptive oral sex (I am a male) from the HSV-2 positive person -- I did not perform it on them. Other than that, there was some mutual masturbation, and genital/anal fingering (but to the very best of my recollection, I did not touch myself afterwards. And not long after, I washed my hands). Adequate lubrication was certainly used. There was zero penetrative/insertive sex, genitally. No anal nor vaginal sex or genital-to-genital contact whatsoever. Basically, I am extremely worried, and I am hoping I could get some opinions on whether this one solitary instance was really risky, or if I can relax until I ultimately get my routine STI test? Essentially, my questions are: - I've done some research, and I know Terri Warren's resources say that fingering and mutual masturbation are not considered high risk at all. I assume that means I don't have to worry much about the fingering thing? - re: the Oral contact. Terri Warren's herpes handbook (on page 16-17) provides shedding rates, and it says Oral HSV-2 is by far the least active type of herpes. What I gather from that is that when there is no active outbreak, the risk is very low. That being said: it is overwhelmingly likely that a positive HSV-2 test is genital-based, in which case, the HSV-2 positive person performing oral sex briefly is no risk, right? Additionally, I followed up with them and they assured me their mouth felt completely and entirely normal. Even if they were one of the very rare cases of oral HSV-2, and statistically it's unlikely, am I correct to assume that absent of an active outbreak, the odds of transmission because of how inactive and low shedding rates it has asymptomatically, it was not super high risk? Basically, do I have much to worry about here? Thank you to everyone who reads this and I appreciate any and all input!

Dear folks, Towards the end of August, I had a sexual experience with a new partner (who complained of soreness in her vagina during intercourse) and a couple of days later I started to feel unwell. My symptoms started off with genital discomfort/pain/burning and progressed into abdominal pain, body aches, fever, nausea, oral thrush, blisters in month (whitish in colour, yellow and smaller which turned into ulcers, blood blisters), shooting pain in legs and buttocks, testicular pain, red and inflamed tip of penis, and soreness in the urethra and prostrate. I have continued to have many of these symptoms for the almost two and half months since the initial infection, particularly the red and inflamed penis tip, soreness in the urethra and prostrate and reoccurring mouth ulcers and sores. More recently, I have developed a stiff/sore neck and a bit of a sensitivity to light, which makes me concerned about possible meningitis related to this infection. I have been back and forth from my GP and the sexual health clinic, but they have been unable to give me a concrete diagnosis. The sexual health clinic swabbed a couple of the mouth ulcers that I had but the results came back negative. The clinics in the UK do not do the HSV blood test so they require open sores to make a diagnosis. I haven't had any ulcers or sores in my genital region so far but continue to feel a lot of discomfort on the end of my penis and in my urethra. The sexual health clinic asserted that I have balanitis and gave me some anti-steroidal cream, which I've used on it without much relief. I guess my question is do you think that I have experienced an HSV2 infection? If so, I feel like I've contracted it both orally and genitally... I used a condom during sexual intercourse with this woman, but I did give her unprotected oral sex and we did a bit of unprotected dry humping... Also, I have been barely sleeping since my late August infection, which is almost two and half months ago, and I'm scheduled to get my second dose of the Moderna vaccine on Monday. I'm really worried about the vaccine might trigger this infection further. I really don't want any nerve damage to happen. Is it possible to get post-herpetic neuralgia from an HSV infection? If so, do you think that getting this vaccine will further trigger this infection? Tests at my GP found that my white blood cell count is on the lower end of the "normal" spectrum. Another piece of information that may be useful is that I have been vegan for the past 12 years. Unfortunately, I am not getting the clarity around what is happening to me after constantly engaging with the UK healthcare system for over two months, so I am trying to make my way back to Canada to seek further medical help. However, I have been urged by my parents to get my second COVID vaccine before I return to safeguard myself from COVID and avoid the mandatory 14 day quarantine upon return. The first shot that I got caused a high fever and severe arm pain, which swelled up. This shot was in late July prior to this sexual interaction that has led to this cascade of health issues. All advice is welcome. I'm really struggling here and do not want to feel any worse than I already am. Thanks in advance for the support, folks.

Hi guys. I guess i could start off by just saying this was a huge slap in the face for me. I have always tried to be so safe and constantly got tested. Something I never realized was they do not test herpes on a routine testing. I mean, I was never really concerned because I've only had 3 partners who were supposedly monogamous, but here we are now. Confused, lost, and sad. I've come to realization that this is the new life I have to live and something I have to accept and it is okay to be a little more different than everybody else. I guess the only thing I need help with is some questions I need answered from people who have in my position. I had my first outbreak almost 2 months ago and my doctors did not catch it until the 6th week in. Agonizing pain and constant confusion. I did not have any sores, but more so papercut type cuts on my inner lips. I also struggled with weird discolored discharge that was cottage cheese like. I don't know why I am talking past tense, but i haven't touched down there to see if there are any more cuts or even feel a burn when i pee or wash up. BUT the discharge will not stop coming out chunky and WEIRD. Is this normal?? does it eventually go away? Also, I feel like my vagina is still inflamed and sort of red. Is that normal as well? I haven't gotten any answers from my doctors. PLEASE HELP ME i am going stir crazy.

My girlfriend wants to do oral on me and "swallow". I know for vaginal sex definitely we'd have to use a condom, but not sure for oral. I know HSV2 prefers the genital area. Would it be better for her to just use her hands to avoid the extended oral contact and then just make me "finish" in her mouth? The "swallowing" thing apparently is important to her because she's persistent with it. So is it in semen? Having the green light to just "do it" sounds too good to be true. So I'd like to know how to do this safely. Thank you. (I was diagnosed more than 10 years ago and I'm asymptomatic)

I just discovered this community yesterday and am so thankful I did. I was diagnosed with hsv2 1.5 years ago. I was in a brand new relationship that I really saw turning into something serious. Because of the trust and immediate connection we had, we started having sex about a month into our relationship and never used a condom. I started experiencing symptoms less than a week after my unprotected exposure to him and never experienced anything like it before, so my doctor is pretty confident that I got it from him. I was terrified to tell him because our relationship was so new and I didn’t want it to change anything but he handled the news SO well, got tested, and found out he had it too, so it’s likely he had it all along and never knew. Flashforward, we are still together a year and a half later and are living together. We talk about marriage, kids, our future, etc., but I’d say about 3 months ago I started developing serious doubts that he was my forever person. We just aren’t as compatible as I thought, and so many things he does or says just gets under my skin. I need to decide if I’m only staying in this relationship because it’s “safe” and I don’t have to disclose my status to anyone new, or, if I actually love him and am just in a rut/psych-ing myself out. It’s the chicken or the egg problem if you’re familiar with that analogy! I often have feelings of resentment towards him and think about what my life would be like if we never met and this unlucky thing didn’t happen to me. id love to hear from anyone who was in similar shoes and stayed with the person who gave it to them out of fear of the alternative (breaking up and facing dating again with your new status). I am seeing a therapist but I am so terrified of rejection and am trying to work on forgiving myself. I know I deserve to be with someone who is a perfect fit for me, but I don’t know if he is that person or not.

Hey! So Im currently dating this guy and he seems lovely, we get on so well and i do potentially see it going somewhere HOWEVER I’m so scared to disclose ! I’ve had this nearly 2 years now and I’ve dated but the fear of having to disclose has always pushed me away and almost shut me off so I either back out or seem uninterested 😩 when in reality it’s the fear of rejection stopping me! As a result I haven’t been with anyone since my diagnosis and at 24 I feel like it’s really impacting me and I’m scared that this is it and I'm just going to be alone ! I try and remain positive about it and I know I have a lot of good qualities etc and I’m not my diagnosis but I just struggle to picture myself having a successful disclosure and it’s making me so anxious about my future! so was just hoping people could post some positive disclosing stories or ways to not let the fear of disclosing ruin any potential relationships! ... anything positive in general would be super appreciated! Also what length of time have people waited to disclose ? I was going to see how the third date went then after that tell him if I decide that I do want to progress things! thanks in advance x

So I got blood drawn a month ago and I finally got my results and I was both HSV1 and HSV2 positive my HSV 1 was at a 56. Which I’ve had for a long time and occasionally get cold sores and my HSV 2 result was 1.66 I’ve never had any symptoms or outbreaks but I do have a lot of ingrown hair bumps could that be considered symptoms? And if I do have it it was from 2 years that I was with an ex that gave me 2 other STDs and it’s the last person I had unprotected sex, does anyone think I could have been a false positive? It makes me sad cuz I am older and I don’t have kids and I think no one will want to even take me serious. :(

Hi, I currently have HSV2. And sometimes struggles to get things going down below. What lube would be best to use as we obviously need to use condoms! PleaSe help

Here is my story. I had contracted herpes (HSVII/genital) in 2012 from a partner who *claims* he didn't know. I was naturally devastated, but luckily had been on road trip with said partner, and honestly being away from home distracted me from the bizarreness of it all, at least temporarily. I could be distracted with all the adventures that we had planned for the trip. And surprisingly this partner was totally not freaked out by this new diagnosis, let alone current symptoms/outbreak. Over the years I had managed to disclose successfully to a handful of different partners. Most of them came around and we had full-fledged relationships, ending for other reasons, but mostly on good/decent terms. However, in September of 2018 I had met this one guy and failed to disclose to him. He was everything (I thought) I wanted and thus I was greatly ashamed & intimidated about disclosing. Then, what I will call "the perfect storm" happened and I failed to disclose before sex. I'll skip the details about that here. But I do have another post where I got into trouble with him being angry from having told him after the fact. Fast forward to about 6 months later. I had been working hard, and even enrolled in courses to propel my career, just hoping to redeem myself and help build greater self-confidence in order to prevent the weakness I had experience previously. Having started to feel stronger and better about myself, I put myself out on a dating website. I had so much interest and quickly met a great guy that I started to build a connection with. I thought I would have the courage to tell someone within the first few dates, but it started getting close to six dates, and I was growing increasingly anxious. After I had made the terrible mistake with the previous guy, I was sure I would have the confidence to tell just about anyone, but that seemed to have faded, and I struggled all over again with shame and (lack of) self-confidence. One night we had a miscommunication that upset me, and he was so apologetic and sincere, that it became clear to me that this man was dedicated, so I thought F-it! If he's so dedicated there's one quick way to be sure. Also, in the weeks leading up to this, I had run it through my head that I could approach with the mentality/attitude that *he* needs to be okay with this if we are going to progress. And by that I meant it's *his* responsibility to be cool with this (not mine). I finally got myself to a point where I don't feel like I need to take full responsibility for someone accepting something about me that I cannot change and that I didn't really get the decision to. I no longer need to take responsibility for whether someone else can make a reasonable rational decision based on facts, and that me already knowing, sharing/disclosing, and protecting myself (& my partner) is a lot LESS riskier than had he continued dating so many other people, many of which could have it and not know it or not be able/willing to disclose in advance properly. So that night I texted him to get his butt over to my place and that we needed to have a talk. He hurried over and was scared that he had done something wrong. I quickly reassured him that wasn't the case. We walked over to a cute little suspension bridge in my neighborhood, where we could have privacy from neighbors, and then I managed to cough up the news like hairball (awkwardly). He immediately stopped me and told me that even though he hasn't dated many people, it wasn't the first time he had a relationship with someone who had this. He barely let me finish and then hugged me and reassured me. Then we continued walking the neighborhood and he took that as an opportunity to bring a few other important topics to the table, nothing related to this site. I felt amazing, redeemed & relieved, and finally proud of myself. I hope this lil story helps at least one person. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Oh, and no judgements from me if you are struggling or fail to disclose. I'm here to do my best to educate & encourage so you don't continue making these mistakes.

I started dating a guy a few weeks ago. Earlier in the night, prior to having sex he confessed he had had a mouth sore and didn't know what it was so he consulted his dentist, who told him simply he has herpes. And then he added he doesn't have genital herpes. Later that night we started to have sex and I chickened out on my own status (HSV II - more details in other posts). It wasn't until a week later, when he was supposed to come visit me, that I finally was able to confess. But my question/issue isn't about the disclosing per se. It's after the fact. I told him he should go get tested immediately to confirm he doesn't already have it and then again later (whenever his doctor recommends, as it seems there are varying time frames to wait for the antibodies to build up). He resisted/denied my request for getting tested right away, claiming he had already been tested for EVERYTHING, including HSV. But now, a day later, I'm wondering why his story doesn't seem to jive. He claims he recently had a mysterious mouth sore, and that his dentist (visually) diagnosed it as herpes (more obivously type I). So how could he claim he was surprised by this recent symptoms/diagnosis, when he claims he had already been tested for it. He would've come up positive already for at least Type I, no? The mouth sore shouldn't have been a surprise to him, unless he was just making out with someone and somehow got it that way, I suppose. Either way, I'd like to insist he get tested right away, in addition to waiting later. That way we could be sure he doesn't already have it. MY MAIN QUESTION IS: Is that weird of me to ask/insist of him to take a test now? He seemed comfortable taking my word for it that my last test results came back negative for other STIs. But I'd be willing to take it again if he asked/insisted, in fact I plan to anyway. I'd just really like to clear that possibility out right away, so we won't have to wait unnecessarily another 45+ days for a diagnosis.

Hello everyone! My question is can someone who is hsv negative get hsv2 from oral sex with someone hsv2 positive? Is this something we need to worry about? Thanks in advance!

Hi guys. I don't know what to do with myself. The only care advice my doc has given is preventative meds and acyclovir ointment. Everything else I have read online. I take 3mg of l-lysine now daily along with Acyclovir pills. I have anxiety and IDK if that is a factor. I'm also overweight and wondering if that contributes to friction. Laying down with an ice pack on my crotch now. Can't exercise or it hurts. Looking for a seasoned vet who has overcome similar issues.

👋 Hello Can anyone tell me how long you need to take valtrex for before it really starts working? I’m specifically talking about for lowering transmission rates. Any help is much appreciated, Thanks!

Help? I have HSV2. If the other person suffers from cold sores can I still give them HSV2? Or can I now get cold sores? I’m so confused

Need everyone’s opinion: So here’s my story - i was diagnosed with hsv2 through routine bloodwork in 12/2018 with an igg of 1.79. I went on to get another igg drawn several weeks later where the igg was 1.36. (Last time I tested negative for hsv2 was 9/2015 by the way.) My gyno insisted I have hsv2, but with no symptoms and my partners being negative I was not convinced. Well, I just received my WB results this week and I am negative for Hsv1 & Hsv2. I went back to my gyno so she could see/review the results and she is STILL insisting I have hsv2 and she also stated she has no clue what this WB test from the U of W is? I’m really sad because her response is making me second guess my results and honestly makes me look a little crazy in her eyes. I have asked Terri Warren/Westover Heights, whom I got the WB with, for a letter stating that this result is legimate but she hasn’t returned my email in about 5 days so this is also making me extremely nervous and confused. Not many doctors seem to believe this test is real? Or they don’t know about it? Why? I have an appointment with a dermatologist and ID doctor coming up soon so hopefully I can get more answers, but I want to know everyone else’s opinion on here? I’m so confused.

Hi everyone, hopefully someone can help me out a little. Okay so I have genital hsv2, do I need to worry about sleeping with someone who has genital hsv1? Will I have another OB like the first one I had? I’d rather not have that experience ever again thank you very much. Can someone help me out with this? I’m trying to navigate who I can potentially consider for dating. Thank you! This forum has been really helpful.

Hi everyone, found out roughly two months ago I was positive for HSV2..I’m only 22. I’ve so many questions but I don’t know where to go to ask them. My case was awful. I went to hospital complaining of blisters and doctors said it was an allergic reaction. Told me it would pass. 5 days later I was in so much pain, nothing was helping. Went back to a different doctor. Again said it was just a reaction gave me a steroid cream and some tablets. Another week passed and I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t lay down, I couldn’t sit or walk or anything. I hadn’t slept and I was constantly crying. So 3 weeks after my first doctor interaction I went straight to A&E and cried with pain. I was then hospitalized for 5 days as I was retaining so much fluids, my case had gotten so severe, the cream I was given had made it a lot worse and I shouldn’t have been using it, the tablets I was given shouldn’t have been mixed together. I’ve been left with scars mentally and physically. Within the two months since, I’m currently going through my second breakout. What do I do? Is there medications to stop the breakouts? Is there certain things that cause the breakouts? What am I now unable to do? Can I go to a public swimming pool? Can I use sunbeds? Can I share a bath with someone? is there certain body washes I need to stay away from? the list goes on and on.... Please someone help

No insurance--seeking answers! I was given a positive test result for Hsv2 a couple of years ago. Ever since then I've had an immense amount of mystery ailments, leading my drs to believe that I may suffer from an immune disorder. So far, however , I have only had normal test results in regards to immune disorders, leaving me without answers. In the last several months I have also had monthly recurring symptoms of hsv1 (prior to this time I've never experienced cold sores) along with other mystery symptoms at the same time in my menstrual cycle, which I have found a way to control. But now that I have gotten rid of all those symptoms, I suddenly have herpes zoster (shingles of the eye). I'm at my wit's end and looking for some relief! I'm uninsured for the moment and am trying to get answers without the ability to see specialists. Has anyone experienced multiple strains like this? It seems like when I get one type of the HSV under control it rears its ugly head elsewhere. Any insight is appreciated! Thank you

So here I am, with a question I didn’t think I’d be asking.. so let me start from the top On Sunday, I hooked with someone I’d been chatting up for a few weeks via Tinder. We really enjoyed each other’s company while we were hanging out and seem fairly comparable. During one of our conversations, had made me aware he had HSV2 when the discussion of sex was brought up. He has had HSV2 for almost 5 years, and has been on antivirals for the duration he has had it. He has not has not had any symptoms, or outbreaks in a little over a year. He nor I have any other STD/STIs. He also explained he dated someone for about 6 months, they had unprotected sex multiple times, and she did not contract HSV2 during their relationship, per blood testing. Initially, I didn’t feel comfortable with having sex at all in fear of getting HSV2. However, over time my and his attraction was obvious and after more discussion, our intention was to use condoms when we hooked up. However, after another date, a few glasses of wine and the heat or the moment.. our plan changed. We had unprotected sex. Not completely unprotected from pregnancy, as I am on birth control, but unprotected from STD/STIs and herpes. It has been 3 days and I’m living in complete and utter freak out mode and nervousness about my irresponsible decision. I have spent hours googling and panicking at everything the results. I have come to determine there is no way I could NOT have contracted it. And I am so disappointed in my irresponsiblility. And I feel like even though I’m attempting to pay attention to my body and changes, I don’t necessarily have the best result due to I started my period the morning after. So I’m more sensitive than normal, and am having normal period symptoms. But nevertheless, I feel like there’s no way I didn’t catch it.. so what I want to know now, is what to be looking for? Which symptoms come first? When, realistically, is the best time to get tested (from personal experience)? How do you mentally deal with knowing you have HSV2? Hoping for some answers...

So I came down with my primary HSV 2 outbreak about 3.5 weeks ago. It sucked as I’m sure most of you can relate to. I had sores everywhere, vagina, anus, cervix, you name it. Full on flu symptoms, nerve pain in and around my butt, difficulty peeing, changes in bowel movements, extreme pain, etc. I was misdiagnosed with a UTI but they finally figured out it was herpes and put me on a ten day course of antivirals. Sores immediately started to clear and have been gone for about a week. However, I still was experiencing some extreme itching, and nerve pain. Went back to my doc, have a yeast infection to boot, yay. I think the yeast infection is clearing but this morning I wake up with a fever and feel like I have the flu and am totally exhausted and just frustrated as all get out with my body. Nerves also still feel funky downstairs. No new sores, but still itchy and tingly. Has anyone had a similar experience and how long did it take for things to normalize after your initial breakout? I’m beginning to feel like things are never going to recover which yes, is dramatic, but I’m just frustrated and overwhelmed. Any advice, kind words, hopeful stories, please share!

Is there anyone who's had hsv 2 breakouts on their eye area or throughout their body? Just would like to hear of any kind of advice or your story. Anything you can tell me really. I've had my breakouts spread throughout my face including eyelids. Now spreading to my hands. And I'm constantly breaking out. I take daily medication and it does make breakouts minor but it still is constant.

Has anyone ever spread their HSV? Midi if I actually have but I’m having weird symptoms on my face. Super oily skin, itchy and tingly all over and nowhere at once, dry patches on nose and now a single Whitehead in the corner of my right nostril. Please help!

If having an outbreak does it usual form as one painless bump then heal and disappear then another one appears ? And keep continuing until it's gone

Hi guys, I’ve been recently diagnosed and I’m just trying to get back to my “normal.” I’ve completed a full 10 day of Valtrex and my sore have subsided. Being that I also had a yeast infection, I just took some flucanozole for that so waiting on it to do it’s duty. idk, I’m still itchy and weird down there. I’ve been taking lysine+, oregano oil capsules and vitamin C daily vitamins. My symptoms have eased to a degree but now I have new ones also. Like I said, my lady parts are still itchy and it almost feels raw. I can’t explain it but no visible sore just super uncomfortable. HELP. What did you find helpful? What are some good remedies for relief? What helped with your suppression? What are the best supplements or vitamins for HSV2? All are welcomed. Thanks in advance.