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Showing results for tags 'just diagnosed; dirty; ashamed; alone; scared'.
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I am a 50+ year old woman who has always been cautious sexually. I didn't have sex for the first time until I married. Two weeks ago, I engaged in what I consider to be casual sex with someone with whom I had been out a few times. A few days later, I was diagnosed with HSV1 on my genitals from oral sex. I feel so irresponsible, ashamed, and dirty. I know it's not fatal, but I am so depressed. I talked with the man and he was apologetic and nice but doesn't want a serious relationship. I knew that but everything feels so weird right now. I don't know how to negotiate a relationship with him now and dread the prospect of having to share this diagnosis with anyone in the future. I am an open book about everything in my life but this is something I can't share and that makes me sad, too. My sister passed away a few months ago ... she is the one I would have gone to for support. I was just starting to feel a little bit of joy and this has been a huge setback. I worry about future outbreaks and what I can expect in terms of the number of outbreaks and severity. If you are reading this and have anything that you can share that would be helpful, I would so appreciate it. Thank you, thank you. I am crying as I write this.