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  1. This is what I have come to realise....for now! I had my first OB 3 weeks ago after being sleep deprived and morning the loss of a loved one. I'm I didn't know what the hell it was. I couldn't wee without crying, nothing was working, and for me I had very large ulcers on my clitoris and very near the entrance of my vagina. I was sure it was thrush where I itched so much. Well turns out it was an OB of type 2. Absolutely gutted. I have been through all the emotions. Dirty, shameful, sad, like one big fat walking germ and the biggest one....lonelyness, but what I have come to realise is what the hell can I do about it now. I'm not crying over it night after night, I'm gonna get up, get dressed, straighten my crown and carrying the hell on enjoying life! It's doesn't matter if it's your first time, u used condoms every time, or your enjoying your sexual confidence, whatever, we can all still get it or got Herpes. I am still here, I am still alive and I am still ME. And more importantly there is fuck all I can do about it....but learn and educate. I don't know who gave it to me and I'm not sitting here trying to figure it out. I had sex, it's just part of having sex and I'm not pointing any fingers. What i am doing is telling everyone that needs to know. I told my ex straight away. He said it is what it is and he was sorry for me and will get himself tested. Without even knowing if it was him, after I explained about it all, he apologised if I had caught it from him, he doesn't know and nor do I. And i do not care. I choose to have sex, I'm a big girl, I knew about the risks. Next came the man I love, I was so damn nervous, but I will never lie and certainly not to him. After the initial shock and lots of questions I got the same response and he said he will support me 100% and get test also. What a relief. See it's not all nightmare stories. Things might change, he might change is mind and that's ok, it's his body and I am not in charge of his feelings. I can only do what i can do to protect him or whatever future partner I might have. I am scared of rejection. But what can I do about it, everyone is entitled to feel how they feel and I will be damned if I let it ruin my personality because I get a cold sore on my vagina from time to time!!! I'm frighten, yes I know extreme, but I am frightened of future OB. But I got past the first time I'l get past the next one, should it happen. I Have my coconut oil, ice parks and salt water at the ready. THIS THING WILL NOT BEAT ME! I realise I am new to this, I know at some point I will hate that I have it but for right now I'm gonna do my research, enjoy my life, take good care of my vagina and body, listen to the itches and the tingles and enjoy my sex life! My only real question I have is I hear "it's so common" and "it's hard to catch like 3%" and "you catch it at any point" all in the same sentence. Its get very confusing when explaining to someone I have it. But I told my boyfriend that he can get it regardless but I will never sleep with him when I have an OB and he will use condoms for now. But when the time is right, my plan is for a baby and condoms will be no more. He is OK with that. I'm not yet but I'm sure in time I will be. It's just like I said before part and parcel of having sex and he could get it from his next partner that doesn't even know she has it. I do, I can protect him as much as possible (if he doesn't have it already) and I say that is a good thing. So herpes you can stay in my body, I can't do much about that. But u will not ruin me and I will carry on with a smile on my face! I hope this has helped anyone reading this. I also open to be educated on anything to expect and any natural healings I can do to prevent and help recover from future outbreaks Thank you for listening and thank you in advance for any help, my virtual H friends ✌❤
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