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Hi all, This forum keeps me sane, thank you for all being so brave for posting stories, feelings and concerns! This is my first proper post, so here goes... I have HSV1 genitally from an ex who gave it to me orally over 3.5 years ago. I had no idea this could happen. Anyways at the time it wasnt the worst thing in the world, I was actually pretty ok with it! It prob helped that the first 2 years I got very minor OBs every 6 months following the primary outbreak. We didnt use condoms and it wasn't ever on our minds because we were happy! Until then he randomly started drinking, locking me out and I found out he cheated on me, it was the strangest thing and I'll never understand. We then went through a horrible break up so I dont think this helped me with anxiety and stress... I was always so positive and optimistic until this time so anxiety was new to me and definitely overwhelmed me. Over the few months following this break up, the stress took its toll and I had regular outbreaks so i went to my hospital and got put on Acyclovir meds and took Lysine with advice from this site. (Thank you!) During 4 months after this, (2.5 years after being diagnosed) I disclosed/dated with meds+condoms with two people, it didnt stop me dating as I had confidence, but they didn't work out... and THEN I met the most amazing guy and we have been together nearly a year! Living together and have our future plans set! (There is a love life with someone H- after herpes, believe me!! never been happier!) He doesnt judge what I have, he knows the risks when it comes to everything, and was there for me when I went to a therapist for 10 sessions to help me accept what happened to me and move forward with my life again! Which i have 🙂 ((Side note, I found that after 6 months on Acyclovir just a couple of months into my new relationship that my hair was beginning to break, that I was becoming nauseous, achey and had strange prickly feelings in my legs and genitals. We decided together that I should stop the meds and instead use condoms.)) Anyways getting on to the main part of my post! Since then, in this 1 year period, I have only had 2 real OBs in this past year. The odd tingle but not true OB that I can physically see or usual OB cycle. We also agreed we want to be together long term and want to feel each other better so decided as I knew when I am on an OB and that I know my early sign symptoms we wouldn't use condoms (since about 5months ago). We have many very open honest conversations as much as I dont like talking about it (as I get embarassed) we know the risks, we know this means more likely transmission of 4% female to male, no meds or condoms etc. But he is happy to take that risk so we agreed to go ahead with nothing but me taking Lysine. Since then...my question is... how can "I" stop myself worrying about it STILL after each time we have sex, when after everytime we have sex I feel that maybe maybe maybe I feel the odd tingle! The past few months of feeling super confident that yes no condoms no meds, i know myself, sex has also left me feeling super frustrated. When I do feel confident, and we have sex, that tingle down there always makes me worry after.. we go not having sex for 2 weeks because I say No we better not just incase if I do feel concerned, and as I say also confident I've only had 2 OBs in the last year. We try again and then I worry again. Ive started to lose trust in my body over the last month with every time we have sex. The reason why I am posting is because Im worrying again! I guess its maybe my anxiety coming back playing with my mind that im not on meds or using condoms 😞 ? I find myself looking through conversations on this site every now and again trying to find answers to what I know are probably impossible questions... Does anyone else feel like this after sex? Anyone else not using condoms and meds with a H- partner? Has anyone had issues with Acyclovir like mine? I feel like the only thing we can do is go back to meds to help us enjoy sex still without condoms and to give me that peace of mind. The past 3 years I have known how my body works when it comes to OBs and trust it, but its always at the back of my mind now the past month or so, plus my boyfriend has been absolutely fine after each encounter the past few months. So why am i doing this... I really hope its not just me that questions everything I do when making mutual decisions with an incredibly accepting H- partner. Your thoughts, stories, etc are welcome please. It can't be just me struggling with my H- partner being so great and me still feeling concerned about his health/triple checking how I feel everytime. Thank you x
Hi, I started with symptoms of herpes on Sunday and although not yet had a positive test I feel broken at the thought. My husband and my partner both have absolutely no symptoms at all. Yes I sleep with both my husband and my boyfriend in a relationship dynamic not the norm but don't want judgement for that as we are 3 consenting adults who know our circle works. They have no signs of the virus and I have only slept with 3 people in my life unprotected and I'm 37. The other was my ex husband. I feel I have been responsible an not had one night stands or anything but still in this position. I know I'll probably never know for sure but some sites say you show symptoms 2 to 21 days others it can be dormant for years. We're all getting tested this week but not sure why I'm the only one showing signs of it. Is it because my immune system isn't as great? I have lupus so know one reason for blisters can be lupus too so not ruling that out either but feel distraught and not sure where to turn for true answers. It feels like the more I Google herpes the more confused I become. Any advice welcome.
No, that’s not the title of a C-rated horror flick. If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably Netflixed and chilled ... on a bag of peas. Wow. Where do I start? Is it a “Whodunnit”? Perhaps it’s a film with Oucho Marx. Levity, take me away! All jokes aside, this is my first outbreak (zombie outbreak mind you) and I was just diagnosed a few days ago with genital hsv-1. I’m still freaking out a bit. Let’s just say that less than a week ago I was 100% positive that this demon spawn of an OB (look at me with the lingo!) WAS NOT herrrrpeeeees. Like burpees, yet more hated. How did I get it? My husband unknowingly passed it onto to me via oral sex. He's has hsv-1 since he was a tot, but was just diagnosed after my symptoms.The answer is right there, but I still find myself asking myself in these early days, 'How, after all this time, did I, ME, catch this awful virus?' It must be punishment. (on bad day). It must be an opportunity (on a good day). During this whole ordeal, despite my not being able to walk sans pain, I have tried to focus on all I have going for me. I was not brutally murdered in a BART station. My dreamboat of a husband has my back (and my front) like none other. Good job, health insurance, blah blah blah. Can you go back? No time machines yet. Is it curable. None of the stuff Sam Inc. pumps out is. [Little conspiracy theory there for ya]. You good otherwise? Sure am! So it’s settled. This doesn’t define you and you may even be able to use this mf to spur much needed change. All that being said I would love to hear from folks who are far on the other side of their first horrid ghsv-1 outbreak and from those who contracted it while in monogamous relationships. We're already in marriage counseling so here's another topic of discussion for $165/hour. However, would rather not pack HSV into 50 minutes a week. We need to have healthy, open communication about status that we share. Advice, tips--most welcome. Thanks, all!