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This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. I’ve read a lot of your posts and I’m so inspired by all the strength I see. Right now all I feel is darkness and despair. I am all alone in Bali (traveling 3 months already and 2 more months to go) and feel my vagina changing tonight and expect the painful part to come any day. I am terrified, absolutely terrified. My friend said she would hardly walk or sit on a chair. How am I going to go through this alone in a foreign country with a 20kg back pack. I just want to hop a plane and go home tomorrow but my home life isn’t a comforting place either. I feel so alone and don’t know where to go or what to do. Yes I’ve been taking Valtrex and resting. I have support from friends on the phone but nothing makes me feel better. I will be honest I’ve contemplated suicide, I’m ashamed to say it, I know it’s ridiculous. I’m angry that the person who gave it to me knew he was in an active outbreak and I don’t have a time machine to go back. I feel like I’ve ruined my life with one bad decision. I’m sick, scared and alone, I don’t know what to do.
after I told a couple of close friends about it they were very supportive and were very sympathetic. but now a month later they started to hang out without me and lie about a lot of things so I confronted them about it. They said that they have been doing there "research" and they say that I am being careless and putting a risk into the friend group. They tell me that I am using my "disease for attention" and they are being so hurtful and I don't know what to do because I am scared that if I stand up for myself they will tell everyone I have herpes for revenge please help
I’ve only recently been diagnosed with ghsv2 this past February...and have been reading reading reading non-stop since. Most of what I’ve read has calmed me down EXCEPT when I comb this forum and find so many people experiencing MORE frequent and MORE severe OB’s as time goes on. It scares me! When I start to feel okay with wrapping my head around this diagnosis my mind starts “what-if-ing”. What if I’m one of those people who’s OB’s never stop? What if mine get worse and worse as time goes on? Its consumed my thoughts and life...I know I should be telling myself there’s nothing I can do and just live life but I’m curious as to what percentage of people actually get MORE ob’s as time goes on or is the norm that the virus calms down...? I’m currently on my second OB...I guess it’s the same as the first, one side...mild I’d say? Same spot as the first just without groin pain on the one side this time...I think the mark for this one is lasting longer than the first OB so my mind is going crazy. I haven’t told ANYONE about my diagnosis and do not plan to, so this is my only place to discuss what’s on my mind 😔 Any insights? Thank you ❤️
Okay, so this is my first post here and I’m really not sure where to dig in. I guess I’ll start with the fact that I’ve had HSV2 for a little over four years now. I contracted it from my boyfriend at 19 and we just decided it would be best to get married because neither of us could stomach the thought of having to date anyone new knowing that we were both “tainted,” so to speak. I’ve also been an avid cyclist since I was 16, and herpes throws one hell of a stick in your spokes, if you know what I mean. That’s a subject for another time though. On to my point here.. I just had my son last year (he’s about 14mo now) and I’m currently due to have my daughter in about a month! They’re close, I know. Definitely didn’t plan it that way, but here we are. Anywho, my husband is a boaty in the army and just left yesterday to sail to NC for a week and almost immediately upon his return will be sent back to NC for a two week SHARP class.... when I will be 37-38 weeks pregnant. I am located in VA, so at least he’ll only be so many hours away, but I’m already terrified that I will give myself another outbreak, as I just got over one about a week ago. My first couple years with the virus, I would often get back to back outbreaks. I’m taking valtrex daily, but my stress has reached a peak that scares me and it seems like a sort of vicious cycle since the amount of stress I have is adding to this fear of an outbreak and vice versa. I feel like I’m borderline abusive to my son when I’m stressed out (not physically, but I’m definitely a basket case sometimes). I feel like I can’t handle being a solo parent for a few weeks when I’m already so stressed about being pregnant in the first place. I don’t know what to do. I honestly had a legitimate mental breakdown earlier and screamed at the top of my lungs as an alternative to head butting the fuck out of a wall, which is oddly one of my preferred methods of self harm. Yet another subject for another time. I definitely had some expectations about the end of pregnancy and how I would manage stress, but all of that changed when I discovered that my last month will be spent almost entirely alone taking care of a one-year-old. I’m feeling crushed by the weight of everything and I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to have an outbreak sometime in the next month and be forced to have a c-section when the time comes.