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  1. I started dating a guy a few weeks ago. Earlier in the night, prior to having sex he confessed he had had a mouth sore and didn't know what it was so he consulted his dentist, who told him simply he has herpes. And then he added he doesn't have genital herpes. Later that night we started to have sex and I chickened out on my own status (HSV II - more details in other posts). It wasn't until a week later, when he was supposed to come visit me, that I finally was able to confess. But my question/issue isn't about the disclosing per se. It's after the fact. I told him he should go get tested immediately to confirm he doesn't already have it and then again later (whenever his doctor recommends, as it seems there are varying time frames to wait for the antibodies to build up). He resisted/denied my request for getting tested right away, claiming he had already been tested for EVERYTHING, including HSV. But now, a day later, I'm wondering why his story doesn't seem to jive. He claims he recently had a mysterious mouth sore, and that his dentist (visually) diagnosed it as herpes (more obivously type I). So how could he claim he was surprised by this recent symptoms/diagnosis, when he claims he had already been tested for it. He would've come up positive already for at least Type I, no? The mouth sore shouldn't have been a surprise to him, unless he was just making out with someone and somehow got it that way, I suppose. Either way, I'd like to insist he get tested right away, in addition to waiting later. That way we could be sure he doesn't already have it. MY MAIN QUESTION IS: Is that weird of me to ask/insist of him to take a test now? He seemed comfortable taking my word for it that my last test results came back negative for other STIs. But I'd be willing to take it again if he asked/insisted, in fact I plan to anyway. I'd just really like to clear that possibility out right away, so we won't have to wait unnecessarily another 45+ days for a diagnosis.
  2. Hello, I was recently diagnosed with HSV 2 by way of swab. My blood test came back negative. The last 2 times I had sex where a month prior to diagnosis and three months prior (February and December). I know there is no time table on being able to tell who infected you through the blood test but based on research I felt like I can rule out the guy I was with in December because 3-6 months (I know 3 months is right on the cusp so it's not guaranteed) after exposure was the general rule on blood testing. Should I get a blood test again in a month or 2?
  3. I have learned a lot about HSV2 since I contracted the virus by an asymptomatic partner who didn't know they had it. This is how roughly 70% of individuals get infected by the virus - from an asymptomatic person. How? By shedding. Even if there are no lesions or visible sores in the genital area, asymptomatic individuals are "shedding" the virus on their skin. And condoms DO NOT protect individuals from this shedding virus, since it presents on the skin, around the entire genital area. This isn't common knowledge, and I think this is a crucial factor of how the virus is unintentionally spread. Therefore, if this virus is inconspicuously transmitted - why does the medical community only "test" for herpes when individuals are experiencing symptoms? This seems counterintuitive and honestly an oversight of the clinicians who know the insidious nature of this virus. I have tried to find articles, research, literally anything that examines the idea of making HSV1 and 2 testing routine; but I have not been successful. I am aware of the arguments that claim routine testing for everyone would expose asymptomatic individuals and cause them emotional and psychological harm; however this logic doesn't hold up when the majority of individuals who infect others are asymptomatic at the time. I think the greater psychological harm is when uninfected individuals get their first outbreak and have to inform their asymptomatic partner of the damage they've unintentionally caused them. Both parties are then forced to face this new reality and the asymptomatic partner must come to terms with not only having the virus, but also implicating someone else without knowing. So while the medical community claims they're saving asymptomatic individuals from the truth now, this negligence has long term emotional and psychological effects for both them and their partner. Why aren't clinicians testing for HSV 1 and 2 when so many remain asymptomatic carriers? Why isn't this the status quo STI testing, alongside Chlamydia and Gonorrhea? I am also curious as to why sexual health and education doesn't inform individuals about the reality of shedding. If this was more "mainstream" knowledge, perhaps individuals would be more inclined to get tested (even if they are asymptomatic). Ultimately, I think the medical community has a lot of work to do in regards to improving the public's knowledge about herpes, as I believe it will ultimately counteract a lot of the stigma surrounding the disease.
  4. So, approximately three weeks ago, I had the bomb dropped on my life that I had tested positive for HSV-2. You can read the whole story in my initial post on the forum (https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/topic/8389-just-found-out-and-now-it-feels-like-everything-is-falling-apart/). But, suffice to say, my whole world crumbled. I lost the girl of my dreams and thought that my life was over. I left for a family vacation to Hawaii the day after all of this happened and could barely convince myself to get out of bed at times, unless it was to get a drink. Then, just the other day, another bomb was dropped into my life. I got a call from the clinic and they said that, apparently, an abnormal amount of labs from that day came back positive. They wanted me to come back in for another test, which I did immediately after receiving the call. I just got my results today and, as it turns out, I tested negative. I've never been so overjoyed along with simultaneously depressed and furious. My life has, to some extent, been inexorably altered because this lab completely f**ked up and took three weeks to figure it out. I can't change that my dream girl has moved on to someone else. I can't take back all the awkward and embarrassing phone calls and texts I had to make to exes. I can't take back the past three weeks of intense pain and depression. All of it has happened and I can't change any of it. I'm not writing this to give anyone unwarranted hope that their diagnosis may change. I'm just writing because I well understand the devastating effect that this news can have on someone's life. And I want to say that, even though I tested negative, I'm going to be keeping my account on this forum and am willing to be an ear, a shoulder, a friend... whatever y'all need. If you're in the SoCal/LA area and need someone to grab a beer with and just vent to, I'm here.
  5. Hi, I started with symptoms of herpes on Sunday and although not yet had a positive test I feel broken at the thought. My husband and my partner both have absolutely no symptoms at all. Yes I sleep with both my husband and my boyfriend in a relationship dynamic not the norm but don't want judgement for that as we are 3 consenting adults who know our circle works. They have no signs of the virus and I have only slept with 3 people in my life unprotected and I'm 37. The other was my ex husband. I feel I have been responsible an not had one night stands or anything but still in this position. I know I'll probably never know for sure but some sites say you show symptoms 2 to 21 days others it can be dormant for years. We're all getting tested this week but not sure why I'm the only one showing signs of it. Is it because my immune system isn't as great? I have lupus so know one reason for blisters can be lupus too so not ruling that out either but feel distraught and not sure where to turn for true answers. It feels like the more I Google herpes the more confused I become. Any advice welcome.
  6. Hey All... I think it's about time that I try and find an actual doctor to go to on the regular. I've got a really solid urgent care that's walking distance from me, but especially now, I feel like I should be going to someone who knows what I have going on and can really get to know me better. Any recommendations on how to even go about this? I'm looking at my insurance provider's website as well as the website of the hospital near me that I'm a huge fan of and doing some cross referencing. But, I don't really know where to go from here.
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