Since herpes diagnosis I have not been the same sexually

[MarieH]

     So I got DX with G and O HSV1 last October.   For the most part I have moved past shame/self disgust (when I have an OB it may come back alittle but not bad, my reaction both physically and mentally were very bad at first exposure. I got very sick, got various virus related problems including tonsillitis. I also was too depressed to eat much for a few weeks, I lost way too much weight along with panic attacks). All of these has resolved, I'm a muscle bound, bouncy bad ass again! but..... I have no been the same sexually at all since. Before when I was "clean" I was pretty much a freak with a high sex drive and now I have a much lower sex drive, and I'm weird about being kissed even.

     I have been with two people since I have been DX who did not care about HSV. But I still felt pressured when before I would been flattered. I don't even like dirty jokes anymore when I used to the queen of dirty jokes.  Has anyone experienced this? It almost feels like I'm traumatized which I didn't think was unusual at first because it was so new. In this case it has been 9 months since I have gotten this, why am I still like this? 

     It's really making dating hard. I have ruined a few things with people because I'm so skittish. I have talked to friends who have been molested and they had previously described feeling this way...but the thing is I have never been raped/molested. The only thing that happened is a got an STD. So what the hell? I barely see myself as a sexual being anymore.      

#disconnected #don'ttouch  

[Tk2019]

I don't have much of a sex drive anymore either. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in Februrary and I was scared to have sex for months. I think a lot of it had to do with the person who gave it to me ghosting me immediately after. I'd never been treated like that before so it definitely added insult to injury. I've since gotten into a new relationship with the greatest guy and I feel like there's no sexual chemistry. I know that's 100% on my part. I was sexually abused as a very small child so I've always been a little skittish about being intimate anyway but never to the point where I don't want sex at all. I'm hoping this feeling will pass. Otherwise I have no words of encouragement except that I've been feeling the exact same way.

[MarieH]

yeah I just was hoping the feeling would pass. the person who gave me mine LAUGHED AT ME.  he knew he had it and said something along the lines of "well you fucked me". i asked him alot of questions prior to the act and even asked him to get tested. he couldn't bc he didn't have medical coverage he said, i used protection.   

 

[MarieH]

have you shared how you feel with your SO. I think talking openly about it will help. He/she will know when to give you space physically. understand that your not saying no bc it has to do with them. 

[Tk2019]

8 hours ago, MarieH said:

yeah I just was hoping the feeling would pass. the person who gave me mine LAUGHED AT ME.  he knew he had it and said something along the lines of "well you fucked me". i asked him alot of questions prior to the act and even asked him to get tested. he couldn't bc he didn't have medical coverage he said, i used protection.   

 

Damn that sucks. The person who gave it to me ghosted me entirely. His blood test came back negative so he swore he didn't give it to me. I later reached out to him to let him know that mine also came back negative which means we both acquired it recently. I hadn't been with anyone else in months so I know it was him. He had nothing to say. People can be really shitty.

[Tk2019]

8 hours ago, MarieH said:

have you shared how you feel with your SO. I think talking openly about it will help. He/she will know when to give you space physically. understand that your not saying no bc it has to do with them. 

I disclosed to him before we had sex how the last person infected me and then ghosted me. He wasn't fazed by it but I don't think he understands the emotional impact it had on me. Either way he doesn't pressure me physically when he can tell I'm not into it. He's good people.

[UnluckyMan]

On 7/10/2019 at 10:33 PM, Tk2019 said:

Damn that sucks. The person who gave it to me ghosted me entirely. His blood test came back negative so he swore he didn't give it to me. I later reached out to him to let him know that mine also came back negative which means we both acquired it recently. I hadn't been with anyone else in months so I know it was him. He had nothing to say. People can be really shitty.

Did your blood test ever turn positive?

[makepeacewithit]

I've been dealing with a lot of the same things. Sex isn't the same for me. While I feel like I've moved past the shame and disgust with my situation, I can't enjoy sex thoroughly, I feel very distracted by thoughts of transmission, and lots of frustration that my former self seems dead to me. I've had good sexual experiences and bad since beginning my journey with H (GHSV-1) but I've not had orgasms and I've not felt safe. 

[Tk2019]

18 hours ago, UnluckyMan said:

Did your blood test ever turn positive?

I haven't taken another one. I don't have insurance and don't really see the point since my culture was positive. I did try to stop taking acyclovir and had another breakout within the week which tells me my body hasn't built up antibodies. 

[Cwgrl100]

SAME!