Shaming people who bounce after disclosure.

[Disgusted]

Why do so many people do this? I get the need to be accepted but it doesn't  make it right. Nobody is obligated  to risk their health for you. It doesn't make them an asshole  to decide they don't  want to risk it.

[hazeleyes44]

I hate the phrase “risk your health” it sounds like you are asking someone to put themselves in a life or death situation which in this instance couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t think anyone should be shamed for not wanting to engage with a person who has hsv. I believe where the frustration comes in is that a lot of the times the people who “bounce” as you put it, do so because they are uneducated about the virus and believe the stigma. To walk away from casual sex is one thing but to walk away from a meaningful relationship that could make you happy for the rest of your life is ridiculous. 

[Tk2019]

I have yet to be rejected after disclosing except for the person who gave it to me (THAT was shitty) but I wouldn't have blamed them a bit for bouncing. If I could go back in time and not go home with my giver I would do it in a heartbeat. 

[Disgusted]

10 hours ago, hazeleyes44 said:

I hate the phrase “risk your health” it sounds like you are asking someone to put themselves in a life or death situation which in this instance couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t think anyone should be shamed for not wanting to engage with a person who has hsv. I believe where the frustration comes in is that a lot of the times the people who “bounce” as you put it, do so because they are uneducated about the virus and believe the stigma. To walk away from casual sex is one thing but to walk away from a meaningful relationship that could make you happy for the rest of your life is ridiculous. 

Yes. It is putting your health at risk. Herpes is a disease. 

[hazeleyes44]

2 hours ago, Disgusted said:

Yes. It is putting your health at risk. Herpes is a disease. 

I agree it’s a disease, I just don’t like that phrase because it makes it seem a lot worse than it actually is (for most people). 

[100918]

If someone, as you put it, bounces after being disclosed to, I would not fault them for that...where I will shame someone is their reaction and how they treat a person after being disclosed to. If the person is a total dick about it, then yes, I will call them what they are...an asshole (male or female). If they are kind but let you know that they are not comfortable with the potential to being exposed, that's great. Like anything else in life, it's all in the delivery.

If someone doesn't like a dinner I make, I am cool if they say they don't prefer it or wouldn't like to have it again. Tell me it's a disgusting plate of slop and I might just punch you in the throat.

[Natalia1]

On 7/7/2019 at 3:25 PM, Disgusted said:

Why do so many people do this? I get the need to be accepted but it doesn't  make it right. Nobody is obligated  to risk their health for you. It doesn't make them an asshole  to decide they don't  want to risk it.

It's ok , just tell me that instead of disappearing.Many hours that I spend with a guy was not about sex . Talk,walk , eat . movies . I would be ok not having sex with him but remain social .Instead he dumped me like a piece of trash