Forgiveness?

[Kat15]

Hi everyone,

I got diagnosed a year ago with HSV2 genital and even though it's been a year since my diagnosis I'm still struggling with the fact that I have this and there's nothing I can do about it. I was always the type of person who cared about my health, probably too much, I would always go get checkups and get tested twice a year. Even if I had slight cold symptoms I would go to the doctor. I take my health very seriously. I was never (and I'm still not) the person to have one night stands and I honestly still can't believe this happened to me. Anyway, I'm looking to forgive not only the person who gave this to me but also I need to forgive myself. Last year I got back with my ex who I had been apart from for 6 months and based on the times I got tested I'm almost 99% sure he's the one who gave it to me. He got tested as well and it came back positive. He didn't know he had it but when we were apart I found out he had unprotected sex with someone,  I found this out after we had gotten back together and had sex. He assured me he was clean and the person he was with was clean (despite not getting tested) because he had never had any symptoms of an outbreak and he told me he used a condom, even though later on I found out he didn't. He has apologized to me numerous times and deep down I know he's sorry but that still doesn't change the fact that he lied to me and I'm stuck with this horrible disease. I feel so stupid and naive and I really let my love for him cloud my judgement. I take an antiviral daily but I still get an outbreak once a month around my period and lately I've even getting outbreaks on my upper and inner thighs. I almost feel like it's getting worse, I don't know if that's possible. If it was an "out of sight, out of mind" situation it might be easier to get over but since I'm getting outbreaks monthly I'm constantly reminded that I have to live with this because there's no cure. How do I get past this and really forgive myself?

[MarieH]

14 hours ago, Kat15 said:

 

Im working on that myself. Lexapo is going to help soon. It's because of herpies that I'm going to need to go on it I think

[Sydney]

@Kat15 I think maybe going to talk to a therapist might help. Self love is extremely important and even more so when things in life like this happens. Read the subtle art of not giving a fck by mark Manson. There truly is worse things in life. Cancer, when we lose loved ones or an unexpected death of a friend etc..you get my point. Almost half or 1 out 2 folks have HSV1 and 1 out of 6 have HSV2. Try not to let yourself get lost in devastation. Life is full of experiences, good and bad. What matters most is how we respond. 🙏🏻❤