Herpes dating sites

[TaintedLove]

Have any one you guys ever use a HSV dating site? And found someone? I’m on 2 but I’m scared to show my face. 🤦🏾‍♀️  And I don’t have any success either.I think I’m going to finally upload a picture. I finally came to the realization that if your on the site you have it too. I  just don’t want my business out there. I live a small miserable city that’s loves to gossip. I just don’t want to go through with being rejected again 😔😔😔.  Wish me luck guys!!!! 🙂🙃

[makepeacewithit]

I have tried Positive Singles but had limited success because using the free version. The only two connections I made on the site were both men who were brave enough to post a photo (I'm a woman and I didn't post a photo publicly but had a private album), I think posting a photo is brave and will definitely encourage people to reach out. The connections I made didn't lead to romance, but I'm still friends with both several years later. But the site was frustrating to use in its free format and the number of active listings in my area was low, so I stopped trying.

Last year I found a way I could use OkCupid to be a little more deliberate about seeking out others who either have my virus or are open-minded about it, I used the match questions to refine my searches to people who seemed smart or open, and to broach the subject if I talked with or met someone through the site. Their match questions include just a few on the matter: one about dating someone with cold sores (I have the HSV-1 virus, so this one is pertinent to me, but also is an indicator about how educated and open someone is), another one about dating someone with genital herpes, and a third one that is just about whether you'd date someone who disclosed they had an STD. Not many people actually answer these questions, and truthfully most just give a flat no (so I don't contact those people, and if they contact me it gives me something to talk to them about), but I do occasionally find someone that answers the questions positively and smartly, which is encouraging. It's still slim pickings, though. I've been considering trying to be more open about it, saying that I have the virus and seeing if that helps people to find Me.

Recently I joined several FB Herpes support groups in my area, one for my city and one for my state. Those groups are not exactly dating groups, but it's clear that many people use them for that. They have meet-ups and do social things, as well as provide an outlet for goofiness and discussions. I use an alternative account I created because I feel the same as you, I don't want my business out there, and as a woman I feel very cautious about how easily someone could track me down, but most people are using their regular accounts because the groups are "private," making them almost a secret because they are not listed openly. You usually need a person who is in the groups to get you in touch with the moderators, and that might be a good reason to reach out to people on the HSV dating sites, to make some local friends who could help you find the secret groups. That's how it happened for me, in fact!

[hazeleyes44]

I’m going to respectfully disagree with the opinion on using HSV dating sites, meet ups, Facebook, etc.  All that does is perpetuate the stigma that this is some awful disease and that you have to date within your own species and seek out another HSV person to get a date. 

I get it, rejection sucks, I’ve been there but I’m not going to treat myself any differently and limit my prospects. 

[Cheer123]

I am on two as well, I'm actually meeting up with someone tomorrow that I found on the site. I keep my pictures private so I have to approve who can see my pictures. Does your site have this option? I have had the most success with the positive singles site. 🙂

[mr_hopp]

I'm with @hazeleyes44 100%. By segregating ourselves to herpes-only dating, we are in fact pre-rejecting ourselves from 98% or so of the general population. Here's an article I wrote on the subject that puts it in perspective: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-dating-sites

[Chrissy_]

I used to use Tinder and honestly my strategy was to find someone who was genuinely interested in me and a long term relationship. If I could tell they just wanted a hook up then I wouldn’t bother proceeding. Once I found someone who genuinely wanted a relationship and appeared open minded then I confronted them about the issue a few weeks later. I try to tell my potential partners a little after they’ve met me and got to know me so I don’t freak them out I guess. 

[makepeacewithit]

I agree with the others about not excluding ourselves from the general dating population, but I did want to share my experiences of using the positive dating sites since that was the question.  I will add to my previous comments that, despite wishing to find a match who shares my virus, so far in my dating experiences the only Truly Successful Match I've had is with someone who doesn't know his status but was strongly interested in EVERYTHING ELSE that I offer. HSV is not always a dealbreaker, and if it is a dealbreaker to someone you meet you can be grateful that the virus helped you weed out someone who isn't right for you. If you are dating in a way where you are looking for a relationship and not for hook-ups you shouldn't present your status as the first thing someone needs to know about you. If you are just looking for hook-ups, I think sticking to the herpes community makes good sense.

I will admit, though, that I am hopeful that someday I will match with someone who does share my status, because my fearfulness about transmission has been very difficult to deal with and I'd like to imagine someday I won't have to worry endlessly about it!