Jump to content
  • Need support? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum, a supportive and positive group of people to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have ... 


Still with the person who gave it to me and need advice

Recommended Posts

I just discovered this community yesterday and am so thankful I did. I was diagnosed with hsv2 1.5 years ago. I was in a brand new relationship that I really saw turning into something serious. Because of the trust and immediate connection we had, we started having sex about a month into our relationship and never used a condom. I started experiencing symptoms less than a week after my unprotected exposure to him and never experienced anything like it before, so my doctor is pretty confident that I got it from him. I was terrified to tell him because our relationship was so new and I didn’t want it to change anything but he handled the news SO well, got tested, and found out he had it too, so it’s likely he had it all along and never knew. 


Flashforward, we are still together a year and a half later and are living together. We talk about marriage, kids, our future, etc., but I’d say about  3 months ago I started developing serious doubts that he was my forever person. We just aren’t as compatible as I thought, and so many things he does or says just gets under my skin. I need to decide if I’m only staying in this relationship because it’s “safe” and I don’t have to disclose my status to anyone new, or, if I actually love him and am just in a rut/psych-ing myself out. It’s the chicken or the egg problem if you’re familiar with that analogy! I often have feelings of resentment towards him and think about what my life would be like if we never met and this unlucky thing didn’t happen to me.

id love to hear from anyone who was in similar shoes and stayed with the person who gave it to them out of fear of the alternative (breaking up and facing dating again with your new status). I am seeing a therapist but I am so terrified of rejection and am trying to work on forgiving myself. I know I deserve to be with someone who is a perfect fit for me, but I don’t know if he is that person or not. 

Share this post

Link to post

Would love to hear what you ended up doing and how it all worked out. I am in exact situation and am so anxious about it!

Share this post

Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


    How can having "the talk" actually create MORE intimacy & connection?

    Download your free e-book + handouts now

    In support,


    Ready for one-on-one coaching support?

    If you're ready to transform your shame into resiliency (and you're ready to do the work), I can help. Find more information about coaching here: http://adriallifecoaching.com

    In support,

  • Create New...