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Alena

What do I do?

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So here it goes y’all. A few weeks ago my boyfriend (of about a month at the time) and I broke up due to distance. We were broken up for almost 2 weeks. During that period that we were broken up, I had sex with like 3 different people. I know (what a slut), right? Lol! Nah. But, I was sad and I got under other people to get over him. I thought we would never get back together and my own horrible control issues drove me to slam the door on any hope for the relationship in the future. I was mad that I couldn’t have what I wanted at the time I wanted and in the distance I wanted. To my surprise, he calls me up and wants to get back together. He wants to make the effort for me. He wants to drive up and see me once a week. This sounded like a dream come true to me so, of course, I said yes. I was happy that we pushed past our distance issues to be there for each other. A week into being back together, we have sex for the first time. And literally 5 days later, my genital herpes sores pop up! And a day after that, my throat is painful and I’ve got it in the back of my throat too! After a painful ER visit, all of this was confirmed and now I’m so freakin confused. I told my boyfriend I have it. I did not tell him I had sex while we were broken up. I don’t know who gave it to me because it literally could be anyone at this point and I feel awful for not telling my boyfriend about my flings but I also feel like it’s not his business what I did when we weren’t together. I did not cheat on him. He got tested today but it is likely he will come back clean because he does not have symptoms. It does not mean he does not have it. He could be a carrier. He will have to wait to see symptoms or maybe he will never see them. Herpes can be passed even when people don’t know they have it. I don’t know what the hell to do?? I don’t want to keep anything from him but I’m terrified he will judge me for my hookups and I also fear that by telling him, he will automatically rule himself out as the one who gave it to me which he definitely should not do. He does not know if he has it and he’s never had an outbreak (that I know of) but he has had a past of sexual behavior just as I have and he could be the one that transmitted. I just have a crappy immune system which is why my outbreak hit me so hard. I’m very conflicted and confused and I need feedback! 

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More than likely one of your flings gave it to you because you posted this story somewhere else & said you haven’t had sex with your boyfriend in MONTHS. The fact 2 weeks went by & you had an outbreak, simply shows it was during that break. Roll with the punches. As he do research, he’ll eventually ask & or ponder if you slept with others. Also, it technically is his business what you do since y’all are sexual partners & more close than the flings. You put his health at risk with that mindset. That’s like whoever was the carrier saying oh it’s not her business i have herpes because she’s just a fling. So with that said, I don’t see where the confusion is. Only advice: You told him you have herpes, so let that be that & stop overthinking & worrying. Find supplements to build your immune system. Good luck

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