Herpes is ruining my life

[DAO21]

I am a 21 year old Male from London, to the outside world everything is going great, im relatively athletic and attend a great medical school,  which makes the sting of having herpes all the more bitter, I was supposed to know better. 

My first outbreak was in May of this year, it was very severe and took months to clear entirely. I am currently experiencing my second outbreak which is much less severe but still consists of 5 burst blisters which show no signs of healing.

Prior to contracting herpes I always struggled with depression and low mood, however in the last few months things have taken a turn for the worse and i will admit I never go a day without contemplating suicide. I have not told anybody about this, and have not visited a doctor as I cannot bring myself to do it. The idea of disclosing to a partner terrifies me, not because they would know, but because if it spread around my university it is not something I could deal with.

As i write this I will admit I am unsure what I hope to gain, I guess it would be nice to just not feel so alone. Would be nice to find someone in a similar position to me to chat too as well.

[Stunnedbythis]

So how are you doing now 

[Forgetmenot06]

Please, go to a doctor. It will help with your outbreaks, I’m on Valtrex with outbreaks. It helps. I’m 41, I work for the State of Alaska and am well known in my small town. I can relate with being afraid of people finding out. I have my second outbreak right now, first was in November. I feel pretty down about this, though my sister and best friend also have it, it doesn’t take away from me processing it. I disclosed to my boyfriend with my first outbreak and he was completely supportive. I’m here to hopefully feel less alone. Be honest with partners, they will respect you for that.