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DoHope35

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Hi Everyone,

Ive been diagnosed with HSV-1 & HSV-2 for over a year now and I have just got back into the dating scene. I took most of the year clearing my mind, educating myself and wrapping my head around how to live with this and continue my life. 

I met this guy. He’s African American, I don’t know if that matters but we had a couple drinks and became sexual. I feel awful now because I didn’t tell him before him that I have a virus named herpes. 

How do you disclose? What do you say? How do you say it? I really need tips.

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Have you seen or talked to him since? It looks like no one responded to your post. There is a lot of information in this site about disclosing. Read through the forums to get an idea of how to do it. 

As far as I know, I dont have herpes. I joined the site after I had a guy disclose to me. I'm still seeing him and I'm still on this site. I dont think I've contracted the virus, but I've learned so much here I feel I understand the risks. You'll meet someone who is accepting. It's so important though to be honest and tell them. I appreciated his honesty with me so much and saw how hard disclosure was, I cant imagine him not being honest with other issues moving forward. I feel disclosing shows a lot about a person and if anyone rejects you at that point let them go. 

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Hi VhYolo,

I have to talked to him everyday since and tomorrow will make a month having conversation. I haven’t disclosed to him as we only became sexual that one time, however if he /we decide we want to be sexual again, I have found a comfortable way to disclose.

This is what I plan on saying: “ I was exposed to a versus that cause me to have a skin condition. The medical term is HSV but it is also called herpes. I take medication for it everyday and since I’ve been exposed  i haven’t exposed anyone else and I would not like to expose you either.” 

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We had sex, but I do not think I exposed him to anything. I just want to have the conversation with him face to face versus through text. He is coming over tomorrow.

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Yes, I do. Is that the same as valacyclovir. If I may ask how is that different from any other suppressive therapy with exposure?

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i'm not a doctor but I would say it's about the same. if you read in the posts. Adrail (Mr_Hop) takes suppressive pills and he says he hasn't infected his wife. just my opinion but I would disclose my condition. he might be understanding. everyone your sexually involved in should know. but that's just my opinion.

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Sarahsfocus, not sure if you read any previous messages but he is coming over today and I said I am going to tell him today because I rather do it face to face.

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There seems to be some confusion here about the words expose and contract.

In the wording you said you were going to use, you used the word exposed instead of contracted. 

You've already exposed him when you had sex. You were exposed to the virus and you also contracted it. 

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