Just had first break out ,1000 questions about my future

[Jpatrick]

I found it difficult to get straight answers from anybody but I just had my first break out and trying to see what my future looks like if there is one what do I need to know about living with HSV two other than wrap it up. If I can find a partner With hsv2 what would be the advantage?Can I go down on a girl with HSV are those days over likewise can someone go down on me as long as there’s no outbreak? What kind of daily meds do you take?

[DoesntDefineMe]

@mr_hopp I have similar questions to the ones asked above. Would you be able to provide some information for these questions? 😊

i would also like to add to the questions on what if your partner is HSV2- ? What activities with a partner should be avoided?

[100918]

The advantage of being with someone who already has HSV2 is that you cannot spread it to them again. They already have it, so no worries.

As far as oral, my boyfriend is HSV-negative and we love oral. If you are recently diagnosed, you will probably want to be on suppressive meds, and be aware that you can still shed the virus to someone even if you have no symptoms. That is true no matter how long you've had it. And, if you have symptoms, then you should definitely avoid sex (including oral) until your outbreak is over.

You need to be sure to disclose to all partners so that they can make an informed choice about having sexual relations with you. When I disclosed to my boyfriend, he was very clear that he did not care about HSV at all...that it was a non-issue. We've been together for close to a year now. We have a great sex life and he remains negative for HSV.

It is very possible to have a great sex life...just be responsible, disclose, and discuss with your partner the precautions that you are both comfortable with taking (or not taking). 

[Jpatrick]

Thank you so much for sharing. I was diagnosed just a few days before shipping out. I was given a 10 day supply of meds which seem effective of clearing my first outbreak up. I’m scared to death I will have another one before I am able to get suppressive meds. If you don’t mind me asking how Has this affected your life? Without meds and with meds how often can I expect an outbreak? From what I’ve gathered suppressive meds help keeps it from spreading as well as having an outbreak. I’m assuming as long as you have meds it’s not necessary meaning your life is over or even life changing other than the embarrassment of having to share the information with a new partner. Am I close?

[DoesntDefineMe]

I haven’t take medication at all since being diagnosed in January. I have not had another outbreak since my first. I think as long as you keep yourself healthy and try not to stress then you may be ok. But if you are planning on being sexually active-I would suggest being on medication to lower the risk of transmission to your partner. 

[Jpatrick]

That’s good news. Thank you for sharing. Is stress a major contributor? I try to keep a regular exercise routine, personal hygiene of course. But going through a divorce and fighting for my children has increasingly added stress levels to an all new high.

[DoesntDefineMe]

I have read a lot that stress is a trigger for outbreaks. I am going through a divorce with a child involved as well so I know how stressful that can be. I have just been running/eating healthy/surrounding myself with friends in order to keep my stress levels down as much as I can. You just have to do what works best for you! 

[Kacey]

4 hours ago, DoesntDefineMe said:

I haven’t take medication at all since being diagnosed in January. I have not had another outbreak since my first. I think as long as you keep yourself healthy and try not to stress then you may be ok. But if you are planning on being sexually active-I would suggest being on medication to lower the risk of transmission to your partner. 

Have you had sex since you found out? I am afraid to do it.

[DoesntDefineMe]

@Kacey no I have not. I am nervous as well. I’m still unsure with all the do’s and don’ts with having sex. I haven’t been in a rush to meet anyone but when I do I want to make sure when it comes time for that- that I am fully informed to keep my partner safe and so hopefully I can still enjoy it like I used to. 

[Jpatrick]

I haven’t had the opportunity. Once I jump ship I plan on reuniting with the one who passed it on to me but was wanting some more details as well. She has been placed on suppressive meds which I hope to as well. I just started a new job and am therefore without insurance for another month or two hence the fear of having another outbreak or flare up as the call it. Seems as if your on suppressive meds it’s not so common to pass it on. I guess my greatest fear is getting herpes on the mouth from oral as of having below wasn’t bad enough. Seems late in the game to learn with multiple partners it’s best to use protection so that when you do find your match you don’t have to.

[Jpatrick]

Having that topic conversation before sex with a date..... talking about anxiety. I can’t even imagine how that plays out. Talking about killing the mood.

[DoesntDefineMe]

Yeah I have been on dates but have found that I am more picky on who I want to continue seeing because of having to share this information with them, which I guess isn’t necessarily a bad thing lol. I don’t want to just tell anyone. 

I have read in Westover Heights that after a period of time of having HSV, you build antibodies so it would prevent transmitting to other areas of your body (for example: your mouth). 

[Jpatrick]

I’m wondering what that time span is.

It seems that HSV without suppressive meds can be what it is made out to be but with the suppressive meds everything’s OK as if you never had it. I guess it wouldn’t be fair to not tell your partner but at the same time if it’s a one night stand and your own meds and using protection.... I don’t know. I just know I’m not looking forward to it.

I connected with an amazing woman on tinder a while back and we were speaking every day for almost a month while I was at sea and I was so excited to actually meet her when I got home and then right before I was coming home she drop the news that she had HSV I didn’t even know what it was I had to Google it. I was under the impression that oral wouldnt even be in the question and I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship where I couldn’t enjoy that so I chose not to meet. The irony of that. Now I’d love nothing more Feeling I guess we can Share it. 
when I first got diagnosed the nurse told me that it wasn’t the end of the world I certainly felt differently at the time.

I guess we’ll see as time goes

[Anonymous88]

Hi all,I have had hsv2 for 2 years in March. I am on suppressive therapy & I can confidently say that I haven't had an outbreak since being on it. I met a guy who hasn't got hsv and it will be coming u0 to a year very soon. I was open about it before becoming intimate with him & it hasn't made a difference to our relationship in the slightest whether I have hsv or not. It was also his decision after a while to not use condoms (I'm on the contraceptive pill) we have a very healthy sex life with lots of oral sex and he hasn't been passed the virus at all. Don't know how I would feel to come off acyclivor but for me suppressive therapy has helped hugely with taking away worries and anxiety of transmitting it and experiencing a painful outbreak. Hope this helps!

[Jpatrick]

Absolutely! Thank you so much for sharing!