Instant punch in the stomach ..

[AshleyS]

The last 5 months have been such a HUGE roller coaster .. but all in all, I've had such an amazing support system . When I found out I had HSV-2, I thought my entire world ended . Telling my boyfriend (now ex) that I was just diagnosed with this after we had the STD talk, was frightening . But things went great, he infected me, and couldn't really hold anything against me . We were going to be okay .. But it all ended a little over a month later . He cheated on me, quite a bit too . I don't understand how you can alter someone's life so drastically and still continue to hurt them when they were so understanding and forgiving . Well, even though our relationship ended, we still slept together . I couldn't even think about being with someone else, putting them at risk just didn't sit well with me . No way I can ever put someone through what I went through . It's just NOT okay . Things changed when I started seeing someone else . Just getting to know this new person, not rushing .. It still bothered me that my ex was texting me from time to time, and acting like nothing happened . Well needless to say, the other person was a Stage 5 clinger, so I ended it right then and there . Thank god I didn't disclose anything, that would not have been good for my nerves . Well, after I slammed the breaks on that dating experience, my ex and I started talking again . I ran into him at the bar, and that flame was instantly lit . All the memories (which were painful to remember) came back full force, and I ended up crying myself to sleep that night . I still can't wrap my head around what he did . It just isn't fair that he completely changed my life and has no remorse what so ever . Well, the following Monday, he texted me . We planned on getting together . We ended up getting into a huge fight because he refuses to take any responsibility for our relationship going south .. Real mature of him . Then I found out he's in a new relationship with an 18 year old girl . Talk about instant punch in the stomach . I froze, my blood boiled . My poor friend tried everything in her power to calm me down . Instead of exploding, I imploded .. Made a complete ass out of myself .. He texted me to see what I did that night .. When I got to work that night, my co-worker and I were talking about my night .. Around midnight we cut one of the servers because we were dead .. I walk over to her section, and low and behold, he's sitting at one of her tables, with a girl that was NOT his girlfriend . And 4 am the next morning, who did he text ?? Me . What a low life piece of work !! I can't believe he's already into his old ways not even a day after they get together . I feel bad . This poor girl is going to get crushed when she finds out how big of a cheated he is .. And what's even worse, if they sleep together, he's putting her at risk like he did me .. I'm not sure I can live with myself if he hurts anyone else . But do I tell her ? Is it my duty to inform his new girlfriends ? No one informed me .. Everyone left me hanging, but I'm not sure I can just let that happen to her . But then again, how do I tell her without her freaking out on me . She's already got enough on her plate, she doesn't need this happening to her .. But then again, I'm not sure it's my place ..

 

I'm still crushed that he, once again got inside and hurt me, but it's no one else's fault but my own ..

[lelani]

Isn't it so hard to go through all this shit...and it's not fault, it's just what we need to go through to learn. It's hared to let go of someone and we keep letting them in until we realise they really aren't good for us and we want better than that...and when we are strong enough to do it we can cut the ties.

 

About telling her...it really is her responsibility to have the talk with him and then make her own decision, in saying that when I left my ex and we did the back and forth thing not being able to let go...I arranged for a counselling session with his mistress there - and told her then. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't inform her, because i had contracted HPV from him and didn't want some other woman (even though she was his mistress and he was still married to me) to go through the same thing.

 

It's all about your intention and doing it kindly if you are going to inform someone. The woman I told came back to me about 10 years later (I went back to my ex and worked through it) and aplologised for her interference in my marriage and thanked me for being so kind through it all...blew me away. She had been in a bad space at the time and the result was getting involved with my husband.

 

Most people probably wouldn't tell...I did and not only did it give me my power back, she got hers back too. Good luck, it's not easy. He doesn't deserve either of you.

[lelani]

Oh and you are right....not a good idea to make drunk calls or texts lol...stay off the alcohol :-)