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Falling for someone at work

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Hi all,

I have been at this job for 5 months, my dream job and I’m super successful. I broke up with my bf we stayed together for 4 years. And he loved me unconditionally, unfortunately his lack of maturity and some personality traits of his made me question the relationship for 2 years. I’m 26 and want to find true love. 

I have only disclosed to 2 guys and both completely accepted and loved me. 
I am falling for this guy at work, he is super into me and gets excited and nervous around me. He is everything I want in a man. He is handsome, successful, a gentleman, warm, funny, intelligent, kind and I like how our convserstions flow. He is 32 years old, perhaps a bit immature at times...

He was into me since the first day...even though he knew I had a bf. Now he knows we broke up and he wants to hang out and get to know me.

I am truly mortified that if I ever tell him and he rejects me...I’ll have to see him everyday and will be paranoid that he tells friends at work.

how can I possibly know if he would accept me with my luggage ? I am thinking of waiting a full year of getting to know each other as friends and see how it goes...perhaps we stop liking each other and never reach the talk moment. I know work romance is a bad idea, but I can’t help but think he would make a great husband and father. I am super terrified, please convince me I shouldn’t date a coworker. I’m a hopeless romantic and can’t stop thinking about him. Should I not go on dates with him? I can tell he loves my personality and confidence. But how can I know for sure he would accept me like my previous partners? 

can someone fall madly in love with me and still reject me because of a stupid skin condition? I keep telling myself no. My friends support me and tell me it’s impossible if he loves me bla bla. 

what do you all think? I need love and support.

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Sounds like self-sabatoge! You seem like you know you’re worth and have tangible proof (you’re last two relationships) that H doesn’t define you...but now doubting yourself because you met a man who is just as much with it as you??? Makes no sense to me. GO FOR IT! If he rejects you then you will know it was meant to be. You may be pleasantly surprised, but you won’t be if you let fear and self-doubt rule.

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Dating someone you work with is a bad idea on SOOOO many levels. 

I vote for being friendly, getting to know each other, and if you are still into him in a year, find a new job and then you can date.

This is my advice whether someone has HSV or not...

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I understand your advice...I will keep him at a distance as friends and see how things go. I don’t want to change jobs, not now. 
only if i ever see ir feel a super great connection..and after a year and a half of him chasing me... I may tell him. Mi am looking for my future husband...so I need to choose my next partner carefully. We must be friends a long time first. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am in the same situation as you right now, I disclosed and he was so amazing and now we have spent every night together. We were friends before, still friends now and if we decide we want more we can be adults and decide that. I say go for it! Work is normal as always! We both are keeping it on the low from our co-workers & right now that’s working perfect!

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  • 2 months later...

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