Needing love advice and encouragement

[Strawberrygirl]

I broke up with my ex after 4 years of relationship. It was the toughest decision ever. He loves me unconditionally. He is kind, handsome, caring a wonderful guy in general. For 2 years I had been having doubts as I thought he was a bit stuck in life, a bit selfish and immature. I felt like our conversations didn’t flow very well. 
Now that I am single I feel like my whole stability and structure is broken. I find it difficult to believe I will find a man that I truly fall in love with. This has nothing to do with herpes. 
A lot of men are interested in me always. As a matter of fact a lot of guys at work chase me. I was falling for someone but now I’m realizing he is immature, impulsive and too much of a risk. My mom who is extremely psychic and has visions has felt that with this guy something would go wrong down the road...and that I would end up quitting and losing my job. I 100% believe as all her gut feelings have always been right. 
I need someone to tell me about your true love connections and experiences...I just can’t imagine meeting someone else. And feel lonely and disheartened. 
All I want in life is to find true love, fall madly in love with each other, get married and have children. 
I know that I have to work in myself first. I’m only 26 years old. Herpes is a kit scary but I’ve told 2 guys and both were okay with it and accepted. I know someone who loves me for me won’t care one bit about this. 
but how can I believe there is someone out there for me? What if I’m not lucky enough to meet that special someone. 
I have a strong connection with my ex, he is my best friend. We still see each other, he still wants me. I feel confused. But I had been having second thoughts about him for 2 years...and wouldn’t get excited about getting married to him...because of some of his personality traits. And I would fantasize about other men. 
Sometimes life surprises you I know...and you can meet people out of the blue. But I hate being single. I dislike meeting new people like before and always wondering could he be the one...? And then realizing nope for whatever reason. 
please, can anyone who is happy and truly in a loving relationship give me advice and support? 

[Strawberrygirl]

I even consider going back with my bf at some point just to gain back my stability and knowing I have someone who loves all of me by my side. Perhaps love is overrated. Perhaps what I had with him was special and I couldn’t see it? Perhaps I  always want more ? Or idealize relationships and love ? How can I know ? 

[hbuckets]

You can’t know. You just have to try again, and find out. And if it isn’t there then it isn’t and you’ll have lost almost nothing.