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Strawberrygirl

Double success story - never rejected

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Hello all my lovely beautiful H buddies!! ❤️
 

I am here to give you courage and hope by sharing my two success stories.

i have had hsv 2 for 6 years now. I do get recurrent obs as I don’t take care of my diet but super mild...so I don’t care much.

as many of you newbies, I caught it after I was half dating a guy I liked...older from a good family, interesting guy who spoke 3 languages (Chinese included). We slept together twice with condom and I caught it. He was asymptomatic or so he claims. It was the 5th person I ever slept with and I was 20. 2 of them had been bfs. I really never thought it could happen to me. 
 

but it did. Oh well.

i already had a terrible self-esteem before H even though I am very attractive and got plenty attention from guys...but due to life events I didn’t think much of myself. And well let’s say with h I though I would be unlovable forever and ever.

Now I think...it was the universe way to show me ...not inly are you worthy of love and so much more...not inly are you super amazing...but I will show you in a very shocking way that you are. BOOM here is the h gift.

fasy forward to a year later...a Brazilian guy that came to my university in exchange...we had classes together and he started flirting with me. I kinda liked him and oh well we Started getting intimate. 
melt me tell you, I was so mad with this diagnosis I thought I’d just use condoms and suppressive therapy and never tell...

so we went in dates, we had sex...and i cried one day and told him...as he revealed that he had a gf and was in an open relationship...I remember I couldn’t say the word “herpes” and he thought I had HIV and got afraid or pregnant haha. I said “what !! No!! I have herpes!!!!” And he was like “oh, pff it’s herpes. Whatever.”

then he went on to tell me that as a child he always had cold sores and felt like the most miserable child because of it. And also said “whoever rejects you because of this is a jerk!!!”. Which really made me gain confidence little by little that “wow some people really think it’s a stupid silly thing”.

we dated for 6 months and never passed it.

he was pissed that I didn’t tell him before but he understood and we had tons of sex and he really enjoyed it. 
 

then fast forward to about 6 months later I met my current amazing bf (we are having a break I’ll explain later). 
 

he was the nicest, handsome, from a very wealthy good family like me...good career and all. Bondlish, blue eyes, people in my family compare him to Paul Newman. They kinda look alike. 
 

I failed to reveal it once again. Event went to therapy...and I told her it was “absolutely 10000% impossible someone from a good family like him, handsome, good career and all would want to risk his sexual health when he could have any girl”

well lol. After 2 months of being together, crazy about each other like I had never been before... the most handsome by far I had ever been with and nicest one too...we had been having unprotected sex...I was in suppressive therapy... and yes I know terrible but oh well. 
He was about to go to california in exchange for 9months...and he started promising he would write me a letter each month. So he read me out loud his first romantic letter...absolutely moving and beautiful, about me and how I made him feel and all... I started crying and told him about herpes. 
I thought this is it. It’s impossible he will want to be with me after this betrayal. 
he was shocked at first, mad, but said “now I need to follow either my heart or my head. And I choose to follow my heart.” And he said he didn’t care and understood me and wanted to be with me. 
 herpes never bothered us again. And he has been the most supportive, loving partner one could ask for. We have been together for almost 4 years and a half.

now here is the less pretty part...for about 2 years I wasn’t feeling the same with him. He was still quite a child in some aspects, we were both selfish sometimes, and now that I’m working and he still isn’t and wasn’t looking for a job as he was “enjoying life” I felt disillusioned and event started feeling strongly attracted to a co-worker who is showing great interest in me. And he is older and has great job, earns great money, good looking bla bla.

i decided to break up 3 weeks ago, I felt terrible after all the love he has shown...he wants to be with me ... grow old together...he loves everything about me and says it kills him to imagine me with someone else...how incredible I am...

now here is the part that kills me. I did spread it to him 3 years ago I was having symptoms told him...still wanted to have sex...he said he loves me and didn’t change how he felt about me. He suffered for 2 weeks and mentally recovered super fast. He says herpes doesn’t bother him(he has been herpes free for almost 2 years)...we have had long discussions on whether this scared him for future relationships... as part of me felt that I couldn’t leave him after giving him herpes. And I would cry and told him that I love him and want him to be happy and feel so afraid that someone may reject him and feel afraid that I ruined his love life in some way. He is so incredible always consoling me. “I promise you this doesn’t affect me, you shouldn’t be with me because of h. If someone rejects me over this I wouldn’t want to be with that person...” 

I still felt very depressed...as now it hit me I was alone, ni more routine, or stability or structure or cuddles...will I ever live again ...is true love possible? Will someone ever love me again as much as him? Did I do the right thing? 
 

so now I decided to go on a break. See therapists both...as we both need to grow and improve in some aspects. But it still blows me away how much he loves me despite h, despite everything. I was crying yesterday and he was telling me h is not my fault. And that had he known how much this actually affected me he would have tried to help me more. 
 

I am trying to give it a shot, reconnect and see if I fall in love again. Because he has so many great attributes that are hard to find in a bf. 
 

And I was also super anxious over possibly some day getting intimate with this co-worker...telling him...the fear of rejection and having to face him every day...as we work close together. Or even if he accepted it and things went south...how uncomfortable how horrible. I also feel afraid of passing it again eventually. I can do suppressive therapy... but not forever... now I am trying all kinds of supplements and ozone therapy. Will let you know how that goes. 

 

ok, so my story is here to give hope based in my success...even though right now things aren’t super amazing.

but at least I know that when someone loves you, they won’t give a damn about your h.

feel free to comment or give me love advice hahaha as I kinda need it.

Also convince me it’s a terrible idea dating a co-worker haha 😂 

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this guy sounds absolutely fucking amazing.  you are so lucky! i have heard of many stories of people accepting H disclosure pre sex, but to forgive you after unprotected sex and go on to love you the way he has...i do hope it can work out between the both of you.  a guy friend i knew broke up with his gf because they "lost the love"..then reconnected and he came to the realization that the intial throes of passion fade, and it transforms into something that doesn't feel like love because it's not that intense passion, but is actually something deeper more comfortable and long lasting. he's been married to that same girl now for 10 years.

and yes co-worker dating is terrible. if you disclose and he rejects you AND tells your other co-workers that would be horrible!!

and if you really don't want this guy anymore pass him on to me!! LOL he sounds INCREDIBLE - to even tell you to not stay with him because of H ..he sounds very mature, and that he has YOUR best interests at heart. 

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