Jump to content
  • Need support? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum, a supportive and positive group of people to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have ... 

Sign in to follow this  

And you wonder why me?

Recommended Posts

I dont want have a victim mentality mindset but i really wonder why i couldnt have been the lucky few that caught a curable STD, even syphillis is better than herpes. Herpes cant be cured and you have to deal with annnoying outbreaks plus stigma. I wonder how people with HIV/AIDS keep up. I dont want to be negative nancy but lets face it, Its sad. I was a freaking virgin when i caught the STD and now i have to let all the good men pass me by. Fantasising about a cure for herpes, meeting a man that loves me despite herpes and also meeting my standards, having to worry if my vagina still look sexually appealimg or smells good if i do choose to have sex again. I honestly feel like going out there and hurting guys the same way i was hurt especially the ones who act as if they are walking on gold diamond or glass.... i have given up, not going to give anyone the choice to be with me, i am going to have sex,hide my condtion and take my meds. I sound like a bitch but  i really want a boy friend, i cant deal.with the sexual fustration.its getting to me. I am sad. I was all positive about herpes but it was only cover i put but truly deep down inside,I AM HURT

Share this post

Link to post

Only you can control if you have the victim mentality...and I'll be the first to say that you do NOT have to "let all the good men pass me by". You need to turn your attitude about HSV to one of it being a blessing...causing you to be more picky about who you let into your life...I found an AMAZING man (meets my standards and then some!) who is HSV negative...and he does not care about my HSV status at all. I disclosed to him before we ever had sex, and his response was that it is NOTHING to him...a complete non-issue.

We've been together for nearly a year and everything is still wonderful...I can see myself marrying him.

If I'd had the attitude that I had to let him "pass me by" or that I didn't deserve him for some reason, then I would have missed out on someone amazing. 

Do NOT let yourself believe for even one second that you are not worthy of someone who meets your standards. Good people are good people and the right person will not be turned away by your HSV status.

One last word of advice - do NOT do to someone else what was done to you. Disclosure is the right thing to do...and if someone does not accept you for you, then they are not worth your time. 

  • Like 1

Share this post

Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  


    How can having "the talk" actually create MORE intimacy & connection?

    Download your free e-book + handouts now

    In support,


    Ready for one-on-one coaching support?

    If you're ready to transform your shame into resiliency (and you're ready to do the work), I can help. Find more information about coaching here: http://adriallifecoaching.com

    In support,

  • Create New...