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Irishgirl

HOW do you keep your partner safe?

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I am freaking out! My partner has just messaged me saying he thinks he has early signs!  I don’t know what to do, I am freaking out because if this ends up being true I am going to feel awful- I literally already have a pit in my stomach. We just started being intimate  & we used condoms every time! I just don’t understand. I did so much research and I thought I knew how to keep him safe. Used condoms, I’m on supplements, never had sex when I had sores!  How do you keep your partners safe?! I need more answers. PRAYING that it isn’t positive. 

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I want to know what is prep and clean up for sex. Do you use wipes to wipe him done immediately after, should really wipe myself and get rid of anything that is there before hand? Afterwards make him shower? Whats your routine. 

I feel defeated. I was really confident about handling this and now this is throwing me. 

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I'm interested in the answer to this as well. I'm the h- person in my relationship. He uses antivirals and we use condoms. 

Irishgirl- are you on antivirals? You said supplements, so I wasnt sure what you meant. Antivirals definitely reduce the risk of transmission a lot. I don't think there is any research showing lysine and other supplements reducing asymptomatic viral shedding. They might help you from getting outbreaks, but doesnt reduce risk of transmission during times you dont have an outbreak. 

When he says he had early symptoms, it could be symptoms of something else. Is he sure it is hsv? If he has a sore, can he get a swab test done? 

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I use prunella Valgrias which was proven in multiple studies to decrease the number of times the herpes virus multiplies. So helping to prevent the spread, I am currently on my parents insurance & am not going to tell them about my condition so I am using natural remedies to help (hopefully). He is getting tested Monday so I hope I haven’t spread it to him. If I haven’t, I am going to stop all intimacy, I don’t think I can handle the emotional stress of it. I about got sick just reading his message. That is the worst part of this, I was lied to and got this from my last partner then ghosted me and deleted me out of NOWHERE after 6 months of being together. (Which I assume that is when he found out he got it or finally felt bad enough he couldn’t see me or talk to me.) But I was honest and open and researched and researched on how to be the safest possible in my circumstances. I can handle having this but passing it to someone I love and care for, who doesn’t deserve it, kills me inside. He is already trying to heal from somethings that have just happened that I don’t want this additional hardship for him. 

Whooo I needed to vent. 

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So he went to the doctor and they refused to swab the sore saying it was a waste of his time and money because the sore wasn’t tender! What?! So I made him an appointment somewhere else and they don’t offer swab testing 😔 He still got a blood and urine test though so hopefully that will give us some answers. But so frustrating because the medical professionals are letting us down and we are left waiting. Finding out some results tomorrow. 

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