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Made a big mistake


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Hello! This is my first time posting. background: I’m 48. I acquired herpes when I was about 25 from a boyfriend who didn’t disclose his condition. I was devastated. Went through a huge depression, etc. Dealt with it and moved on. Got married. Had three kids. Marriage went south. My husband and I separated and then he committed suicide. My husband never got active herpes from me. Not sure if he had a dormant strain as he never got tested. I’ve been largely symptom free for quite some time.
Fast forward 16 months and I decided to give dating a try. I met a REALLY nice man who I like very much. I hadn’t given herpes much thought in the past 20 years, but knew I needed to tell him about it of course. Well, we got very hot and heavy very unexpectedly last Friday night, and we had sex. I hadn’t had sex in SO LONG, I let my sex drive take control. I didn’t tell him about my condition. We used a condom. I wasn’t having any symptoms.

I really like this guy and he seems to like me, but I’m afraid I totally screwed myself by letting my passion get away from my ethics. 
I am out of town and am feeling so terrible. We have plans to see each other on Saturday when I get back in town and I plan to tell him then. I’m so afraid he’s going to tell me to get the hell out of his life. 
Any advice?? I’m regretting even thinking about dating as the angst from when i was first diagnosed has resurfaced and I’m not sure it’s worth it. 

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  • 1 year later...

Don't beat yourself up over it. The chances of you passing it to him is extremely low given how long you've had it and you used a condom. I never passed this to my late husband of 25 years. We had him tested yearly. When he comes back, sit him down and tell him. Don't cry or freak, just tell him. Also, tell him the chance if him getting it was extremely low. Are you on anti viral? If so it was only 2% risk of him getting it from you. Just educate him and see what happens. 

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