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Breakthestigma1990

Rejected and then accepted?

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I was diagnosed with HSV2 5 months ago, met someone a month ago and told them after 4 great dates and a strong connection (my disclosure was text book of how NOT to disclose) 

After 2 days he said that he didn’t want to continue seeing me. I know this sounds silly but I’m hoping he might either regret his decision or reach out to me again? 


I just can’t stop thinking about him and feeling pretty low in general. 
Any stories like this? 

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Forget him. While it’s easier said than done, it’s probably for the best. I haven’t experienced this but when disclosing I had to accept that it might lead to rejection and be okay with it. I take it as that person isn’t right for you nor deserves you.

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Well...I’m in your same boat and it’s been a fricken roller coaster. Ive had H for almost a year now and haven’t dated anyone since my diagnosis. Recently met someone I REALLY liked...we had a super strong quick connection (which doesn’t really ever happen for me...I’m usually very meh about dating)...anyway...discloses after the second time seeing each other...he was very kind about it and said he needed to strongly think about it...but then I felt the distance so I told him I had to let him go...he said he was still thinking about it and didn’t want to rush into a decision...weeks went by (maybe a month) and I heard nothing...I was Devastated!!! Then out of no where Monday he starts talking to me again...being very flirty...So I’m assuming he was done with his deep thought process and wanted to give things a go...I was SO EXCITED (inside of course I played it cool) then this weekend he just kinda stopped talking to me again. Back to being devastated. It really sucks. 

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Hi all,

I recently went through something similar, but with a slight twist. I’m struggling mentally with the outcome and could use some advice or if anyone has similar stories that ended differently, for the better. 
 

It’s been years since I connected emotionally with a man. I finally meet this guy, he’s about 10 years older than me (I’m 34 by the way). He was perfect for me, so I thought. I wasn’t immediately attracted to him, but he really won me over on our second and third dates. We had so much fun together, talking and laughing. And, we had similar motives and drive in life. After years of searching (and 3 years in between where I’ve been managing my diagnosis) I thought I might have met the one! 
 

Well, we spent the night at each other’s places a few times, but no sex! I told him I didn’t want to rush that, and he was respectful. Finally, one night when he spent the night things were escalating and he was saying all these emotional things. By the way, since Day 1 he was sweet-talking me, telling me I’m perfect for him and he’s waited so long for something like what we were experiencing. Anyways, back to this night... he was saying all this stuff as we were making out and messing around (we both had a few drinks that night), and I couldn’t hold back my secret any longer. I told him I had HSV-2 and I told him the whole story of how I got it. I started to cry because of all the memories. Then, he hugged me and actually told me that he has HSV-1. We cuddled and slept the night through. 
 

Here’s where the story takes a twist. The next morning, he acted fine. We woke up, went to breakfast and then went our separate ways for the day. I was excited because I thought I found someone who knew what I was going through (since he has HSV-1). When we talked things through later that day, I explained everything I knew about HSV-2 so he could understand what the risks were and how transmission could be mitigated if we slept with each other. I can’t get his facial expressions out of my head. It seemed as though he was looking at me with disgust (he probably didn’t intend for that). But the night ended with him saying he needed to think it over, which I understood. But, the more I thought things over the more upset I got because who was he to judge me when in fact he has the same virus! He just acquired it differently, in a different location. I called him back the next day to explain how I was feeling (in more of a PC manner) and he couldn’t get it through his head that HSV-1 was ANYTHING like HSV-2. He even said that he’d “much rather have a sore on his lip vs a sore on his penis any day.” That hurt me! Also, another thing that bothered me was the fact that he wasn’t even planning to tell me he has HSV-1 and I can’t begin to tell you how often we made out when we were together!! In the end, he couldn’t deal with the fact that I have HSV-2, so we parted and went our separate ways. It’s been over a week now, and I would have thought he’d reach out since we were developing such a strong bond, but nothing. Not only do I feel rejected, but I feel rejected by someone with the same freaking virus!

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While everyone is entitled to time to think about these things after being disclosed to, don’t settle for rejection! Honestly there’s so many people out there who will react so much better to being disclosed to, much more understanding and reassuring, I’d move on if I were you!

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