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Successful disclosing stories!

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So Im currently dating this guy and he seems lovely, we get on so well and i do potentially see it going somewhere HOWEVER I’m so scared to disclose ! I’ve had this nearly 2 years now and I’ve dated but the fear of having to disclose has always pushed me away and almost shut me off so I either back out or seem uninterested 😩 when in reality it’s the fear of rejection stopping me! As a result I haven’t been with anyone since my diagnosis and at 24 I feel like it’s really impacting me and I’m scared that this is it and I'm just going to be alone ! 

I try and remain positive about it and I know I have a lot of good qualities etc and I’m not my diagnosis but I just struggle to picture myself having a successful disclosure and it’s making me so anxious about my future! 

so was just hoping people could post some positive disclosing stories or ways to not let the fear of disclosing ruin any potential relationships!  ... anything positive in general would be super appreciated! 

Also what length of time have people waited to disclose ? I was going to see how the third date went then after that tell him if I decide that I do want to progress things! 

thanks in advance x

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Hey I feel you, it's a very difficult situation especially when you start developing strong feelings for that person. But it's also likely they are developing strong feelings for you and herpes shouldn't stand in the way of that. Any mature person will understand that it isn't a big deal. 

I disclosed last year after spending a lot of time with someone, not telling her while we were getting closer was eating away at me so I decided to set a date that I would tell her and make sure I stick to it. It went really well, she understood and it didn't change anything between us. 

"We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown."

Don't assume someone will reject you or respond badly. Tell it in a way that doesn't make it seem like a big deal, because it isn't. If they're not education on it they will likely ask a few questions and you can both move on from it. 

Feel free to message me if you'd like a chat, I'm a 22 y/o male from the UK so you might find comfort in speaking to someone of the opposite gender on their perspective. 

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