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Anneb123

HSV2 during break with ex

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Hi guys,

I could really need som advice figuring out my thoughts.

I got diagnosed with HSV2 this week.

Me and my ex has been on a break for 1 year trying to figure things out. He has been with other women and I have been with other men.

About two weeks ago I had sex with a stranger. I was so drunk, and I insisted on him using a condom. He looked around in some drawers and I thought he put on a condom.  During the act I noticed that he did not use a condom, and I told him that was really disrespectful and stormed out taking a cab home. From talking to my therapist she Said that it was an assault. Is it? 
One week after I got diagnosed with HSV2 and Im certain that this stranger has given me this.

Either way I told my ex about all of this. He is really sad that this has happend to me and he blames himself, saying that it he didnt break up with me this would have never happend. 
We have taken some time apart and now he is starting to get a little bit angry, which is understandable. I have told him that I Can’t live with the thought givning him this disease, but he firmly claims that if we figure this out it won’t be a problem since we will live our whole life together with kids and all. 
 

I feel such anxiety and I just want him to live his best life. 

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Ok, this isn’t an easy one to answer. If you insisted he use a condom but he didn’t, then yes I can understand you feel violated.. what you choose to do about it now is up to you but there is no way of knowing you contracted it from him unless you have an HSV blood test now that can possibly determine a new infection but even then, you said there has been others. HSV can lie undetected ( dormant) for weeks, months or even years. A partner could have given it to you years ago and only now has it chosen to activate. A blood test can sometimes be a clear indicator of a new or old infection. I can understand it’s difficult for you both. It’s normal for your boyfriend and you to feel regretful and angry whilst you cone to terms with the diagnosis. But if you both went for the HSV blood test, you could find out where you both stand and whether your partner is already infected or not. If not, then there are medications and easy steps to prevent passing it to him, if he tests positive as you have, then things become a little easier. It is not a death sentence. Many of us actually do live our bests lives with this virus. It’s a virus, it’s not a disease.it isn’t the end of the world even if it sometimes feels like it and trust me when I say I’ve had my days! 

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13 minutes ago, greydaysandbrighternights said:

Ok, this isn’t an easy one to answer. If you insisted he use a condom but he didn’t, then yes I can understand you feel violated.. what you choose to do about it now is up to you but there is no way of knowing you contracted it from him unless you have an HSV blood test now that can possibly determine a new infection but even then, you said there has been others. HSV can lie undetected ( dormant) for weeks, months or even years. A partner could have given it to you years ago and only now has it chosen to activate. A blood test can sometimes be a clear indicator of a new or old infection. I can understand it’s difficult for you both. It’s normal for your boyfriend and you to feel regretful and angry whilst you cone to terms with the diagnosis. But if you both went for the HSV blood test, you could find out where you both stand and whether your partner is already infected or not. If not, then there are medications and easy steps to help prevent passing it to him, if he tests positive as you have, then things become a little easier. It is not a death sentence. Many of us actually do live our bests lives with this virus. It’s a virus, it’s not a disease.it isn’t the end of the world even if it sometimes feels like it and trust me when I say I’ve had my days! 

 

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Hi, thank you. 
I think that going to a therapist will hopefully help me.

The thing is I live in Sweden and they Don’t do blood test unless you have symptoms. And I Don’t think my ex is interested in taking one either.

My ex do have HSV1 orally for years, I read somewhere that it could make a certain protection for HSV2, is that true? 

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