New Diagnosed- How Potential Dating Partners Look at Herpes

[DD12345]

First off thank you for everyone being courageous in this group, this forum has been tremendously helpful in building back my confidence/reducing shame. 

 

I was diagnosed within the last year. I’m young, active, well traveled and have paved a successful career. 

 

Dating is already difficult in your late 20s/early 30s and this diagnosis has me feeling quite flawed. When I play devil's advocate I don’t know if I would be open to dating someone in my position-especially when there are plenty of ‘fish in the sea.’ 

 

I think the components I struggle with that support this school of thought are the following

 

1. Judgment of how you got it? Most people’s minds drift to promiscuity or a past tumultuous relationship. I don’t think this piece really matters when disclosing but I imagine it’s something that might cross someone’s mind. 

 

2. Health risk? Why would someone want to be with you if you had the potential to affect their health long term? 

 

3. Carefreeness of a monogamous relationship- let’s face it, most exclusive couples at some point use some sort of birth control method and don’t use condoms when in an exclusive relationship. I’m concerned that normal enjoyable behavior will now either no longer be an option or become something that’s cautionary/feared and NOT something they’d experience with a non H partner. 

 

I appreciate anyone that’s able to share insight into some of these concerns based on their experience. I’m new to this and trying to find hope in my path forward.

[mr_hopp]

These are all valid questions. Questions all of us had at the beginning. And it's important to work to shift your mindset away from the stigma and toward opportunity. In short, even though there are drawbacks to dating an HSV-positive person, there are so many more positives ... Namely, you. Not the herpes. You. Who you uniquely are in relationship. That is what overshadows any of the potential negatives. The Herpes Opportunity is to embrace vulnerability and honesty as your superpowers ... To be the best person you can be. To use perceived setbacks in your life as leverage for your growth. 

First things first, download the e-book and handouts here (which will also launch you on the free Opportunity email series): https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Check out this smattering of posts that will help you shift your mindset toward opportunity. I hope it's enough to fill your Coronavirus Quarantine. 😉 

• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-stigma-how-to-become-bulletproof
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/feeling-guilty-about-putting-partners-at-risk-of-getting-herpes
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-is-not-an-opportunity
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/no-one-will-love-me-and-other-bs
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-facts
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-rejection-as-a-relationship-filter
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/5-herpes-fictions
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/i-have-herpes-mens-health
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/making-herpes-disclosure-sexy
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/sexual-shame-rewriting-your-narrative
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/how-do-you-to-tell-someone-you-have-an-std