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Struggling with Acceptance


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It’ll be a year next week since my diagnosis. I am still struggling with accepting it and accepting myself. I’ve been rejected a few times but I always make it a point to say something if i feel like a situation is going to go the physical route. It rarely bothers me physically, just emotionally is a mind fuck. I recently have been talking to someone new, I’m not sure if it is going to head anywhere. Due to covid nobody can see anyone physically right now anyways. I just worry if i establish a deeper connection with him, eventually i have to have the conversation. I’m learning to not do it too early because i do want him to get to know me outside of physically things. I read a lot about having to be confident when you disclose but i am still struggling with that. I have even had my diagnosis thrown in my face, been degraded by someone i disclosed to. It’s not that I’m not ready to date, i think it’s just getting over it emotionally and trying to stop rejecting myself so much. It’s hard. I figured I’d be okay with it by now but.. it’s hard to come to terms. I just need to vent.

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Welcome to how the vast majority of people with herpes feel: The bark is much worse than the bite. The actual physical impact of the virus is so much less impactful than the mental and emotional one. Totally. And that's where the empowerment comes in. Because we have a whole lot more control over how we choose to perceive herpes and ourselves than we do on the virus itself (aside from taking care of our bodies, of course). 

Oof, I'm so sorry you've had your disclosure thrown in your face. That is an example of someone who doesn't deserve your vulnerability or doesn't know that it's something to be treasured and appreciated, not stomped on and used as a power play. That kind of reaction shows mountains more about them than it ever has about you. It shows they are spiteful, angry and judgmental. The way you know when it's time to disclose is when you feel like you can trust this person with your vulnerability. It's not always 100%, but for the most part, your intuition can tell you if you trust someone to go deeper with. If your heart feels like it can trust them, then the disclosure is bound to go much better, even if the ultimate answer is no thank you. 

And here's a video that might help with self-acceptance:
https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-and-self-acceptance

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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