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Feeling pretty scared

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I got my test results back this morning. I only got tested because I was seeing someone new and really lovely. The doctor found a tiny, tiny bump and tested it, told me not to worry at all, and that it didn't even look like herpes. But, it was. HSV2. I told the guy I was seeing, he immediately ended things even after I explained all the facts. That's got me even more worried that my dating life is over... I'm only 19 and I feel like this is the end for me, I'm about to just adopt some more cats. I don't know how I'll ever maintain a relationship, or even go out on dates, because I feel so ashamed, and I don't think most people are going to understand. I haven't stopped crying since I found out. I just feel like this is it for me.

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Hi seafoam!


Welcome to the forums, chica! And I know that feeling of rejection can seem like such a nail in the coffin. It doesn't have to be if you don't want it to be, though. ;) What happens when we get herpes is that our net for catching all those fish in the ocean gets to be better at catching the fish that are truly for us. It cuts out all the riff-raff. It may SEEM like it's a dead end, when in reality it's just focusing the pool of prospects that are right for you. You're not going to get those guys who are just interested in you just for sex alone. You're going to get the guys who see you for you and are attracted to you through and through.


If the guy ditched you, then get this: He wasn't the guy for you and you weren't for him. As simple as that. And just because this one guy isn't for you doesn't mean the next one won't be, too. Don't create a self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself with this. We can have the tendency to create the outcomes we fear the most because we obsess over them being a possibility. What happens there is that we put all our energy into what we don't want. And what we focus on becomes bigger. Have you read the e-book yet? If not, definitely do that now. It'll have you turning the corner about this being a problem into starting to see this as an actual, no-bullshit opportunity. ;)



Check out this recording of a talk I did with a few other friends of the Herpes Opportunity. The topic was rejection. And it was pretty powerful. It's not what you might think it is ...


Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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Thanks for your response Adrial!


I know deep down he wasn't right for me. It was my first real connection after getting back in the "dating game" and it just seemed so rough to have all this happen :( How do you reccomend staying hopeful that other people won't reject me in the same way?


I read the e-book which was very helpful! I'm starting to see logically how these things make sense, how this could be a blessing. I'm just really struggling to start feeling them! I know it's early but I just wish I could feel a tiny glimmer of hope instead of this big heavy weight.


I'm so glad I've found this forum!

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Hey! Adrial is right...things get better and it steps up your dating game in finding someone who is interested in all of YOU, not just sex. Just read my latest post on my recent dating story...lol. :) It does change things up, but that can definitely be for the better it you change how you look at it. H does not define you... you are who you present yourself to be and I think over time and with practice it will get easier to make it sound less shameful once you own it and your body and your personality...all of lovely you! Regardless of H or not, you are worthy and worth it! Don't forget that! Good luck! It'll be ok!

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