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Ellafitz123

I have 10000% been exposed.

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If anyone at all can please please give me an answer. I am sick to my stomach. I have been with someone for over two years. We have had sex constantly (almost 4-6 times a week, every week.) I slept with him (very rough sex) on Friday. he had a reddish patch above his groin which I thought was just from rough sex. On Sunday, he told me he couldn’t have sex because he had an outbreak. THIS IS HOW HE REVEALED HE HAD HERPES WITH ME AFTER TWO YEARS. The outbreak was in that red same spot. Other than realizing he is a liar and dealing with that fact, I am now coming to terms with the fact that I for sure contracted HSV-2 on Friday. I have no symptoms yet and it Tuesday but I’m preparing myself. Is there anyway I could have not gotten in? Would I have gotten it in the past two years if not Friday? He was for sure in predormal phase. Do I just wait for an outbreak? I am heartbroken and terrified. I feel so lied to and now I have to deal with something I didn’t even know I had. Please, any advice will help 

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Hi there! I know the feelings you're going through right now, but try your best to remain as calm as you can - it's going to be alright! I'm not a medical expert, but I have a few friends who have been in long term relationships with HSV-2 positive partners, and have never contracted it. If your partner was taking antivirals and you have used protection, your chances of contracting it are actually very low (about 2-4% per YEAR, which is roughly the same as getting pregnant on birth control). Everyone's bodies are different - some of us, like myself, were unlucky enough to get it in a chance encounter, while others have life-long relationships and never get it. All you can do is take it one step at a time, and take a test. Also, keep in mind that a blood test needs about 4-6 weeks to register a true positive, as your body needs time to build up antibodies. I hate to keep you waiting longer, but if you're worried about that particular recent encounter and want to be sure, I would definitely re-test in a month or two.

My other advice would be to try to separate your anger with your partner from your fear of this as much as you can! That's a lot of emotion for one person to take on at once. You have every right to feel lied to and betrayed, and the feeling of being afraid is totally normal. Try to tackle the things you're in control of one at a time - have a conversation with your partner, schedule a test, and try to take some time for self care. And please, take it from me who has HSV - even if your test results come back positive, your life is not over! It's a very manageable and overly-stigmatized condition, and my guess is that if you already have gotten it within the past 2 years and have not seen any symptoms, you'll probably continue to be asymptomatic.

I hope this helps! Sending hugs!

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On 7/6/2020 at 8:56 PM, akirn said:

Hi there! I know the feelings you're going through right now, but try your best to remain as calm as you can - it's going to be alright! I'm not a medical expert, but I have a few friends who have been in long term relationships with HSV-2 positive partners, and have never contracted it. If your partner was taking antivirals and you have used protection, your chances of contracting it are actually very low (about 2-4% per YEAR, which is roughly the same as getting pregnant on birth control). Everyone's bodies are different - some of us, like myself, were unlucky enough to get it in a chance encounter, while others have life-long relationships and never get it. All you can do is take it one step at a time, and take a test. Also, keep in mind that a blood test needs about 4-6 weeks to register a true positive, as your body needs time to build up antibodies. I hate to keep you waiting longer, but if you're worried about that particular recent encounter and want to be sure, I would definitely re-test in a month or two.

My other advice would be to try to separate your anger with your partner from your fear of this as much as you can! That's a lot of emotion for one person to take on at once. You have every right to feel lied to and betrayed, and the feeling of being afraid is totally normal. Try to tackle the things you're in control of one at a time - have a conversation with your partner, schedule a test, and try to take some time for self care. And please, take it from me who has HSV - even if your test results come back positive, your life is not over! It's a very manageable and overly-stigmatized condition, and my guess is that if you already have gotten it within the past 2 years and have not seen any symptoms, you'll probably continue to be asymptomatic.

I hope this helps! Sending hugs!

Thank you so much for your helpful words.

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If your partner is a loving person outside the virus. Kindly forgive him, otherwise trash him

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