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I was diagnosed with HSV 2 a day after my birthday, and everyone I talk to, (doctors included) have been absolutely NO HELP to me. I don't know when I got it, or how long I've had it, and how to figure that out, I don't know if I should tell past partners about my diagnosis or just leave those doors closed, I don't know how to tell if I'm having an outbreak because I've NEVER seen bumps or ulcers down there, I wasn't given any medicine which makes me extremely anxious and on edge that I'm gonna give it to myself on other parts of my body, or give it to my kids or someone else. This dude that I'm dating is thinking its no big deal and that we'll just use condoms but I don't even want to be touched right now cuz I feel so worthless and disgusting, and damaged, but he doesn't seem to care or be here for the emotional aspect of it, he's just so dismissive and thinks it'll be alright when I'm not seeing that it will right now... idk I just need some answers.. what are some other symptoms of an outbreak, how can you tell how long you've had it, do they automatically test for it when you're pregnant? (I have 2 kids) and is there anyway to find out where you got it from?

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i don’t know how much help I can be because I was semi recently diagnosed too. How did they diagnose you? Did you have an outbreak or did they randomly do an sti blood test?

im not sure how I got it or how long I’ve had it either. I’ve been with the same guy for 7 years (neither of us have cheated) and then suddenly I had my first outbreak in Nov 2019 and not another one since.

it is possible it could lay dormant for a while is what I heard....or maybe my boyfriend had asymptomatic oral hsv1 and gave it to me genitally? I really don’t know how I got it and I probably never will.

my boyfriend also does not think it’s a big deal at all, however it was pretty earth shattering to me when I was diagnosed because I didn’t realize I could get it so easily and in a committed relationship when both of us were told we had no sti’s (come to find out after that usually they don’t test for herpes in standard sti panels). 

I don’t know if they automatically test for it when you’re pregnant...I would assume they do because usually doctors will want to do a c section if you’re having an outbreak but I’m not 100% sure if they automatically test for it when your pregnant.


for me, I’ve only had one outbreak so far (it’s been almost 9 months) and i got flu-like symptoms (intense body ache) and then I felt almost like a tingle/scratch in my vagina....almost like a cut or piece of stand was there...and then the next day I could barely walk bc the pain. I went to the doctor and they found ulcers inside of me and diagnosed me with GHSV and gave me valtrex and that made it go away quickly.

i heard the first outbreak is the worst and it usually takes up to 6 months to 1 year for your body to become used to the virus and then I think outbreaks are less severe and frequent.

i really am just learning out this virus myself but just wanted you to know you’re not alone in this!!! 

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Also, sorry just re-read your post.

i did not feel the need to notify ex partners because I’m fairly certain I got it recently from oral sex.

i think it’s fairly uncommon to pass it to another part of your  body once you build up antibodies to the virus (6 months to a year) And it made me feel a lot better to learn that you transmit with skin to skin contact (it favors mucus membranes) only when you are shedding or have an outbreak (shedding is more frequent during first year) and you cannot pass it through sharing towels or toilet seats.

doctors also have not been any help to me at all and seem to not know much about the virus. 

this message board is where I get most of my information on it!! 

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Heyy Blue1982, 

Thank you so much for your help!  was diagnosed by just a random blood test by my new gynecologist I decided to start going to.  I dont think I've had any outbreaks, but I did feel how you described back in February, as far as fever, and body aches go, I didn't really have any vaginal itching or anything but I remember my butt hurting sooo much I could've cried, and I couldn't swallow anything because my throat was like swollen. 


Wow, my doctor kind of told me the same thing! Because I was with my last boyfriend for 5 years and she told me he could've been an asymptomatic carrier of it and gave it to me. 

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Blood tests can be very unreliable!

im not saying you don’t have HSV at all but, blood tests can produce a lot of false-positives or false-negatives.

it could be that you have HSV in a different part of your body than your vagina! 

a lot of people have it and don’t even realize it at all! 

hang in there!!! 

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And on the blood tests being unreliable tip, that's true for the IgG and IgM tests, but the gold standard with blood tests is the Western Blot. That will give a definitive result, but it is a bit pricey. You just need to wait at least 12-16 weeks for antibodies to reach detectable levels. 

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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