hurt, beytrayed, confused about herpes

[hurt_betrayed]

I have recently been diagnosed with sacral HSV2. i contracted it from the father of my child whilst he was in thailand working and cheated on me with a bar girl. he said he used a condom but i dont think i believe him. I am unsure if there is any differances between it being on my sacrum and giving it it to someone is easier/harder. I mean of course i would still devulge this to someone i wanted to be with but really at this point i have given up on men as my partner was meant to one of the good ones and if he could do it then i just dont believe there are any good ones out there.I am only 24 a single mother of a toddler i already had enough baggage to send men running and now i have this to add to it.

[mr_hopp]

Reading your post has me feeling sad ... Sad that you would believe things that would hold you back from feeling loved (by yourself first, then by others). You don't deserve to have those kinds of thoughts about yourself. But I remember having those thoughts take me over for so long. I feel protective over your heart. You don't have to believe these things and you don't have to waste all the time that I wasted believing that I didn't deserve a good partner. And sometimes all the suffering naturally leads to us simply having to change it out of necessity. If you suffer long enough, it's bound to push you into changing a lot of things about yourself. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes.

 

But remember that the first roadblock to our happiness is usually ourselves, not our life circumstances.

[Carlos]

I'm sorry about your situation; I can imagine how it must feel. My heart goes out to you. I totally agree with (the_H_opp). And pray that the anger you're feeling right now soon leaves you... I felt for a long time (and at times the old noise comes back up) that I was paying for someone else's mistakes; and so the anger motivated me, made me feel powerful. But that sword is double-edged. Because it's all a state of mind. at the end of the day, we must be good to ourselves cause nobody else has the power to make us happy. ;) from a George Michael song. Stay beautiful. Spoil your child.

[lelani]

There are good men out there...but you need time to heal from this one. Take the time now to love your baby and yourself. I understand your anger and hurt - I got H from someone I loved and HPV from another I loved...what are the odds?!!

 

Yeah give up on men for a while...this is a time for you to spend on yourself, find out who you are, what is important to you and what makes you happy. Let go of that anger, it colours everything grey and black in your life...there is sunshine once you let it go - yes even with H there is sun and happiness if you choose to cultivate it. A big hug and I send you healing and love...I do know how you feel.x

[hurt_betrayed]

Thank you for your words of support guys this has really made me feel a lot more at ease, yes, I do still feel angry but less than I did before. It's true like you said Carlos, I truly think I am suffering for someone else's mistake. I was always very careful with men so that I would never be in this position and all my friends that slept around unprotected have caught nothing! How fair is that? I am going to focus on my son and finishing off my degree in my nursing and then maybe I will feel happier within myself.

 

I still love the father of my child very much and I wasn't angry that he had given me this when I thought it may have been from a previous relationship and had be laying dormant or something like that because I still loved him and knew it wasn't his fault. It wasn't until I found out from a friend and confronted him that I found out he had actually cheated on me. That's what causes me the most pain of all. My ex says he is truly sorry and he still wants to be with me and he will get professional help with me and by himself to help him become a better person.

 

Do you think I should give him another chance (obviously not untill I see him making the steps to change and seeing them put in action) or do you think once a cheat always a cheat? He is the father of my child and like I said I do love him with all my heart.