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So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and it’s been a year since i found out he gave me Herpes. I have HSV-1 On my genitalia. It’s been a year and I still get depressed about it and very sad because he was my second partner ever & this happened. I’m not so happy in my relationship but I feel like this is the best it’ll get. Ever since I found out I have herpes i feel like no one will ever want me so I should just settle. I also have realized I have resentment towards him because of this. I’m the only one who has dealt with multiple outbreaks including on my birthday which freaking sucked and mostly because of the fact that he was the second person I’ve ever had sex with. I felt  my life was  a bad episode on a show. 

PS 

sorry if I repeated myself a lot, this is the first time EVER that I’m able to speak abou this because no one else besides my boyfriend knows. It’s just hard and I’m so glad I found this page.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi @Idunnooooo and I'm so sorry your post wasn't responded to! I hope you're still around and are able to read this. I'm proud of you for speaking about this. It takes courage and heart to post here and make yourself vulnerable like this.

A few things I hope will help:

  1. Your genital HSV-1 for the long term will most likely be no big deal when it comes to outbreaks. It does take about a year on average for your immune system to start getting things under control. I don't know if you are on daily suppressive therapy, but that will help to cut down on viral shedding (and thus outbreaks) by 50%. 
  2. That settling perspective is so common unfortunately, and it breaks my heart every time I see someone else getting bamboozled by it. It's just BS, plain and simple. If anything, herpes can wake you up to the fact that you deserve even BETTER than you've been putting up with. Because going out into the world and disclosing to potential partners will actually help you hone in on the type of man who will have a real conversation with you and see You. The kind of guys who just want sex or a shallow relationship will run for the hills; this isn't rejection ... it's them filtering themselves out for you and saving you time. 

Here are some links that will help you reframe what may seem like a negative into a deeper opportunity for you:

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@mr_hopp thank you so much for responding. I felt a bit down since I didn’t get a response & ive seen other post. Thank you for your wise words. I’m definitely learning about herpes as I go. My anxiety gets really bad when I think about it and I’ve been slowly been tryna educate myself so I can deal with it. I will deff read the links you sent. Once again thank you so much for even noticing my post

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