Jump to content
  • Need support? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum, a supportive and positive group of people to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have ... 
     

Sign in to follow this  
jkjohn08

Do I have to tell someone I have herpes?

Recommended Posts

I understand how u feel... I just did this myself... As much as it hurt... The person I told understood m told me he dated someone for 4 years with it before... He never got it.. It was a relief telling someone who already cared about me

Share this post


Link to post

I've told almost 20 people and whole they were just friends and family or coworkers not romantic partners no one has rejected me it's quite the opposite

 

I know how you feel I couldn't imagine telling anyone after I left the doctor I didn't even want to go home

 

A year later I'm here I'm ok. Yes I still have down times like this. But it passes

 

Actually a few months after my diagnosis a friend of mine wound up having HSV2 also. And she shared her mom has had it forever.

 

My point is though it feels like you can never tell anyone you can do it.

 

Think about it don't you wish someone had told you? Don't you wish someone had been honest with you that they cared or respected you enough to tell you? That's just my perspective. There are instances where people honestly don't know but in the case that they did know and were dishonest

 

Keep posting were all here for you both

Share this post


Link to post

Domh21,

I would be one of thosepeopleyou mention that wishes the other person was honest. Im newly diagnosed and still in diagnosis phase. Probably a bit of denial as well. You cab bet very angry. My ex knew he as oral and genital herpes for years. He withheld that from and many other women and knowingly exposed me.

Thank you, Louisiana. my state one of 36 that has criminal laws against withholding a status of communicable disease from a potential partner whether the other person becomes infected or not.

We are going court. I know this wont change my diagnosis but someone has to stand out and make him accountable for the senseless, cruel, intentional behavior. He will be paying for my counseling and any /all medical related to this for the rest of my natural life .in his death if before me, his estate will provide. He will also have to notify all past partners throught the court as well as any new potential partners.

there is someone who wants to date me now. He has been trying since i broke with the ex who gave this me. I just keep pushing him away and he keeps asking why. He seems pretty persisant in his pursuit of me. I cant possibly see myself dating in the state im in even though i know what a fabolous guy he is

Share this post


Link to post

Fear of Rejection. It's been the root of SO many things I've done that I didn't really want to do. It's been the root of SO many things I didn't do that I really wanted to. It's been my constant companion since my earliest memories of being very afraid that I wouldn't be loved if I dared tell the truth about myself. My closet has never been about the issues most people think of when the word "closet" is mentioned in social terms. My closet has always been about hiding the WHOLE me, the REAL me, the TRUE me...because I just couldn't bear risking someone proving me right...that I'm truly not lovable. WHAT a lie!

 

It took being exposed to H, having 3 o/b s, and getting my proverbial hands dirty in the muck that has plagued my heart and mind for so long...

 

I'm truly starting to get it...I project onto other people my belief system about myself. They, in turn, can only love me in so much as I'm able to love myself, receive their efforts, and love them back. It's all intricately connected, but it all begins with me loving and placing value on myself. H didn't CAUSE me to be "unlovable"...H was a convenient opportunity for me to place blame for something that was there all along. It gave me an opportunity to justify something that I haven't wanted to face. However, the opportunity, as this site and the founder point out so well, is also there for me to go deeper inside and be more open, more real, more truthful than I ever imagined possible!

 

My value is no longer found in whether or not another human being loves and accepts me. My value comes from something deeper and something bigger than myself or others. So, rejection is losing its long held grip over me, and I'm VERY thankful!

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • FREE E-BOOK + HANDOUTS

    How can having "the talk" actually create MORE intimacy & connection?

    Download your free e-book + handouts now

    In support,
    Adrial

  • PRIVATE COACHING

    Ready for one-on-one coaching support?

    If you're ready to transform your shame into resiliency (and you're ready to do the work), I can help. Find more information about coaching here: http://adriallifecoaching.com

    In support,
    Adrial

×
×
  • Create New...