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I supposedly passed it on but...zero symptoms, ever, in 30+ years


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All - thanks in advance. I got some news recently from my ex-girlfriend of 3+ years. I am an early 60's male and believe it or not was married twice over the past 30 years, one of them for 22 years, both women that supposedly had herpes. Despite that, I have never had one single rash-type outbreak indicating anything like the sort of symptoms I hear about all the time. This latest woman and I had massive sex for 3+ years, and she never told me once that she was having any outbreaks, or that I might have given it to her. We split up on not good terms and suddenly she is railing at me that I gave her herpes. She says she "was having outbreaks from time to time but didn't want to tell me about them", however she never stopped us having sex due to any outbreaks. I don't know if I'm being framed-blamed or what.

I told my doctor this recently, she said there wasn't really a valid dependable test that wasn't subject to false positives, unless I was actually in the middle of an outbreak and they could swab it. Having just gone through some other web pages and found that there are multiple different tests (PCR, other blood/panel tests), I don't know what to think about the doctor anymore. I also read enough on the forums here and elsewhere to see that someone can be asymptomatic for a long time, or forever. Ok. But it doesn't make sense, across (at least) three women, all of whom I had massive sex with for years at a time (well 1st wife was only 8 months but...).

I guess what I'd like to know is what test, if any I could get from my doctor, would be the most dependable, not ever having any outbreak to be able to swab? I don't mind wearing a condom for the rest of my fading days but I'd like to know if I actually have the stuff.  Appreciate any feedback.

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Either one of you could have had it without outbreaks so she can't lay the blame on you yet, but if your former sex partners had it, chances are you do too.

Where I'm from, you can only get swabs on sores and then if you test positive you can get a blood test to determine type (I didn't bother) but I'm not sure about the reliability of the blood test. 

What the heck is "massive sex"? 

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