Being made fun of for having herpes - How to deal

[LaughItOff]

Hey I'm just wondering if anyone has been in this type of situation before and if so what did they do or say to the person. 

 

I've been in a few situations where people made it a point to talk about herpes in my presence but never directly to me. Like oh this person has herpes for sure. Then I'd ask why so you think that. Oh she just looks like she has it.

Or they'd tell a story about someone hooking up with a person then it ends with turn out the person had herpes! then they start laughing about it. Almost like they're trying to make fun of you or get under your skin.

Or another time a friend or who I thought was,  mixed up our drinks and said you sure that's yours I wouldnt want to get herpes or anything. - I acted like I didn't hear it but I totally did. 

What to say in a situation like that? Just come right out and out myself to the person right there on the spot and embarrass myself or just don't even respond like I did. 

Ive been dealing with comments and hatred for years. People who I thought were friends all of a sudden start talking about in to others behind my back. Now people that only they knew know about it and make comments here and there. 

Been shamed for it on social media by people making fake accounts and sending messages. 

Am I nuts or is the shame so much worse than the actual herps lol

Overall I've come to realize who my real friends are and who I can trust. I Joined an HSV dating site that's helped me a lot. I've met some really good people with alot of positivity and good advice. 

Just wondering anyone's thoughts on how to deal with the hate the trolls the shame and how to learn to love myself for who I am. 

Thx

[mr_hopp]

Yes, I was actually in that exact situation, too! ... only it was my best friend's fiancee. He made a bad herpes joke out of the blue. Here's what happened:

https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-stigma-how-to-become-bulletproof

And yes, the bark is absolutely worse than the bite when it comes to herpes. It's a mindset game more than it ever has been a medical thing (for the vast majority of folks). And this is where it's a growth opportunity. Like you say, it's absolutely a relationship filter. Those people who show their ugly side are saying a whole lot more about them (being judgmental, critical, etc.) than they are saying about you. Remember that. Bullies and otherwise judgy people can tend to trigger our own worst self-judgments ... but when we can zoom out a bit, we can see that they have actually filtered themselves out of our lives and cleared a space for a decent human being. 

Here's another video on that topic that I hope you'll find helpful:

https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-rejection-as-a-relationship-filter