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Terri Warren podcast hsv-2


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Hi, 

I was dating a woman for almost 4 months. She told me she has hsv-2 genital and I freaked out. I felt betrayed and I ended the relationship as soon as she told me. I felt a lot of anger and anxiety for several months.

I got tested 4 times in 7 months and All the results were IGG negative for hsv-2 and Positive for hsv-1 with two digits 50, 58, 52. I was shocked I have hsv-1. Never had an outbreak or I don’t remember. I just assume I have it orally like the 80% of the people in my country in south America. We kiss all the time with aunts and grandpas. I asked my dad, he told me I probably got it from him, that he gets little blisters once or twice a year. I even remember my first girlfriend when I was 12 used to get cold sores (fuegos—>fires as we call in Spanish).
I went to therapy since I was diagnose with OCD because I couldn’t accept that I don’t have hsv-2.

I came to terms with the fact she didn’t tell me and I just think that it was THE mistake, but that it didn’t change the way I feel about her. I love her and trust can be rebuilt. I accept her tears as an apology. I understand the fear of rejection, the vulnerability, the shame. I get it. I began to educate my-self and even though I have the fear of catching it, I feel prepared to take the risk and know that there is medication for outbreaks and the nerve pain, and if I get bad symptoms, one year will be fine to my body to build antibodies. Sometimes I feel angry because she is a PhD in biology and I had to go trough the research (internet doesn’t help and even doctors). I had to talk with an infectologist and she gave me all the information and shared with me PDFs.  I just think that it’s a virus that likes the sacral ganglia, and that the virus got a different path when the human being began to walk. That’s the way I see it and It makes me feel fine. 

I don’t want to use condoms and I don’t want her to feel worried about giving it to me. I just want to tell her: “look. I see you want communication so I know there is an outbreak. Fine. But I don’t care. I’ll do it, no condoms. If you wanna take your Valtrex fine, but I don’t want you to do it. You said you haven’t had outbreaks in 7 years. I don’t want you to take a medication that remembers you that you have it. I get it. I don’t care, I love you and your body”. I see there are people here that say they are in 10-11 year relationships and never gave it to the partner, Congratulations!!! However, you are the exception, according to a paper I read (Terri Warren), transmission occurs normally in a frame time of 6-12 months in relationships where one has it and other not. And I accept it. I will continue having sex in the same way I did when I didn’t know she has it, loving her body and seeing her smiling and kissing me. She is the same person I felt in love (intelligent, delicate, pretty). I always felt loved by her. I just want to tell her that I’m afraid, of course, because I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and it can be a trigger of outbreaks. Hopefully I’ll be asymptomatic (I know what’s being hsv1 asymptomatic); if I get a blister, a rash, a bump, we will laugh and I’ll say it’s nothing, it’s a skin condition. If I get a bad outbreak and nerve pain, I’ll just ask her to hug me and tell me that she loves me and tell me that the first one is the worst, that I’ll be fine. It’s not the end of the world. I will still like her and love her. And sex doesn’t stop, there are other ways to enjoy each other while she has an outbreak or if I get an outbreak.

My question is the following. I just listened to Terri Warren’s podcast in this website with Adrial. There is a moment she says that she knew some women got intentionally hsv-2 orally, waited the 4 months that the body builds antibodies, so the probabilities to catch it genitally decrease since once you get it in one part you don’t get it in other part. They do it to get pregnant and make sure they won’t get it genitally. Hsv-2 oral sheds 1% (3 days) in a year and there is just one outbreak and that’s all. 

So, I was thinking. I can do that haha. I wait until she gets an outbreak and let’s catch it intentionally in my mouth, let’s wait 4-6 months until I built antibodies and voilà. I’d prefer to have it orally with one outbreak, instead of having it genitally and having the risk of getting recurrent outbreaks or nerve pain. If I get it genitally even doing it, I don’t care. Let’s live the live taking care of each other and making it just an annoying thing from times to times in our relationship. 

Did I understand well what Terri Warren said or it’s a mistake?

Regards. 

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