In disbelief in long term marriage! Help!

[Whatdahell]

I am a 41 y/o woman who has been happily married and been with the same man for over 17 years. We have two kids who do not deserve to have to deal with what could come of this situation! 
Over the past month, I’ve been feeling some insane “prodrome” (now that I know the term for it) symptoms like vaginal pinching, tingling, and leg nerve pain on again/off again throughout. I just brushed it off until I began to have a painful yeast infection around this same time. I tried monistat which made it worse, but I continued yogurt and other things that have worked in the past. I went to the doctor about 5 days later because I started to feel the tingling/stabbing more. He checked me thoroughly and told me that he didn’t see anything and just to take it easy. He thought the YI had cleared on its own by that point, so he didn’t prescribe anything. Of course, no one is even thinking H at all! I came home and felt better for a few days. I then starting feeling the pains again. It kept feeling like something was going to appear or something. In the past, My husband had some warts  around 16 years ago that he said had come back from prior to me. I seriously thought some warts were forming in my vagina and I just couldn’t see them!  This was the only thing on my mind. I then saw 3 little small bumps in a cluster appear out of nowhere. I still didn’t think it was H at all!  I went on google and searched my symptoms and it kept coming up to herpes! Omg! I literally was speechless and became numb. How in the hell could this happen?  I called my friend who is in the healthcare field and she advised me that this type of stuff can be dormant and it is possible that it’s H. I went into a deep depression and shock and could not tell my husband out of fear that he will think I cheated and leave me. I do not think my husband has cheated and there is no way that I can bring myself to even begin to mention this due to the state of shock that I am currently in. I suffer from anxiety and this has set it off along with panic attacks. I have gone though grief, shock, horror and every emotion there is. I finally went to my dr and got a blood test and sure enough I had a high score for HSV-1 and was negative for HSV2. The doctor believes that I have had this for a while and also told me that it’s probably from a cold sore from my childhood. I nor my husband have never had any cold sores. My dr says that I was not checked for these things when I had the kids and in fact he doesn’t like checking because there are so many false positives. He didn’t give me much advice on how to tell my husband and said that “everyone has Cold sores”.  I am in a deep deep depression and do not know how to tell my husband of this diagnosis that I received on yesterday. This is seriously a sad time! Thanks in advance for any help. This community  has been helpful so far. 

[Sumshine]

It sounds like your Dr is grasping at straws. If you never had cold sores (you or your husband) then that's out the window. Yes, you could have had this a very long time (from another relationship) and it has been dormant, that's definitely a possibility. Do you know if your husband has been faithful 100%? If so, sit him down and tell him! If there aren't trust issues in your marriage, why would he think you cheated?? Especially if you are discussing this with him. I hope everything works out for the best. I think you have to bring it up. Best of luck to you❤

[Whatdahell]

I have been in so much disbelief these last few days, but was able to finally to talk to him. He did not accuse me of cheating! I was afraid that he would because it’s the normal response! In fact, I am still in disbelief how this could go unnoticed for so many years and how it just pops up now?! I have had so many medical and dental  procedures over these years!? I do believe that I have ignored little things over the years but nothing major at all. I’ve never had a bump in my vaginal area! How was this missed with birthing my kids? Doctor said they don’t check for this unless someone is exhibiting symptoms of it. He believes that it could very well have dormant this whole time. 
He has assured me that he has not cheated either. He will be going to take a blood test. If he is negative, I am afraid that he will leave me. He’s being calm right now but he does not believe that this is adding up at all. He has never exhibited any symptoms orally or genitally ever, so he believes he is negative! This is beyond devastating. My marriage may be over! 
 

[Whatdahell]

So many questions! Could this have been passed on to my kids in any way? 
The “outbreak” that occurred does not sound like what I’m reading regarding fever, burning pee, and blistering lesions. I did not have any of that! The other symptoms (pinching, stabbing pains, and cluster of bumps) lead me to this diagnosis after the dr could not figure out what was wrong. There were no oozing lesions. 
After this diagnosis, he did not even prescribe any of the meds that I’m reading about. Should I be on these? My vaginal area seems to have retuned back to normal and I feel no pain. Should I expect more OBs? I guess it’s safe to say that I have GHSV1 although doctor thinks it’s an oral infection from childhood. ? Since this has happened, I have been feeling like my lips are tingling but I don’t see anything. Help! 

[Howtodeal]

Hi there! 
Just came across this - how is it going?