Feels like its all over... too depressed.

[BeingMe]

I found out in october 2020 that I have HSV-2. My boyfriend broke up with me in October. Few days later I found some herpes ointment in his closet that he ordered 2 years ago. When confronted he said he was scared when I complained about bumbs and bought the meds online. He got tested in Aug-Sept 2020 but never told me about it. He said his tests were negative. I feel he broke up with me because of H. 

I am an Indian girl and marriage is important in our culture. I got back into the marriage circle and met a guy. When I told him about my H he appreciated my honesty but refused to have a relationship. Thats when it dawned on to me the 1st time how serious it is to have H. 

I have started feeling depressed and I have cried non-stop since. I have also felt suicidal because its not going to be easy or even possible for me to find a husband. I cannot reveal it to my parents and the feeling of being alone and lonely forever has been creeping into me. I dont have kids but I do want to have them. I have lost all positivity and feel scared all the time. I dont know what to do.

[Sumshine]

Can you join a herpes dating site in India? If so, maybe you could meet someone that way. It's just a thought. 

[BeingMe]

Hi @Sumshine thank you for the suggestion, but I dont know any such site. I don't think people talk about these things in that country.

[Sumshine]

I understand! I just feel like since, obviously people are getting herpes in India, that they'd have some sort of outlet. 

[BeingMe]

@Sumshine I wish there was. I recently met a guy I got a marriage proposal. He demanded honesty and transparency so I told him about my H. He appreciated my honesty but refused to go ahead with the proposal because he wanted to be intimate with his new wife without being infected. 

I have been very depressed in the last few months. I know its next to impossible to find a guy who would be ok with no intimacy.

[Montana Skies]

Just wondering if you are muslim? If you are i came across a support/dating group for muslims only with HSV.  Try a google search its called blessings from above....or something similar.