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Herpes from sexual assault

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Hi, has anyone on here been diagnosed with HSV2 because of a sexual assault? I am really struggling with the severity of a first outbreak but also the fact that I contracted this from being assaulted and am just in a terrible mental place right now. I feel like my doctors don’t understand and I am just mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted and suffering and I have no one to talk to about this except for a select few trusted family members but even then, they can’t possibly understand the pain I’m going through with this outbreak and the way it happened. Thanks in advance, just looking for some support.

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I’m really, really sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine what it must feel like to be a survivor of sexual assault, while simultaneously being a victim of HSV-2. You are stronger than you know, and I applaud you for reaching out for support. You are not alone ❤️

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Hi @MG_25 and I'm so sorry this happened. I have met a lot of women in my coaching practice who have gotten herpes by sexual assault. It can certainly feel like sexual assault is already enough to process and heal from, then herpes on top of that can feel like too much. But you will get through this. You deserve to be treated not just with respect, but with deep love and reverence. Feeling safe, considered and taken care of in relationship is what I wish for you above all. And like @~Minerva~ said, the fact that you are reaching out for support shows you are committed to your healing. It takes courage and it takes patience. Have you perchance tried contacting your local rape crisis center? They may not be able to fully empathize with the herpes part of this, but they will be able to help in a big way around the sexual assault part. 

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Thank you both for your replies. @minerva, thank you for your kind words and @mr_hopp, yes I have reached out through my doctors and am waiting to get an appointment with a therapist. I found your website actually because I was mostly looking for answers to a lot of physical problems I was going through as a result of the HSV 2 diagnosis that I felt like all of my doctors weren’t really helping with, and I’m great for these forums because it made me feel like it wasn’t “all in my head” as I was being told and that other people were going through it as well. This initial outbreak lasted for almost three weeks and was so severe even with 2 grams a day of Valtrex that I feel like it destroyed everything. I cried every time I had to go to the bathroom, I developed urinary retention out of nowhere on week 2 requiring a catheter and constipation so bad that every over the counter laxative and no amount of water or fiber helped. I asked if it could be related to the Valtrex because that’s when it seemed to start happening and was told people usually get diarrhea and that I just needed to relax and it would get better soon. I went off the Valtrex for a week to see if it would get better but the UTI are retention started again and I had to start self catheterizing at home. I did some research and found some studies linking HSV 2 to colon and bladder malfunction and decided to go back on the Valtrex at a prophylactic dose (500 mg) and now that I’ve been back on that for 5 days, I’m finally peeing normally again. 

I just feel like this disease and assault has truly turned my life upside down. I am a nurse and I appreciate the fact that no, it’s not HIV or AIDS, it’s not cancer and it’s a disease “you can live with,” which is what I have been told by every doctor I have been seeing in the last month. And I get that. But I also can’t get over the fact that...it’s an incurable disease. It will never go away. I’ll never be the same as I was the month before this happened to me.  To feel like you’ve been assaulted against your will which is cruel and damaging enough to live with and then also be told you now have to live with the physical pain and reminder of that for the rest of your life is unthinkable. But what really was a low for me was having to cry every time I had to pee. LOSING the ability to pee and having a catheter put in. Such simple, simple things in life that babies can do, and now as an adult I can’t. I’m terrified of eating the wrong thing with too much arginine, I’m terrified of stopping the valtrex even though I feel like it’s making me not sleep well but even more terrified of having another outbreak. I couldn’t sit, walk or drive for WEEKS. I felt like, in a sentence, this disease has made me totally lose all control over my life. 

Did anyone else have these problems with their first outbreak? Does it get better? 

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I’m glad you’re working on finding a therapist; I think the right one can really help you work through the feelings surrounding this. 
I have heard stories from people saying they were told “be happy it’s not HIV”, which I find to be dismissive and quite honestly, cruel. You can relieved you don’t have HIV while simultaneously being dismayed that you have HSV-2. I, luckily, was never told anything like that by the doctors I’ve been treated by, but I would not take kindly to a comment like that. I’m sorry you’ve been spoken to that way. 
My initial outbreak was more systemic- really high fever, body aches, swollen lymph nodes, etc and much less about the actual outbreak. I have not had another one since, so I can’t speak to them getting better, but everything I’ve read says they will get less severe as time goes on. The fact that you’re on a daily suppression regimen should also help. 
Again, I am so, so sorry this happened to you. You are strong and you will get past this. Wishing you all the best. 

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