Constant outbreaks on Valtrex/feeling discouraged

[12073273]

I’m just looking for some wise words/help/encouragement from some people who can relate or have had herpes for a while...
 

I’ve had HSV-1 (genitally) now for 6 months and have had an outbreak every single month, sometimes twice a month while taking upwards of 1500mg Valtrex a day and nothing has changed. I’m feeling so disheartened as the outbreaks are not only painful and annoying but also resurface hard emotions of when I was first diagnosed....I am only 23, single, and never had a long-term serious relationship. I feel very sad and alone dealing with this new disease sometimes and don’t want to ever date again as I’ve had such terrible experiences with men in the past on top of this...

(a little backstory)

I contracted herpes from my most recent ex who didn’t know he had it. We didn’t know they don’t test for herpes in STI screenings and both got tested prior to going all the way, so I naively assumed it would be safe to use no condom-something that he had been pushing for even though I was uncomfortable with it. 
Throughout the relationship he was very disrespectful and early on I knew it wouldn’t last and was planning on ending things just before I got my first OB. I regret dating him so much and ignoring so many red flags...

My first OB was horrible. Not to be graphic but my genitals had swollen to 3x the size,  I had sores literally EVERYWHERE, I couldn’t walk for a week, I was prescribed T4’s to manage the pain, and my conservative father nearly disowned when he found out. I couldn’t look at myself, my privates looked literally mutilated it was so bad and I just felt completely crushed. The sores also took nearly a full month to heal completely. My ex accused me of cheating, (which I did not-his previous ex had cheated on him and so he had serious trust issues), and was incredibly unsupportive and my whole family ended up getting involved to de-escalate the situation; so my sex life was being discussed for a week (very embarrassing). I felt so destroyed, ashamed, stupid...contracting an STI was one of my worst fears, and I had been so careful with my previous partners-getting tested and using condoms.on top of this the doctors I dealt with were extremely unsupportive and gave me incorrect information. I ended up doing virtual counselling out of an specialized STI clinic in a different city because the one in my city literally told me to google herpes when I called them and that I couldn’t come in to see them...to say the whole situation was traumatic is an understatement.

I’ve since resolved the conflicts with my Dad (who is very supportive now I am grateful to say) and I left my ex months ago. I am also educated now about the facts of herpes and how common it is etc. 
 

However, the recurrent outbreaks have me heartbroken still. Every time I begin feel better about the situation I OB again, usually on my period. I thought taking the meds would suppress it but they have done literally nothing for me. I don’t like the thought of dating in the future, partially because of how I’ve been treated by guys in the past but also because I am scared no one will want me because of this and how it will complicate things, especially since I’ve been having so many OB. 

I just feel sad and alone. Does anyone who has been dealing with this have some words of wisdom and encouragement? 
 

Thank you so much. 

[beihaigirl2004]

I am newly diagnosed- Feb 2021- but I can sympathize with a horrible onset outbreak. Pain, itching, constipation, not wanting to wear bottoms because the rubbing was just too excruciating. It lasted like 4 weeks. Most of my physical symptoms have cleared but emotionally its been rough. I have not had another OB yet but its always in my head that I will. Anyway my symptoms seemed to subside when I added Lysine to my regimen. It is an essential amino acid that has been shown to help outbeaks in people with herpes. I heard about it on another forum and researched it before taking it. I take 1,000mg 2x/day. I know everyone has different experiences but I think it has helped me. I still take Valtrex (500mg 1x day). Hang in there. We all got a raw deal but this group has some pretty good information and experiences. It has helped me some. Hugs!

[12073273]

Thank you so much your reply means the world. It is nice to have someone to empathize with. I’m sorry you also had a horrible initial outbreak!

I will try adding the Lysine and hopefully with that and Valtrex I will see some improvement. 

Thanks! :)