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I have herpes but my boyfriend doesn’t

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I was diagnosed with hsv2 genital herpes back in 2018. Since then I have been very cautious with new sexual partners. For the past two years i did not receive or give oral sex due to hsv. However, my new partner is someone I believe is long term. We participated in oral sex while high intoxicated but it happened a few more times even while sober. However now my partner was diagnosed with hsv1 but he has had no cold sores or irritation. Now he no longers wants to perform oral on me but he is okay with me going down on him. We have had unprotected pretty much since the beginning of our relationship. I thought he was fully accepting me but now he’s changed. How do i tell him that i desire oral agAin? He doesn’t seem to understand that having unprotected sex with me and then me going down on him and kissing him presents the same risks. I feel he won’t understand and i won’t even enjoy it if he decides to go down on me again because I’ll always know that he didn’t want to anymore. However it’s killing me because sex is how i express myself and i feel i should have that the sex i want and crave since we have already crossed that line. I have been two years with no outbreaks and still on my preventative medications. Maybe im being selfish but I think things would be fine😓 

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Hello! No, not selfish. Just a fellow sexual human being. 😄

Some things to clarify: It's actually super rare to get HSV-2 orally. Only 1-2% of ALL oral herpes cases are HSV-2 (in other words, 98-99% of all oral herpes cases are HSV-1). As long as you pause the hanky pank while you're having outbreaks of course, he's much less likely to get oral HSV-2 via oral sex than you may be assuming. Download your free handouts for a breakdown on transmission risks: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

I hope this helps!

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Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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