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Coming to terms

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I’m pretty shaken up.

backstory: I’ve only been in 3 long term relationships. 1 was my high school sweetheart (16y) the next was a girlfriend of 5 years and now I’m with my new girlfriend of almost a year. (I’m 40yo) in each relationship, the conversations were had (have you ever had an std...), the answer was always “no”. Current girlfriend gets checked regularly out of good habit and routine) little did we know, hsv is not in the standard testing... you all know the drill. 

 1 week ago today I noticed two odd pimples on my shaft. Jokingly, I showed my girlfriend and assumed it was poison ivy as I had been working in the yard the day before. Within two days, inflammation and clusters of blisters and ulcers blew up. Straight to pcp. Got swabbed and igg blood work. 

Thursday the results came back. <0.09 on blood (negative) and “isolated” on swab (aka positive) 

I never thought this could happen to me. Too safe, never a one night stand, only with 3 girls sexually in my entire life. 

I believe, via the blood test coming back negative that I have recently contracted it (within the past few weeks) and have no antibodies in my blood yet. At least that somewhat helps narrow things down. 

current girlfriend never had an outbreak. Her last boyfriend was a narcissistic Liar and a cheat. We are pretty confident it came from him and she just didn’t know. 

I have tons of questions, have been doing 10+ hours of research a day and the waves of grief, fear and emotional roller coaster is got me exhausted and it’s tough hanging on. 

there was no chance this was ever gonna happen to me in my lifetime. World flipped upside down. 

dr perscibed valtrex. 2 tabs a day for 10 days and physical I’m doing very well right now. Almost all healed up. Odd sunburn sensations on my thigh and odd hard to explain sensation in my belly button that is so subtle it almost feels like it’s just all in my head but I know it’s some effect of the virus. 

I know I’ll learn to cope and I’m praying for minimal reactions from hear on out but I am terrified of what could come. Everyone seems to have different reactions and experiences with this. 

I know things could be worse and it’s “not the end of the world” but this is majorly catastrophic for me. 

I have so much I want to say here (and I will) but my brain is shot. I just want to thank all of you for this community and any support that comes from it. 

this is a devastating time in my life. 

first question though, blood work was negative. Swab was positive (“isolated”) for “HSV” but did not specify 1 or 2. I assume it’s 2 but need/want to know for sure if it’s one or 2. Any insight appreciated. 

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