Condom broke and I woke up with an outbreak...

[Mtnandwaves]

I was having intercourse with a man last night the condom broke and we didn't realize for about under a minute... This am I woke up and had sores but didn't even feel any symptoms yesterday. What are the chances it transmits to him? I don't know what to do, I feel helpless. I am a female.

[mr_hopp]

Hi @Mtnandwaves,

That's going to be a hard question to give a definitive answer on, unfortunately.

It's possible that the sex itself was what triggered the outbreak to come on the following day (friction and all), so perhaps you weren't having the active outbreak during actual penetration. 🤞

When you disclosed to him, did you find out if he has been tested for herpes already so at least he knows his baseline status? If he did contract herpes last night, then blood tests won't pick it up for another few months (takes a while before antibodies reach detectable levels), but if any sort of rash or blisters appear, those can be swabbed and tested immediately via PCR. 

How has the relationship been progressing up to this point? How long have you been seeing each other?

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi! ❤️

I am so sorry that you are experiencing worry and anxiety. I have been in your shoes. I had sex and the next morning woke up with about 30 blistery sores all over my external and internal labia, while my male partner had no symptoms. The doctor I went to explained that my partner had given it to me, as the extreme outbreak I had was a first-outbreak response, and my partner most likely did not know they had herpes and then gave it to me. I have HSV1 on my genitals, and I had received oral sex from my partner, so I am pretty sure I received his oral herpes (HSV1) on my genitals from oral sex. If your partner has/is prone to oral cold sores, and you had oral sex preformed on you the other night, this is possible. However, the test would need to confirm the type of herpes. 

Basically, it is hard to tell who gave who herpes, but it seems that there are many unaccounted for variables (history of partner, cold sore history on mouth or genitals, length of time from previous intimate relationship, etc) used to determine if you  would give it to him or if he gave it to you (in which case you need not worry about giving it to him.since he already has it). 

No matter what, you are not dirty or less of a person. You are worthy of love, respect, and kindness. 

You've got this! Be kind to yourself. I'm sending healing and peace your way!! ❤️🌄🌈