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I need some positive disclosure stories!

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So I finally started dating again after my ex, who gave me the beautiful present of HSV2. We have been broken up for a while but the thought of having to tell someone terrifies me and I held back because of it.

Fast forward, I finally decide I'm ready to date. Met a guy who I completely fell for. He was smart, sweet, attractive, honest. Just everything. When it came time to tell him, I could tell the air just changed.

I told him I'd give him some time to think about it and to please ask me any questions. Well, he texted me the next day and ended it. Said he couldn't take the chance.

I'm devastated. I'm scared of being alone forever. I'm scared of never having great sex again. I'm scared of never being loved.

Please please share your positive disclosure stories because I couldbuse some cheering up..

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We’ve all been there. Including thinking there’s no hope, but that line of thinking is all bullhonkey (excuse my french). These thoughts you listed off are actually super common, but it doesn’t mean they’re true. (My favorite bumper sticker: “Don’t believe everything you think!”) 

If anything, having herpes filters out the riffraff in the shallow end of the pool and gets right to the depth of relationship, the vulnerability, the true connection ... which is what we’re all after anyway. Give yourself some time to recoup, but don’t let that stinkin’ thinkin’ be the barrier to you finding what you want and deserve.

And as far as positive disclosure stories go? Here’s around 2.4K of them: https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/?forumId=9

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Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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  • 1 year later...

My current boyfriend waited FIVE months to disclose to me. In the meantime he got to know me and devolved a deep mental bond with me. We FaceTimed a lot (hes long distance) and slowly I fell in love with him. He told me I made him "emotionally happy" and that is the most important thing to him. I felt special and I loved how his herpes forced us to slow down and get to know each other FIRST. Before he came out to meet me for the first time he told me he needed to "speak to me about something important "....I was so nervous he was going to tell me he was married!! Instead he said "I have strong feelings for you and I can see us progressing into something much more but I need to let you know I have herpes"....honestly I was so relieved he wasnt married or breaking up with me I burst out laughing (probably not the best reaction). My sister has herpes and never gave it to her husband and I have worked in the medical field so I was aware of the risks. We talked a bit about how he takes daily anti virals and how he hasn't had an outbreak in years and never passed it to anyone. He asked if he could still come see me and said there was absolutely no pressure to do anything sexual. I agreed and we did have wonderful sex and I did not catch anything. My point is herpes can be a blessing in disguise because it in a way makes you get to know someone for a long time before jumping into bed. Only disclose to empathic and people worthy of that private knowledge . It really weeds out the bad apples. We are still dating almost two years later and he is truly the MOST amazing man Ive ever met. His years living with herpes has taught him there are more important things in life than just sex and I benefit greatly from that attitude . Just take your time disclosing, if a guy is worthy of you he will wait and be okay with getting to know you first. Only disclose when you feel 100% comfort in doing so. Anyway, hope my story helps a little. Stay strong, you always have friends here to talk to if you need us.

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