Condom fell off during sex. Will he get herpes?

[jessi03]

So I've been talking to someone and he knows about the herpes. So we decided to be intimate and we used protection but at the end the condom stay inside of me. We're are both worry and I'm scared he's going to get away from me. I don't know what to say or what to do. It was great but I'm worry, this is hard:(. I don't like the idea that someone I care about could get infected how do you deal with this?

[HBetty]

Are you on medication? Are you having an outbreak?

 

I feel like if you are on meds, and not currently having an outbreak the odds are very low that he has contracted anything. I think it is something like a 2 percent chance.

 

Breathe. Non of this is your fault. If he has contracted something, it is just luck of the draw. But I highly doubt that if you are taking your meds and not having symptoms that he has caught anything.

 

You did the best you could. Forgive yourself if anything happens. If you could have prevented it, you would have. Some things are simply out of your control.

 

Breathe.

[jessi03]

Thank you betty and I haven't had an outbreak since I found out I had herpes, I just got scared. This is new to me and like you said I just new to breath, but I feel better now:)

[mr_hopp]

Yes, HBetty is right. Here, let me break down the facts here for you:

 

If you're not having an active outbreak, even if you don't wear protection (I don't recommend this, just for the sake of example) and don't take suppressive therapy, the chance of spreading herpes from female to male is 4% (10% chance from male to female). Suppressive therapy and condom use cuts down the risk of spreading herpes by 50% apiece. The math breaks down to being a 1% chance of passing herpes (female to male) if you use both a condom and suppressive therapy (2.5% from male to female). The fact that the condom slipped off in your case makes it so the worst case scenario there is a 2% chance of him getting herpes from you. Let the paranoia go, but let this be an experience that has you being vigilant about keeping you and your future partners safe. That's what this is all about. Be careful, but don't be paranoid. :)

 

Here are some super helpful handouts that break all this down:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

[Blue True]

Jessie can you give an update, I am currently in the same situation. What happened to your partner ?