Is it possible that I gave my daughter herpes?

[worriedmom32]

My 13 year old daughter started complaining about burning down there. she is still a baby. Hasn't left the house this entire time. School hasn't been in session. She often crawls in my bed and cuddles with me. I've had outbreak after oubreak and now i'm terrified that I've given my baby girl herpes. We went to the doctor and got tested for yeast, bv and trich and nothing. all clear. We're going back today and i'm humiliated to even ask for a herpes test but i'm going to. We're also going to ask for a urinary tract infection test. 

Her symptoms

Burning when she pees that comes and goes. This has been going on for an entire week 

She also mentioned that she saw something that looked like a boil on her privates but it went away. I asked her if she's had it before and she said yes. 

It's very common for girls to have pimples down there but i brushed it off when the burning started I freaked out. 

I don't know if I can live with myself if I gave this to my 13 year old daughter. Her life hasn't even began. Please someone tell me what to do. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi, @worriedmom32!!

First, breathe. It will be okay. I cannot even imagine your worry, especially since you are a momma bear, I'm sure you love your child more than anything. 

I'm sorry you've been experiencing physical pain and symptoms. It can be so frustrating to have test after test and still be worried. If you do have herpes, it is spread from skin to skin contact. Sharing towels or bedding wouldn't result in spreading of the virus.

I used to be a nanny for a seven year old girl who had frequent UTIs, and skin lesions on her bottom. She had some potty issues (afraid to go at school, etc), but her conditions weren't sexually transmitted nor herpetic. 

Rest assured, if your daughter snuggles in your bed, you wouldn't give her HSV. Only skin to skin contact with the infected area during viral shedding or an outbreak would result in transmission. This means her private parts would have to come in contact with your infected area, or she somehow touched your infected area and then touched her parts somehow, which is unlikely and obviously I'm sure that wasn't/isn't the case!!! 

Puberty is when pubic hairs start to grow, and ingrown hairs actually look a lot like herpes sores except they heal differently (herpes has specific stages of sore healing). Also, my period and using pads made me uncomfortable down there when I was younger (I am now 22) and not changing a pad can cause UTIs and issues similar as well.

Does your daughter swim or play sports? Sweaty clothes and or bathing suits can increase risk of UTIs or discomfort down there. Same with non-breathable clothes. 

I hope this offers some support and advice! I am so sorry for your worry! Please know we are here for you. This is not your fault, you are a good mom. Take care of yourself, there is NO shame is getting a herpes test. If you have active sores, the doctor will do a swab culture of the sores you have and check it for HSV. if you do not have active sores right now, you can get a blood test. IgG tests are recommended, and I can give you more info about testing, too!! 

Sending blessings and happiness your way! 🌄🌻

-- Grace

[Flowerteacher55]

Also, other moms, PLEASE join in here to offer some kindness and motherly support and advice! I know others have had this concern of passing it to children, and their worries have been alleviated from support on this forum. @worriedmom32 don't worry, you are NOT alone!!! ❤️

[worriedmom32]

29 minutes ago, Flowerteacher55 said:

Rest assured, if your daughter snuggles in your bed, you wouldn't give her HSV. Only skin to skin contact with the infected area during viral shedding or an outbreak would result in transmission. This means her private parts would have to come in contact with your infected area, or she somehow touched your infected area and then touched her parts somehow, which is unlikely and obviously I'm sure that wasn't/isn't the case!!! 

 

Thank you so much for this! 

The thing is I often wear boyshorts and a tshirt to walk around the house. We often lay like this )( facing away from each other. If it was transmitted, that would mean i have sores on my butt but then they say it can spread with or without sores. She says the pain is in the morning and then she doesn't feel it all day unless she pees - which doesn't sound like herpes (at least for me). My outbreaks are constant burning (when I have them) and I've never seen a sore. It doesn't burn at all when I pee so color me confused. We are going to the doctor today to get tested for a UTI and HSV2. Please pray for me. I don't think I would forgive myself if I gave my child this thing. I just don't know how i'd live with myself. From now on I'm going to be so careful. I'm just horrified right now. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!! 

Aw, I am so sorry. It is going to be okay!! Yeah, doesn't sound like herpes to me, either!! It could be a UTI because morning pain could be from not peeing all night and the bladder is tired or too full, or if your child isn't hydrated enough, it can cause issues when she wakes up (drinking a glass of water before bed or cranberry juice can help clear up UTIs and dehydration ❤️, if that is what's going on!)

Also, HSV1 can be located on the genital region, so have your doctor test for HSV1 and 2 for you and or your daughter if you feel it is needed for her. 

Good luck! Let me know how it goes. I'm praying for you and your daughter!! 🦋🌻🌄

[worriedmom32]

1 hour ago, Flowerteacher55 said:

Hi!! 

Aw, I am so sorry. It is going to be okay!! Yeah, doesn't sound like herpes to me, either!! It could be a UTI because morning pain could be from not peeing all night and the bladder is tired or too full, or if your child isn't hydrated enough, it can cause issues when she wakes up (drinking a glass of water before bed or cranberry juice can help clear up UTIs and dehydration ❤️, if that is what's going on!)

Also, HSV1 can be located on the genital region, so have your doctor test for HSV1 and 2 for you and or your daughter if you feel it is needed for her. 

Good luck! Let me know how it goes. I'm praying for you and your daughter!! 🦋🌻🌄

We just got a blood test for HSV1 and HSV2 and the doctor did a urine test as well. She inspected my daughter again and confirmed that everything was normal down there and reassured me that I did nothing wrong. She said even if my daughter does have HSV2 not to worry because it's very common. I left that appointment feeling so much better. I felt like complete shit. I still want to know the results of the test though. 

The urine test came back "non suggestive" but there was blood in the urine. They're sending it off for a culture. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!! 

Hooray! I am so happy you feel better. Yes, HSV-2 is pretty common, however not too common among young children and young teens. If a child or person under the age of 18 has HSV then the doctor should screen them for sexual abuse. I know it is scary and no one wants to even think that, but it's typical procedure (or at least should be!) for the child's wellbeing. Or, you can even talk to your child about it if she is positive for HSV-2. 

Blood in the urine could indicate a couple of things (including period blood/puberty changes). I pray everything goes well for you and your daughter!! 

Blessings! 🌻🌄

[worriedmom32]

10 hours ago, Flowerteacher55 said:

Hi!! 

Hooray! I am so happy you feel better. Yes, HSV-2 is pretty common, however not too common among young children and young teens. If a child or person under the age of 18 has HSV then the doctor should screen them for sexual abuse. I know it is scary and no one wants to even think that, but it's typical procedure (or at least should be!) for the child's wellbeing. Or, you can even talk to your child about it if she is positive for HSV-2. 

Blood in the urine could indicate a couple of things (including period blood/puberty changes). I pray everything goes well for you and your daughter!! 

Blessings! 🌻🌄

I'd welcome an investigation because she's been home the entire pandemic. And I'm a single mom. We're still in lock down and school hasn't started yet. The doctor inspected her and didn't see any tears, cuts, sores, bumps, nothing...but she's still having issues. I noticed whatever she has was getting better but yesterday we went out for lunch  and she said the burning got "worse" (after having a chicken wrap from jason's deli) my heart dropped because my outbreaks get bad when I eat shitty food. She also mentioned her pelvic region hurt when she tried to go #2. The doctor reassured me that even if she had HSV2 it could have been transmitted in non-sexual ways but that doesn't give me any closure at all because it's not what I know about HSV2. She's still very much a baby so this would be soul crushing. I walked away from my entire family last November due to emotional abuse so it's really just us. It's 4am here and I'm losing sleep over this because I know how life altering herpes is. Even then while her symptoms mimic those of an OB, Im having a hard time believing that I could have spread this virus to her by her simply coming in contact with my butt or upper thigh somehow.  I've heard that outbreaks occur where the infection entered the skin so the burning while peeing symptoms is blowing my mind. She's not sexually active. She's just a baby. 

We get the test results back in two days. I'll update you with the findings. I could never forgive myself for giving her HSV2 but I also am comforted knowing that I didn't do anything to deliberately hurt her. The lesson here for me is I should wear clothes around the house more. It's just sad and heartbreaking really. 

I'm taking actions to change her diet so whatever is going on can be remedied using food as medicine. 

[worriedmom32]

I should mention that i have had nonstop outbreaks this past month. If what she has is actually herpes, i'll have to report this to the CDC - people need to know to be careful around their children. I should also mention that her diet hasn't been the best. This thing has made me hypervigilant about feeding her healthier foods so I can heal whatever it is.  My mind is just going straight to the worse case scenario. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!! 🙂 

I hope you are well. 

Honestly that is so considerate that you would notify the CDC if she does have HSV (which of course I hope she does not). Data can help open doors to new research, and there is still SO much more research that needs to be done on HSV!! Thank you for thinking of others and the research done on HSV. 

I wanted to ask about your health; have you taken anything for your non-stop outbreaks? I am so sorry that you have been struggling with that, it is so stressful. Also, the stress of worrying about your daughter can result in more aggressive outbreaks, as outbreaks can be triggered and affected by stress. 

Teenagers usually have not the best dietary habits, but that is normal. If it helps, giving her a multivitamin (classic Flinstones or Gummy bear ones) can help ensure she has enough vitamins. First, I would ask her pediatrician about giving your child anything, though. Also, smoothies are great ways to sneak in some healthy veggies and fruits! One of the worst things teens have (and OVER have, by far) is caffeine. I am in my fifth year of college and I am going to be a special education teacher for high school students, and just being in the high school classrooms I see kids drinking 20 and 30 oz coffees, sodas, and energy drinks like Red Bull and Monster Energy! Caffeine is not good for growing bodies and minds, and students crash later in the day and then need more caffeine as a pick-me-up, which inhibits sleep, which young people also need to grow and maintain happy and healthy minds and bodies.

Nutrition is SO essential, and remember to take care of yourself, too! You can even make a little pact with your daughter, as I have done this with my own mom. We've said we are going to remind each other to take our vitamins each day, have enough water, and get outside time. It helps build a bond and happy habits that kids take with them all throughout their futures! 🙂 

I hope this helps!  Sorry for my rantings haha!!

Blessings,

Grace  

[worriedmom32]

Thank you so much. You've been such a big help. Yes, i'm optimizing her diet and crossing my fingers as we await the urine culture and blood test. I will absolutely alert the CDC if anything. Hopefully my fears will be alleviated soon. Thank you so much for everything. I really appreciate you. ❤️

[Flowerteacher55]

Aw of course!! I'm happy to help!! I appreciate you, too, and you seem like such a good mom!! 🌻❤️

Blessings!! 

[TreeHugger44]

Thank you for your honest post. I am worried about something similar with my 10 year old. Zero chance of abuse or something weird. People say it can’t be spread non sexually but HSV1 can through drinks, chap stick, etc, so I don’t know. 

did you get any test results? 

[worriedmom32]

10 hours ago, TreeHugger44 said:

Thank you for your honest post. I am worried about something similar with my 10 year old. Zero chance of abuse or something weird. People say it can’t be spread non sexually but HSV1 can through drinks, chap stick, etc, so I don’t know. 

did you get any test results? 

Thank you so much. No, I haven't gotten the test results yet. I'll be getting them back by thursday. I was told they can take up to 7-10 business days. Her burning is gone but i'm still worried and I've been losing sleep over it. I've read all the websites and some say you can catch it by skin to skin contact (buttocks, upper thighs..etc) and others say it's genital to genital contact and during sex only so I'm like wtf? what is it? I also think i was sexually active for many many years before i caught herpes but then i've had non stop outbreaks back to back so the possibility of a high viral load is there. I'll post the results here once i get tests back as soul crushing as it may be. 

[worriedmom32]

On 7/16/2021 at 10:32 AM, Flowerteacher55 said:

 

I wanted to ask about your health; have you taken anything for your non-stop outbreaks? I am so sorry that you have been struggling with that, it is so stressful. Also, the stress of worrying about your daughter can result in more aggressive outbreaks, as outbreaks can be triggered and affected by stress. 

 

Not sure why i missed it. I decided not to take suppressants (maybe it was a stupid decision). I actually went on a fruit fast for awhile and got rid of ALL my symptoms but then i got comfortable and started eating like shit again. The only thing that has helped me to go symptom free is a whole food plant based diet.  Herpes is a virus that is very sensitive to foods. I've seen a lot of people in holistic health groups rave about the benefits of an alkaline diet for herpes - they're not lying. I'm in the midst of building a business and having non stop outbreaks back to back to back. This is why I'm so worried about passing it on to my kid because I've been ill with this thing and a lot of days I don't want to get out of bed and she likes to crawl into my bed and give my cuddles, hold me and tell me I'll be okay. 

Also, shortly after i found out i had herpes, I started getting sick with other things. Doctors couldn't find what was wrong with me. I went to all the doctors and nothing. All tests were normal. I finally went to a functional medicine doctor and was told that i tested positive for autoimmune antibodies. My heart just sank into my stomach. The doctor prescribed prednisone for me and said that i'd be okay and well it was then that i started on my holistic healing journey. But a holistic healing journey is no good if you self sabotage with food by eating with your sad, stressed...etc. I had made strides in my health but as a single mother i have the weight on the world of my shoulders. 

I have healed a lot of health issues I had and I can do it again. I know how to eat to heal my body, managing stressful emotions is a whole other category of mastery and I'm just not there yet. 

I have been using herbology in the past to manage symptoms with excellent results. Do you believe valtrex is the way to go? My chinese medicine practitioner says it has done more harm than good for many people but then of course a TCM practitioner would say that. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!!! 

I am so sorry that you've been struggling while building a business. Plus, with the pandemic, stress levels in general for people have been extremely high. Your daughter sounds very kind and sensitive, and it's so sweet how she comforts you! 

Yes, diet is really important for all people, regardless of herpes, too!! I myself have been vegan for about 9 years, and vegetarian years before that. I was tested positive for GHSV-1 in 2019, and I had already been vegan before this. I have only had 2 other outbreaks besides my first one, and I sometimes wonder if my low number of outbreaks has anything to do with my lifestyle. I am only 22 and I don't drink or smoke, either, so maybe a combination of factor has impacted my outbreaks. 

I personally have used Acyclovir to help with the first major outbreak, and then the next one after that. The third outbreak I didn't have access to my Acyclovir and I let the few little sores heal by themselves without the help of medicine, and it was fine. 

It is really up to you what you choose, but if your outbreaks are so severe and back-to-back, it may help if you take an antiviral to help the body be calm enough to be able to use holistic techniques. Sometimes the body is so stressed it needs something to help it, and the antivirals are really amazing, since they do show improvement of sores within days. Also, if the outbreaks are bringing you down, taking the antiviral can help reduce the outbreak severity so you feel emotionally better, which can help you feel more motivated to eat well and take care of yourself. 

For the other autoimmune illness you have, I am so sorry. Would antivirals complicate that? Also, Prednisone weakens the immune system because it forces it to calm down in order to reduce inflammation and from the body attacking itself. So, Prednisone is amazing stuff but also can leave you feeling off because it's a steroid, so it can impact mood and energy, too. 

Also, kudos to you for being a single mom. My mom is also a single mom and she is the strongest woman I know. I am so blessed to have such a strong female role model like her, and I am sure your daughter thinks the same of you!! ❤️

You can do this!! We are all rooting for you!! 🌄🌼🌻

Blessings,

Grace

 

[worriedmom32]

1 hour ago, Flowerteacher55 said:

Hi!!! 

I am so sorry that you've been struggling while building a business. Plus, with the pandemic, stress levels in general for people have been extremely high. Your daughter sounds very kind and sensitive, and it's so sweet how she comforts you! 

Yes, diet is really important for all people, regardless of herpes, too!! I myself have been vegan for about 9 years, and vegetarian years before that. I was tested positive for GHSV-1 in 2019, and I had already been vegan before this. I have only had 2 other outbreaks besides my first one, and I sometimes wonder if my low number of outbreaks has anything to do with my lifestyle. I am only 22 and I don't drink or smoke, either, so maybe a combination of factor has impacted my outbreaks. 

I personally have used Acyclovir to help with the first major outbreak, and then the next one after that. The third outbreak I didn't have access to my Acyclovir and I let the few little sores heal by themselves without the help of medicine, and it was fine. 

It is really up to you what you choose, but if your outbreaks are so severe and back-to-back, it may help if you take an antiviral to help the body be calm enough to be able to use holistic techniques. Sometimes the body is so stressed it needs something to help it, and the antivirals are really amazing, since they do show improvement of sores within days. Also, if the outbreaks are bringing you down, taking the antiviral can help reduce the outbreak severity so you feel emotionally better, which can help you feel more motivated to eat well and take care of yourself. 

For the other autoimmune illness you have, I am so sorry. Would antivirals complicate that? Also, Prednisone weakens the immune system because it forces it to calm down in order to reduce inflammation and from the body attacking itself. So, Prednisone is amazing stuff but also can leave you feeling off because it's a steroid, so it can impact mood and energy, too. 

Also, kudos to you for being a single mom. My mom is also a single mom and she is the strongest woman I know. I am so blessed to have such a strong female role model like her, and I am sure your daughter thinks the same of you!! ❤️

You can do this!! We are all rooting for you!! 🌄🌼🌻

Blessings,

Grace

 

ok so 7 day of water fasting brought my first outbreak from 100 to 0 initially. Valtrex didn't work initially and I didn't like the idea of taking it so i stopped. I had the headache from hell before deciding to fast -It felt like someone was squeezing my head with both hands as hard as they could. I was desperate and willing to do anything. I felt like a newborn baby after that fast. The thing is I went back to eating like shit after that fast. If herpes has taught me anything its that i'm prone to self sabotage and struggle with discipline and consistency. I am now vegan! My daughter is as well. Whole food plant based. When I don't sabotage my diet, I'm outbreak free. 

Ahhh isn't prednisone amazing? Everytime I take it I feel like superhero for a few days and then I feel like pure crap LOL. 

I think i'm going to try water fasting again to get it down and then incorporate herbs and healing foods. I honestly haven't been motivated to do it because it's not an easy thing to do but i'd rather do that than take medication. Now with the threat of passing H to my daughter i think suppressive therapy would be wise on my part so I'll order valtrex tomorrow. 

My goodness I can't believe you're only 22. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age. I couldn't imagine how devastated you must have been to get the diagnosis!  Yeah me and my daughter are thick as thieves. My mother was very abusive (physically and emotionally) and I somehow turned out to be the opposite of her.  I've been able to create a very loving and nurturing environment for my daughter. One i'm very proud of. 

Are you saying that herpes didn't alter your health in anyway? Ever since I was diagnosed I've had all sorts of health issues. But then with all the research it seems herpes only revealed my health issues to me. My herbalist told me I had been ill for a long time before I got herpes. Sounds about right. 

Thank you for all your advice. Your mother must be very very proud. I appreciate you ❤️

[Flowerteacher55]

Aw Hi!!

Yay, a fellow vegan!! 🌱🐄🐖 That is so awesome!!

If you are into cleanses, reflexology is really amazing. Massage and trigger point therapy can really help cleanse the body, and also tapping/EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) therapy has helped me SO much with emotions... it's like an emotional cleanse! ❤️ There is a YouTube channel by Brad Yates and he does tapping videos for literally everything.  Kids can participate in tapping, too! I highly recommend it 🙂

Just be sure to be kind to your body. Dietary cleanses can be really hard on the cells and organs, as well as the mind, since your brain and cells need sodium and potassium and water dilutes electrolytes.   

Aww, you are too kind! You sound like such an amazing mom. I am so sorry your own mother was cruel to you. You did not deserve that at all. It is beautiful that you prospered despite that adversity and have created a happy life for your daughter. ❤️ 

Sending happiness your way!

Blessings,

Grace

[worriedmom32]

2 hours ago, Flowerteacher55 said:

Aw Hi!!

Yay, a fellow vegan!! 🌱🐄🐖 That is so awesome!!

If you are into cleanses, reflexology is really amazing. Massage and trigger point therapy can really help cleanse the body, and also tapping/EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) therapy has helped me SO much with emotions... it's like an emotional cleanse! ❤️ There is a YouTube channel by Brad Yates and he does tapping videos for literally everything.  Kids can participate in tapping, too! I highly recommend it 🙂

Just be sure to be kind to your body. Dietary cleanses can be really hard on the cells and organs, as well as the mind, since your brain and cells need sodium and potassium and water dilutes electrolytes.   

Aww, you are too kind! You sound like such an amazing mom. I am so sorry your own mother was cruel to you. You did not deserve that at all. It is beautiful that you prospered despite that adversity and have created a happy life for your daughter. ❤️ 

Sending happiness your way!

Blessings,

Grace

I actually got certified in EFT. I used it to clear some very heavy toxic energy surrounding my relationship with my parents. Love Brad Yates on youtube.  Still haven't tried reflexology but I'd love to one of these days. You know what really helped when I first got herpes? Acupuncture. Omg. I slept like a baby after my first treatment. It was like Herpes who? I had no care in the world and felt super relaxed it was amazing! I  got the idea to try it after watching this girl on youtube use it to heal her Bells Palsy. I thought shit! If acupuncture can do that maybe it can help me!! It's just damn expensive. 

My herbalist did warn me of water fasting due to the lack of electrolytes. He said to use spring water because it has more minerals and suggested doing more juice fasts instead so I bought an omega and have been drinking lots of juice. I just haven't set my mind to do a juice fast again. It's a lot of work but I might just do it instead of a water fast. Water fasts are just easier because, a nice filter and you're all set LOL. 

Yes, we are far away from those people now.  My daughter and I are super driven and ambitious and just trying to make the most out of life. No matter what we'll be ok. I'll keep you updated. Thank you love. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Holy cow!!! 🐄🐄🐄

That is SO COOL that you're certified!! I love Reiki. I've gotten it done once and literally felt like a little hammer chipping at a huge dam and having it break, and like I released all my anxiety and negative energy.

Funny you mention Bells Paulsy... My mom is dealing with that now!! Acupuncture truly seems amazing!! I'm so happy that helped you. I will look into it for me and my mom❤️ Thank you for the idea!! 

I look forward to hearing about how things turn out!! Sending positive energy out into the world  for you and your daughter 🌎🌄!!

Blessings, Grace

[worriedmom32]

Update: I have zero patience LOL. I called the clinic to find out if results were back yet they said yes and that a nurse would call me. I waited a few hours and no one called so I called back and was told that I needed to wait a few more days for the results to come back. I noticed I had a missed call from the nurse and called back only to be told that the results were in and the nurse just needed to review them before telling me what they are 🤦‍♀️  so I should have the results today. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hey!! Hooray!! That's so great. Phone tag is literally a game that happens just when we don't have time for games haha, lol. Sending prayers your way for good results!! 🌄❤️🦋

[worriedmom32]

Update: Urine culture is negative. HSV1 and HSV2 is also negative! 

eeeeeep!!! Soooo happy!!! What a relief!!!! I'm wearing pants around the house from now on!!! LOL

But here's the thing though, she had a cold sore twice in 4th grade. She's now going on 8th. She hasn't gotten one since then but wouldn't HSV1 show up on a test result still. It's been years. 

Thank you so much for all your help Flowerteacher ❤️

[worriedmom32]

I should say this... I struggle with short term memory due to childhood trauma and almost convinced myself that I did something wrong by hugging her too close. My daughter kept telling me "mom we don't even cuddle that close" and I couldn't believe it because of her symptoms. I was projecting my own stuff on to her because I've had nothing but back to back outbreaks and have been stressed and sick. I'm going to stop torturing myself now and enjoy the day. I'm happy. What a relief. Thank you ❤️ 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!!! 

HOORAAYY!! That is so relieving ❤️ I am so happy for you and your daughter!!! ❤️🌻🌼

In regards to your short term memory from the trauma, I am so sorry. Trauma can make us think we are bad or doing something bad, my therapist called it identifying with the abuser. It's like, we know how it feels to have unkindness done into us, so we have this immense fear of harming others. Please know you are not alone. ❤️

Your daughter is so blessed to have you as a mama!! 🌄🌻🌼

I'm soo happy about the results and for your choice to start enjoying yourself!! 🥰 You deserve to be happy and to enjoy yourself and your life!! 

Wishing you both the best!!! ❤️❤️

Blessings,

Grace