The anxiety is worst then the disease itself

[Thebiglobowski]

Its been over 2 years since I've been diagnosed. My initial outbreak so far was my only out break. Fortunately wasn't very bad. I haven't had any problems since then, haven't passed it on to anyone. Everything's normal and fine. I honestly forgot I even had herpes at some points. But as of recent, for some reason it just hits me. I dont know why but it's all I think about now even though I don't struggle with outbreaks. Is there anyone else out there like me? That literally doesn't have an issue with the disease itself but the anxiety is worse? It's all I think about. For over a year I've been dating someone who loves me very much, who knows I'm HSV2 positive, we talked about it once briefly but I haven't had any outbreaks so it's never been an issue to the relationship, so there's not a reason to bring it up more. Why am I so paranoid? I've had such a good streak. I dont know why now its hitting me and it's all I can think about. Does anyone else not deal with outbreaks but get crippling fear of possibly getting another one? Does it help I have a decent immune system and don't get sick? I'm not sure. Sorry I know you guys aren't doctors but some advice would be nice 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!! ❤️ 

Please know you aren't alone. There are so many reasons why anxiety suddenly closes in on us, however so many of them are subconscious.

For me, I was very upset by my herpes for a while but then I was pretty okay with it; I made my peace wit it. Then, my mom made one judgmental comment and BOOM!-- I suddenly was so ashamed and embarrassed and paranoid I would give it to my family. As someone with OCD, fear of contamination is always on my mind, but it transferred to being afraid of herpes and giving it to someone after that simple comment from my mom! 

Not only this, but just with the pandemic and constantly being bombarded with the words "transmission," "infection," "spreading," etc, I feel like as people with herpes we already as somewhat aware that we can transmit, infect, and spread our virus. I'm a big believer in the power of psychology and sociology and the power of our subconscious minds, and I feel like maybe everything these past two years have really taken a toll on those with STI viruses, and those who have other transmittable illnesses, and those who have anxiety, OCD, and overall worry-ers, (and everyone, since the pandemic affected us all!).

You are not crazy for having this sudden onset of panic and worry. All emotions are okay, but it is what we do with them that matters. Don't let these fears swallow you and distract you from the love you have with your partner and all the blessings in your life. Take our fear and worry through talking to someone (like you've been doing here, yay!), going outside, breathing, meditating, and even rational positive self talk: "I am worthy of love. I know I have these fears, but they are just fears. They can't hurt me, they aren't truthful. I know that I am safe and I can have a beautiful life with herpes, etc" 🙂 

Stay strong!! ❤️ You can do this. We are all here for you! ❤️ 🙂 

Blessings,

Grace 

[Thebiglobowski]

@Flowerteacher55thank you so much for always being so helpful with your advice! I wish it wasn't all I think about. I just get so scared ill get an outbreak and my partner won't want to be with me anymore. Everything's been ok so far, it's just the fact that like it can come at any time without any warning. I dont know why I get so worked up and I feel so alone. I dont have anyone to talk to about it. So I've just been posting in here hoping for some relief 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!! 

Of course, I am happy to help! And aw, it will be okay. Love is the strongest force on this planet. If you and your partner are meant to be, it won't matter if he gets herpes. If anything, it can bring people closer through empathy, and also it makes us cherish sex and intimacy more ❤️.

Stay strong!! 🌄

[Thebiglobowski]

@Flowerteacher55 thanks so much ❤